Showing posts with label My Clingy Girlfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Clingy Girlfriend. Show all posts

Friday, May 15, 2015

Chef Ranveer Brar on My Clingy Girlfriend

Chef Ranveer Brar said "Madhuri you've a written an awesome book ... read in one go ..
Just tweeted about it :)"

His Tweet was, "Spent a whole day #MyClingyGirlfriend awesomely written by a fellow lucknowite @madhuribanerjee." 

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Kindle Mag talks about My Clingy Girlfriend and other best selling novels

Madhuri Banerjee was irked at being labelled a chick-lit author, until she realised that it was what sold. Devjani Bodepudi tries to get her to spill the beans on how to make it big.

There is no real recipe for success, no magic formula which will guarantee that a book will sell millions and millions of copies and turn its author into a household name. We’ve been told this countless times and yet, there are a few writers out there in our literary cosmos who seem to have stumbled upon the fabled fairy dust, which made their books float up into the hallowed ether of a bestsellers list.
I had the very real honour of interviewing one such writer a few days ago. Madhuri Banerjee writes books we all want to read. I mean they’re funny, insightful and most importantly full of useful titbits about that elusive thing called love.
My Clingy Girlfriend, her latest bestseller, is a very clever take on love and relationships from a man’s POV. The word which immediately popped into my little head, upon realising that the protagonist was Obrokanti and not Oindrila, was ‘genius’.

Banerjee had managed to crawl inside a man’s head, rummage around and pick out the most essential bits that all us girls need to know to give us a realistic picture of how a man thinks. For your information, 50 percent of men, according to Banerjee, are riddled with a certain amount of self-doubt, uncontrollable lust and ultimately are completely clueless in the ways of love. As her opening line confirms: “I can honestly say that I, Obrokanti Banerjee, know jack shit about love. Nothing. Nada. Zip.” And yet he has managed to bag himself a beautiful girlfriend, whose only flaw, it seems, is that she’s a little clingy. I mean, stereotypically clingy for full comic effect. Incidentally, Banerjee also told me during her interview that Radha, our hero’s girlfriend is a representation of 50 percent of women. These percentages were then jacked up to a rough 80 percent to suggest that in the world of her newest commercial success, four out of five men and women behave and think exactly like this. It was indeed a riotous read.
I really was in awe of such insight and use of statistics!
Banerjee had managed to crawl inside a man’s head, rummage around and pick out the most essential bits that all us girls need to know to give us a realistic picture of how a man thinks.
I managed to reign in my excitement just long enough to ask her about the very important issue of designing the cover. After all, so many books we see on our shelves today, which belong to the commercial fiction genre are clad in covers which give the reader a very good idea of the contents.
12my-clingy-girlfriend-1
I can happily confirm that Banerjee had a lot of input on her cover. She actually wanted it to look that way! Did her creativity know no bounds, I asked myself.
I contemplated the other books we see on our shelves, the so-called classics and I wonder why they chose the artsy-fartsy route instead of the explicit, in your face, tell-it-like-it-is cover. Perhaps they would sell better if they chose a lipstick smudge superimposed onto a silhouette of an intense looking couple walking in the lamplight under an umbrella.
I then got onto the task of asking Banerjee about the content of her books. Did she feel pressured by her publishers to steer clear of subjects such as abortion? “No,” she replied. They accepted every idea she gave them as long as she didn’t want to do literary fiction. Literary fiction didn’t do well in this market. I mean it’s true. Who wants to read anything of any quality? Sorry, substance? I mean difficult? I mean…never mind!
Gone are the days (or maybe they never existed) where people would read books which commented on society, which reported on the injustices of our time, which highlighted the beauty of the everyday. We simply don’t want books like that anymore. Or is that we don’t want women to write these books anymore? I ask this because the Man Booker Prize had only two women on their shortlist last year. Or is it *gasp* that women will never be good enough to win a literary award, unless of course it’s an award specifically designed for women, such as the controversial Bailey’s Prize for fiction?
One particular chair of judges, Lola Young, commented that the British fiction by women that they were asked to appraise fell into two categories, either “insular and parochial” or “domestic in a piddling kind of way.” What would she make, I wondered, of the Indian scene and Madhuri Banerjee and some of our other worthy writers?
I shook away the idea as soon as it entered my head. We don’t need women writing good books—I mean literary books of any substance. We women need Banerjee’s particular blend of writing to warm our cockles and satisfy our fantasies.
Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, for example, essentially belonged to the chick lit genre, it could be argued. I’ll skirt over the social commentary that Austen often engages in her books, I’ll side-step her clever use of satire and sarcasm when dealing with her characters, because that’s hardly important. What is important was the sexual tension between Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett.
I wanted to ask Banerjee about the ‘Chick Lit’ label, to get inside the head of such a wonderful writer who possessed said label would be invaluable. She told me—and I would have to agree—that every woman loves a bit of ‘chick lit’. Romance is great, be it Pretty Woman or Notting Hill. Although she was irked at first at being labelled a chick-lit author, she realised that it was what sold. And she did indeed sell.
And when I thought about it, I was forced to ask, “what really is chick lit?” Isn’t it books, written for women, about women and about women-centric issues? Women make up at least 50 percent of the population, so for there to be a genre dedicated to the things that affect us the most, such as falling in love with a tennis player, or our husbands turning out to be impotent (themes explored by Banerjee), then we should celebrate that. She’s embraced the label now, at a time when we need it most. And she’s selling well, because she’s awesome at it.
What we deem as classic now, Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, for example, essentially belonged to the chick lit genre, it could be argued; with her long-frocked protagonists paving the way for Bridget Jones and the likes of Chetan Bhagat’s glorious cast of social caricatures. I’ll skirt over the social commentary that Austen often engages in her books, I’ll side-step her clever use of satire and sarcasm when dealing with her characters, because that’s hardly important. What is important was the sexual tension between Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett.
We certainly don’t want literature written by women which will allow us to glimpse into family and dilemma and history and social politics. We should leave that to the men.
Moving on, I wanted to explore the idea of feminism and what it was. Commercial fiction seems to lend itself perfectly to be a platform for women to express themselves and talk about their very important needs. In Banerjee’s book Scandalous Housewives, very real, aching issues are explored. Things that women should be talking about and taking control over. Things like wanting kinky sex or having an affair with one’s brother-in-law and saying, “enough is enough…my husband treats me like furniture and I won’t take it anymore!” or the woman who decides her life is about herself and not the men in her life, it’s all really very empowering! And women, especially in this country, are battling these issues every single day. I’ve conveniently forgotten the women who are forced into labouring in the sun for the building of our roads, without proper safety equipment, I’m not going anywhere near female foeticide and I won’t even get started on caste. The real, very important issues are the ones highlighted in Banerjee’s books and books like hers. And we love them!
We love to be immersed in the lives of women and men just like us, or exaggerated versions of us, with dilemmas like crazy clingy girlfriends who only exist everywhere. We certainly don’t want literature written by women which will allow us to glimpse into family and dilemma and history and social politics. We should leave that to the men.
Chick lit, especially Banerjee’s particular brand (because she’s a feminist remember?), challenges patriarchy, according to her. Maybe she’s being satirical by penning a portrait of the most patriarchal fictional figure I have ever come across, in Obrokanti Banerjee, and then making us feel sorry for him because his girlfriend and all subsequent female characters in the story are manipulative, bossy, constantly in need of reassurance and are obsessive about their man. Obrokanti is quite right in being turned on by the suggestion of virginity. Long flowing locks and doe eyes are high on the list for judging quality and worth. Breasts are compared from one woman to the next and of course, we are led to believe this specimen of Bengali manhood is just struggling to get by in a world filled to the brim with crazy women who want to bed him and possess him in every possible way.
Iasked Banerjee again what the secret ingredients were for a bestseller. I was more direct this time; it was infuriating that I did not know yet. Her reply was a tinkling laugh. “I wish I knew,” she said. She gave me the example of one book, Mistakes like Love and Sex, which was all set to become a bestseller, “but since it was about a woman and trying to find her sexuality, and it came out during the whole Nirbhaya incident in Delhi. And everybody, the entire country was talking about rape and here was my book talking about a woman trying to find her sexuality. [She] just clashed with the time it was released, you know what I mean. So if that book was released today I think it would do really well.”
In Banerjee’s book Scandalous Housewives, very real, aching issues are explored. Things that women should be talking about and taking control over. Things like wanting kinky sex or having an affair with one’s brother-in-law, or the woman who decides her life is about herself and not the men in her life, it’s all really very empowering!

OK, so now I knew what not to do. If I wanted a bestseller, I had to make sure that it was released when there were no inconvenient controversies happening, like the Delhi gang rape of 2012, and then I would be halfway there.
But really, there was no secret formula that she could give me. What I gleaned from our little chat is that chasing success, like chasing love, was futile. What mattered was that you did what you did, because you were passionate about it. “[It] is just a changing time that would make your book a bestseller and it has nothing to do with you and your potential…[It’s important to] keep going, to keep on working and hope that [you produce] bestsellers…”
The final words of wisdom Banerjee had for me, were related to a storyline I presented to her, for a movie I would like to make some day, when I have grown enough as a writer, I suppose. It holds enough truth about life to last, well, a lifetime. It was a dialogue she suggested for my female protagonist’s man-hating, potentially bisexual best friend, to be played (hopefully) by Kalki. “Don’t be stupid! Love doesn’t have any pacts,” Kalki says to Deepika when Deepika doesn’t notice Saif’s devotion to her. And perhaps you cannot make a pact with success, either, if writing chick lit is what you love.
“Love. Doesn’t. Have. Any. Pacts.”
http://kindlemag.in/secret-success/

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Chef Vikas Khanna Loving My Clingy Girlfriend

International Acclaimed Masterchef Vikas Khanna tweets this about my new novel
My Clingy Girlfriend
What an awesome fun book by @Madhuribanerjee. Loving it http://t.co/xOcmkoXsph.

My day is made! 
Get your copy here: http://goo.gl/VwPjmN

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

5 Ways to NOT Be a Clingy Girlfriend


Stop Constant Questions – Where are you? When are you coming home? When are we meeting? What are you thinking? What are you planning for our anniversary? When should we meet? Why aren’t we getting married? The constant questions will make your boyfriend run from you faster than a zebra from a lion. Maybe he doesn’t have all the answers. Maybe he needs some space. Give him time to call and chase you a bit. Keep the mystery alive.

Stop Going For His Boys Nights – He has a life beyond you. He has friends he likes to drink with. This is his support system! Stop landing up for his Boys Night Outs to spend time with him. Soon all his friends will hate you and ostracise him. And ultimately he’ll resent you. Give him that one night a week or month off to just enjoy himself and get sloshed, without you giving him grief the next day. He’ll love you more.

Stop Asking About Marriage – Everyone wants to know where the relationship is going as soon as the third date is over. Some men don’t want to get married. It’s not that they’re commitment phobic, it’s just that they enjoy their space and freedom as much as they love you. Think about an alternate life with him if he’s not ready for marriage. Redefine your relationship. And if you truly want to get married and your “biological clock is ticking” set a deadline and move on if he’s still not ready, instead of pushing him into it and regretting it later.

Stop Comparing – Your best friend is getting married, another is going on a Europe tour with her boyfriend and another has been introduced to his parents. Instead of whining, demanding and comparing your relationship to others, realise what you have. Does he love you? Does he listen to you when you talk about your dreams? Does he give you space and support you? Does he look after you when you’re upset? Those are good things in a relationship. Treasure them and cherish him. Don’t demand him doing it all the time. Sometimes he doesn’t have the bandwidth to support, listen or love you. Doesn’t mean he can’t later. Give him time.

Stop Being Suspicious – He liked a girl’s photo on Facebook. He must be cheating on me! He is having a coffee with his old school friend. He’s probably cheating on me! He has a girl on his team at work?! He is definitely cheating on me! Stop getting suspicious. If you’re cool and easy about the girls in his life, he’ll appreciate it. But the more you lock him down about every female he’s spoken to, he’ll hate you. It’s ok to be possessive and a little jealous. Let him know how much you lust after him and hate it when anyone else does so too. By giving him space to make a choice, he’ll never want to leave you.    

For more laughs buy My Clingy Girlfriend here: http://goo.gl/VwPjmN

Monday, April 20, 2015

The Statesman on My Clingy Girlfriend


I'm a commercial fiction author. That means I'll probably never win the Man Booker Prize or a Nobel for a life changing book. But it also means that I'll write about things that everyone can relate to in simple, funny, emotional ways that no other author is able to do. That's my USP. And at the end of the day all I can hope for is that you'll buy my books and love them, without or without them being classics :) 

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Crossword Bestseller List!

Only one week after the launch and My Clingy Girlfriend is already on the Crossword Bestseller List!

It's available in every book store and Amazon and Flipkart too.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

My Clingy Girlfriend Book Launch



What an amazing evening. Feel so blessed to have so many friends who came and supported me. The book is already rising in the best seller charts. Hard work and patience does pay off! 

Saturday, April 4, 2015

My Clingy Girlfriend video!



Culture Machine has taken elements of my new novel My Clingy Girlfriend and made a video about how your girlfriends could be. It's exaggerated, caricatured and hilarious. Not all women are like this but we love all women!

Already gaining momentum online, it's the new Being Indian series that is going viral. With over 19,000 views in the 1st 12 hours of going viral and with over 3 lakh subscriptions, you don't want to miss it.

If you like the video you know you'll love the book too http://goo.gl/VwPjmN

Sunday, March 15, 2015

How to Get Rid of a Clingy Girlfriend

Disclaimer: I wrote this piece in the Feb issue of Maxim magazine in lieu of my latest book launch My Clingy Girlfriend. This blog and the book is not meant to offend anyone or provide unhappiness to any relationship. 

Most men have had a clingy girlfriend. They’re the ones who keep checking who you’re talking to on WhatsApp, they keep asking what you’re thinking, why you don’t give them your Facebook password, when will you get married and what your babies’ names shall be. All within the first month of knowing you. So if you know you need to break up, here are a few tips to do so.

1. Empty Threats – You can’t say we need to break up and the next night sleep with your girlfriend. You can’t give her mixed signals. Then they’re just empty threats that are not going to make her go away at all. You need to say you don’t think this relationship is working out and stick to it. Keep saying that you’ve broken up. Don’t show emotion, don’t care if she cries, don’t say we’ll figure it out. Clingy Girlfriends will use all their power to keep you in their life. Understand she’s first going to try to scare you, control you and then destroy you. You must stay strong!

2. Slob Attack – Women like changing and moulding men. They like to see a man well groomed. So you need to do the opposite. You must not bathe, shave, wear deo or clean any part of you living area. Do not let her “mould” you. When you do bathe, or shave use all of her expensive bath products and make sure she realises they’re over! Then leave your wet towel on the bed and leave the house.

3. Be Sickening! – You’ve been saving your sick leave for a sick day but here is a chance to actually stay at home and show what a pain in the house you can be. If you have a live in girlfriend, get in the way of what she does at home and thoroughly enjoy yourself in your house. Fire the maid. Ask her to clean the dishes. Watch TV the entire day. Play on your X-Box. Talk to your female friends loudly so she can hear. Do it for a few days till she kicks you out. You must have told her you’ve broken up with her before you do this and maintain that you’re single and she’s still staying with you while you do this. Or you’ll be in trouble!

4. Girlfriends Disapproval – Once a woman has told her girlfriends about you and they approve they will always keep pushing her to get back together with you. So you need to un-do this approval. You need to call her friends and start flirting with them. If you meet them you must try to ask them for a date saying now that you’re broken up with Ms. Clingy, you’re free to date her friends. If she is meeting her friends, you should go and barge in on their party and flirt with the friends, make lewd masochist remarks and pick up an order and leave. Let them pay your bill. Women hate that!

5. Family Circus – A clingy girlfriend is smart. She will use the help of your family to get your relationship back on track. If you don’t want your mother, cousin or well-wishing relative to call and say what a beautiful `jodi’ you two make, you need to let them in on it. Let your family know what she’s been doing and why you need to break up. Otherwise they’ll take her side. Ask them for their advice on how to break up. Once they feel they’re helping you no matter what she calls to tell them, they’ll not relent.

6. Off the Beaten Path – Sometimes you need to act strangely and pull away in different ways to make your girlfriend realise she’s not important. Become a “sadhu” for some time. Enrol in philosophical classes, take solo trips to ashrams, and wear loose fitting white clothing. Say phrases like there’s only God in this world and I renounce myself to Him. I shall not have a family life anymore. If she asks what happens to her, you can reply – You’ve found your true calling and it has nothing to do with this materialistic world. However you still need to work to pay the bills.

7. Keep Proof – Clingy girlfriends can use every psychotic trick in the book to keep you in their life. From telling you they’re pregnant with your child to cutting themselves and writing letter to you in their blood. Don’t freak out. Don’t feel guilty and never take the woman back. Instead send her the names of some well-known psychiatrists and take all this proof to a police station to get a restraining order. Keep the police and your family involved and aware of her so that later it won’t surprise you if she takes legal action.

8. Block, Delete – If you can’t move your city to get away from her because truly that’s the best way, you need to change your passwords on your computer, laptop and any social media sites that she may have had access to. For God’s sake don’t change it to her name or date of birth! Unfriend and remove the people common in your life if you have to. So they won’t spy on you. Stop going to the same parties and the same events both of you hung out at. She’ll be there hoping to rekindle the romance. Change the locks if she was a live in. Crash at a friend’s place. Avoid her. Then delete her.

9. Relapse, repeat – It’s ok if you’re single for some time. It’s ok if you’re lonely. You don’t want to go back to the same person again or the same type of person. You need to also do some introspection or actually speak to a counsellor on why this relationship happened and how you don’t make those choices again.

10. Stop Feeling Guilty – She might use phrases like what would your friends think, is this how you treat women? Is this how you’ve been brought up? She’ll use your core values and demean you. Don’t fall for it. You might be a great guy and it’s not your fault you fell in love with a clingy woman. Don’t doubt yourself. Focus on her as the problem and not you. 

If you think this is tongue in cheek, order the book here: http://goo.gl/cct76A   

Reserved for One: A poem

We don't trust enough We don't pour out our hearts  Telling all our secrets, our fears and surrendering to each other. Comple...