Monday is Girlfriend Day!

Mondays is GIRLFRIEND day.

This has been proven beyond reasonable doubt.  

There are two kinds of men who are having an affair. The married type and the single ones.

The Married Man:

For the married type, the weekend is sacrosanct. They need to spend time with their family, their kids, and their parents. They attend to all the chores that the wife has given them; their society wants them to do and be good men for the sake of keeping their homes intact. By Monday they have spent 48 hours with their family and feel they truly need a break.

Mondays are rarely `client meeting days’ in the evening. Almost no client wants to go out “drinking” and talk about the future after a hard day at work. Nevertheless, all men need some fun. They do not really want to go back home and talk about household chores. That is when they turn to their girlfriends.

A married man has a very patient girlfriend.  She understands that this man has “issues” to sort out and needs time to figure out his home affairs before he can begin his personal affairs with her. She believes if she gives him space, he will love her more, and eventually they will have a home together. And Mondays are her days. She gets to choose where she wants to go, what she wants to eat, and she has her undivided attention for a few hours until he goes home. It couldn’t be a better arrangement for all even if the Gods had conspired with it.

Most restaurants with cozy little booths are packed to capacity on Mondays. The drive out towards the suburbs see even more couples seeking dimly lit, romantic restaurants that they will not be noticed in. And the more popular ones get packed since the girlfriend, patient as she might be also knows how to play her cards right when it comes to being pampered. She will eventually have her home with him one day, but till then, he will pay for her dry martini and smoke salmon with caviar in the most exclusive bistros.

Yes Mondays is when the excuse book comes out; Client meetings, travelling for work, new project, bad mood of the boss, late edits, computers crashing, doctor’s appointments and of course the classic traffic excuse. They will all hold good. No one in this three-way situation is oblivious to the truth but no one cares enough to confront it immediately. And the excuses, the delays, and the Mondays continue.

The Single Man:

A single man is defined as one that has a girlfriend but has not given her a commitment yet. He is the smartest of all creatures. He needs no excuse to live life on his terms and yet he has women eating from the palm of his hands.

For him Mondays are about reconnecting with the girlfriend. He is not desperate to meet her. He probably only wants to keep her happy by proving he is there to “listen” to her instead of just “pleasuring” her. He has probably taken her out on a Friday night and had a lovely time where she needs the entire Saturday to recover.

The single man needs space. He needs LOTS of space. He needs it because it makes him feel he is the king of his own world and no one can rule him. Hence, the entire weekend needs to be his. He needs to sit around and do nothing. He needs to be able to watch TV without having a bath, eat chicken at all times of the day, drink endless bottles of beer, and watch cricket as if the team’s win depends on him not moving from that chair.

Yes, the single man’s weekend is pathetic to a woman. If he gives a commitment, she will probably make plans for him to go grocery shopping, have a nice brunch, or even take a stroll down a park. But the single man does not want to do any of these things on the weekend. In fact, he would be most happy to sit in one place and try to open the front door with the sheer power of his mind.

By Monday, since he has already bathed, shaved, and worn presentable clothes to work, the single man presumes all that effort need not go to waste. He might as well make a good impression on his current girlfriend. Newton’s Law of Motion proves that if he is going to be up anyway, he should move towards the object of desire.

Mondays with girlfriends are not about amorous intimacy unlike with a married man who is craving physical contact. More often than not, a single man will use Mondays to demonstrate to the woman that he is a loving, gentle, intelligent creature who is witty, charming, and funny. All the things that the woman will go gaga over and then fall into bed with him on Friday. He establishes himself as a debonair and the woman has the whole week to remember this fabulous date on Monday.

There may be other men out there who are completely different from the two species I have described. I am sure most women know them too.