5 Ways to NOT Be a Clingy Girlfriend


Stop Constant Questions – Where are you? When are you coming home? When are we meeting? What are you thinking? What are you planning for our anniversary? When should we meet? Why aren’t we getting married? The constant questions will make your boyfriend run from you faster than a zebra from a lion. Maybe he doesn’t have all the answers. Maybe he needs some space. Give him time to call and chase you a bit. Keep the mystery alive.

Stop Going For His Boys Nights – He has a life beyond you. He has friends he likes to drink with. This is his support system! Stop landing up for his Boys Night Outs to spend time with him. Soon all his friends will hate you and ostracise him. And ultimately he’ll resent you. Give him that one night a week or month off to just enjoy himself and get sloshed, without you giving him grief the next day. He’ll love you more.

Stop Asking About Marriage – Everyone wants to know where the relationship is going as soon as the third date is over. Some men don’t want to get married. It’s not that they’re commitment phobic, it’s just that they enjoy their space and freedom as much as they love you. Think about an alternate life with him if he’s not ready for marriage. Redefine your relationship. And if you truly want to get married and your “biological clock is ticking” set a deadline and move on if he’s still not ready, instead of pushing him into it and regretting it later.

Stop Comparing – Your best friend is getting married, another is going on a Europe tour with her boyfriend and another has been introduced to his parents. Instead of whining, demanding and comparing your relationship to others, realise what you have. Does he love you? Does he listen to you when you talk about your dreams? Does he give you space and support you? Does he look after you when you’re upset? Those are good things in a relationship. Treasure them and cherish him. Don’t demand him doing it all the time. Sometimes he doesn’t have the bandwidth to support, listen or love you. Doesn’t mean he can’t later. Give him time.

Stop Being Suspicious – He liked a girl’s photo on Facebook. He must be cheating on me! He is having a coffee with his old school friend. He’s probably cheating on me! He has a girl on his team at work?! He is definitely cheating on me! Stop getting suspicious. If you’re cool and easy about the girls in his life, he’ll appreciate it. But the more you lock him down about every female he’s spoken to, he’ll hate you. It’s ok to be possessive and a little jealous. Let him know how much you lust after him and hate it when anyone else does so too. By giving him space to make a choice, he’ll never want to leave you.    

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Comments

Anonymous said…
Hi, I know what I am about to say may not have any relation to this but I was browsing and thought you could help me with troubles I am currently going through. I've seen your replies to other people and really admired your answers!

Basically, there is me and my best friend. We are such tight/close friends it's unreal. We have been like this for around 5 years. We would go out together, talk to each other on the phone everyday, message each other constantly. We were the type to even give each other advice when it comes to relationships because there were cases when we both used to like other people and we would actually give advice on what to do etc etc we were such good friends. But then came the time when we had to move schools and we both went our seperate ways. Although we would still keep in communication I suddenly started catching feelings for her because I missed not being with her all the time and it really did hit me. It was at this point I began to really like her. I have to admit we haven't been talking as much as we were before. We don't speak everyday etc etc but we do communicate periodically enough.

But the problem was that I decided to not say anything and keep my feelings to myself because I have had experiences similar to this where I've lost other friends by saying I've liked them but it's never been the same ever since and I DONT want this to happen with my best friend. I cannot afford to lose her. I have been having these feelings for about 1-2 years now. But the thing is I don't know if she feels this way towards me. When people look at us they would think that we are going out haha! And then came a day when we met up and she told me a story about how she may be falling for another guy and they have kissed but she doesn't know how she feels about him. I was devestated initially. But I didn't make it noticeable that I was distraught. We talked about it then carried on elsewhere.

But now this event has made me consider even further that I should come forward. I seriously don't know what to do I cannot afford to lose her as a friend I will be absolutely gutted because I'm afraid she would not feel the same way towards me. What should I do? She is a really sensitive person as well so I'm not sure how to put this across.

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