Showing posts from February, 2013

How Men are from Mars and Women From Venus: A regular conversation between a married couple

Woman: I got cramps
Man: Well there's nothing I can do abt it
Woman: I know.
Man: Well then why r u telling me?
Woman: U know. Its just information
Man: That's useless information.
Woman: Well then its just a way of communicating.
Man: This is not communication.
Woman: Apparently
Man: Well what's that supposed to mean?
Woman: Its a fuckin argument.
Man: You started it.
Woman: You're a 5 year old.
Man: Does that mean I'm not getting it tonight?
Silence. Man: So now u don’t want to communicate? Jesus. I just can’t understand women!

Asian Age Love Guru Column: Best Friend & I love the same man

Dear Love Guru, My best friend and I both like the same man. How do we resolve this? Sincerely, Cleo Dear Cleo, Have you asked the man whom he likes? Suppose he picks your friend over you, will you be okay with meeting them as a couple? Who is more important to you? If you think that your heart is correct and you love the man, you must tell him. Do not wait for him to decide. Be honest with your best friend about how you feel about him. If she still doesn’t want to back down and has the same level of feelings, you have to decide whether your friendship is more important or the feelings in your heart. Also, be patient with yourself. Be friends with the man for a while. Get to know him a little. More often than not, you find that feelings of infatuation fade away. Give your friend leeway to meet him as a friend and get to know him too. If after a month or two, you both decide you still like him and he can’t make up his mind, sit down and talk about the future. You might enjoy the dating par…

Violence Against Women: "She deserved it."

“She deserved it,” the man said with venom and took a sip of his drink. His friend looked at him and asked, “How?” The man replied, “She’s been doing everything to rile me up, man. She doesn’t manage a house, she barely looks after the kids, she spends all my money. Then when I ask her anything, she shrugs her shoulders and doesn’t reply. She even denies me sex. Me! Her husband. How can she do that? I married the bitch so I could get sex whenever I wanted. And she says no to me!” “Dude, that’s no way to talk about your wife,” said the friend, “She’s not a toy. She has feelings. If you don’t respect her, love her or pamper her, why would she want to have sex with you? Women are different. They need someone who will talk to them about their day. Not someone who will tell them to drop their clothes when he walks through the door.” The man at the bar began to shout, “I’m an IIT and an IIM graduate. I can get sex anywhere! But I’m not unfaithful. She should respect me! Could she have done b…

Men's Guide to What Women Say:

1.What did you say? – If a woman is within hearing distance from you, she has actually heard what you’ve said but she’s given a chance to either change your tone, or change your words. So do think about what you just said and how it could have pissed her off. The safest bet is to reply, “I have no idea honey. I love you!”
2.Fine – When she’s used that word it is the opposite of fine. It means that you’re really in the dog house for being adamant on a particular subject while arguing with her. When she’s used it with the prefix “I” it means you had better take her out for dinner to figure out what is troubling her since she’s not fine.
3.Where is this relationship going? – It actually means she wants to get married or get a commitment from you. You need to have a conversation with her about what you both want. If there’s no future with her, now is the time to tell her. If you keep her hanging on for more time, she will soon turn into King Kong and devour your happiness.
4.I don’t want t…

Love in Delhi: A True Story

2003. 7:30pm. LSR. “Shit!” says Zoya as Ram smiles. “I’m going to miss the curfew time and I haven’t even taken a night out slip.” Ram rushes through the traffic and reaches outside the LSR gates that are about to shut. “What kind of an institution wants the girls to come back at 7:30? It’s cruel.” Zoya doesn’t care. If she doesn’t get in, she will have a lot of explaining to do to her strict aunt who has heard rumours of Zoya dating a Hindu boy but hasn’t confronted Zoya yet. If she got to know, Zoya wouldn’t hear the end of it. “One last kiss,” Ram pleads. Zoya pecks him on the cheek and rushes towards the doors. The guard has been bribed well by Ram, an industrialist’s son and lets Zoya in even though the clock says she’s ten minutes late. Zoya flips her hair and looks back at the Honda City across the road. She smiles. Ram’s heart melts. They had been dating since first year college. They met through some common friends and had been keeping their relationship a secret from the par…

The Hindu: “I am not writing to be different, I write books because I am different.”

The bold and the brazen

Madhuri Banerjee in Bangalore. Photo : K . Bhagya Prakash Madhuri Banerjee on how a woman’s sexuality is inextricably linked to her identity
Her amber eyes sparkle, her curly hair bounces, there is a charming lilt in her voice as she speaks. She certainly is one of the most effervescent people I’ve ever met so I’m rather bemused when she lowers her voice and confesses, “I’m actually a recluse, you know. I don’t party at all — in fact I get intimidated by large gatherings of people.” Yet the shyness doesn’t stop Madhuri Banerjee from writing books that explore female sexuality and offer descriptions of the act, in no uncertain terms. “In a society in which sex is taboo, I want to emphasize that every woman has needs and desires and enjoys making love and there is nothing wrong with it,” says Madhuri who was recently in Bangalore to promote her second book. And both Losing My Virginity and Mistakes like Love and Sex, the first two books of her tri…

Men's Health Magazine: Stop Judging Women!

I was asked by Men's Health magazine to write a short article about things that men should know about women. So I gave it a new twist.
Here's what the fine print says:

Indian patriarchy runs deep. It’s difficult to fight it. In fact I don’t blame the men. It’s not their fault. They don’t know better. They have seen Bollywood films where wooing means a man pursues until she gives in. They’ve seen their fathers not lift a finger in the kitchen. They’ve seen their sisters married off early so they wouldn’t be a burden. So when a woman comes along who doesn’t want to get married, or wants the husband to manage housework equally, or a woman who knows what she wants in bed and a woman who isn’t afraid of screaming back at a man who whistles, men don’t know what to say!

Dear Men, please don’t judge women when we want to work and not sit at home to raise your children. Don’t assume we are not as ambitious as you. Give us a chance to do something more and respect our choice to sit at …

Asian Age Column: Love Guru - Husband travels & my work suffers.

Dear Love Guru,
My husband travels frequently and it’s difficult for me to find a job wherever we go. I don’t know if I should stay in one place with a job or move with him. Pl advise. Sincerely,
Dear Kiara It’s difficult to find a balance between a career and a marriage for every woman but it’s far more difficult if you’re constantly on the move. If it’s the early stages of your marriage and you’ve taken a sabbatical from your job, then do travel with your husband to set a good foundation with him. If you’re in a fabulous job with a great support system at a particular place, stay in your job and figure out how to manage visits frequently. Ask for more flexi timings to work from your husband’s place as well. If you do decide to stay with your husband and give up your job, find an alternate career that doesn’t require regular office hours – writing, painting, cooking, interior design, teaching, architecture, law, etc that you can easily find people willing to pay for your services an…

DNA Bangalore: Mistakes Like Love And Sex & why the chick lit label should die!

How do you respond to the implication from literary snobs that chick-lit label must be poorly written as your books aren't so? It’s actually very sad that people classify books and then they dismiss them. When I wrote my book I didn’t think it would be a chick lit. But people immediately presumed it would be so because it had a female protagonist. Then they said “oh it will be like any other book” without even reading it. But Losing My Virginity And Other Dumb Ideas went on to sell 50,000 copies and Mistakes Like Love And Sex has already sold 20,000 copies. Still people won’t invite me to Literature festivals as my books are not “literary.” I’m trying to bring about different layers in my books – a sexually repressed society, a search for identity, a need for economic independence, empowering women about their bodies, strife in domestic households between an old era and a new age. If I put all that on the back cover, change the cover to an abstract painting and use a title like “wh…