I was asked by Men's Health magazine to write a short article about things that men should know about women. So I gave it a new twist.
Here's what the fine print says:
Indian patriarchy runs deep. It’s difficult to fight it. In fact I don’t blame the men. It’s not their fault. They don’t know better. They have seen Bollywood films where wooing means a man pursues until she gives in. They’ve seen their fathers not lift a finger in the kitchen. They’ve seen their sisters married off early so they wouldn’t be a burden. So when a woman comes along who doesn’t want to get married, or wants the husband to manage housework equally, or a woman who knows what she wants in bed and a woman who isn’t afraid of screaming back at a man who whistles, men don’t know what to say!
Dear Men, please don’t judge women when we want to work and not sit at home to raise your children. Don’t assume we are not as ambitious as you. Give us a chance to do something more and respect our choice to sit at home as well. Don’t presume that you should earn respect and order us around just because you provide for us. You will get respect only if you nurture us as well.
Please don’t think we’re “fast”, “loose” or “aggressive” and need to be tamed if we know what we want in bed, life and from you. You are free to admire us and pay us a compliment but not ogle, whistle or pass a comment from the side of the road. Do not think that just because we have an opinion on matters, we need to be taught a lesson and told to keep quiet at parties. Do not think that just because we are wearing something that might entice you, we really want to. Don’t judge us if we like to drink. Getting tipsy on alcohol doesn’t mean we are inviting you to take advantage of us. Just because we love dancing doesn’t mean we are nautch girls. You don’t need to grind with us.
As partners, we expect a little compassion and help in daily domesticity. We’re not asking you to take the role of a maid, but helping out in the house, as a parent and giving us our time alone helps in a relationship. Work hard for us, as we work hard for you. Let us live in a mutual admiration society from now on!
Here's what the fine print says:
Indian patriarchy runs deep. It’s difficult to fight it. In fact I don’t blame the men. It’s not their fault. They don’t know better. They have seen Bollywood films where wooing means a man pursues until she gives in. They’ve seen their fathers not lift a finger in the kitchen. They’ve seen their sisters married off early so they wouldn’t be a burden. So when a woman comes along who doesn’t want to get married, or wants the husband to manage housework equally, or a woman who knows what she wants in bed and a woman who isn’t afraid of screaming back at a man who whistles, men don’t know what to say!
Dear Men, please don’t judge women when we want to work and not sit at home to raise your children. Don’t assume we are not as ambitious as you. Give us a chance to do something more and respect our choice to sit at home as well. Don’t presume that you should earn respect and order us around just because you provide for us. You will get respect only if you nurture us as well.
Please don’t think we’re “fast”, “loose” or “aggressive” and need to be tamed if we know what we want in bed, life and from you. You are free to admire us and pay us a compliment but not ogle, whistle or pass a comment from the side of the road. Do not think that just because we have an opinion on matters, we need to be taught a lesson and told to keep quiet at parties. Do not think that just because we are wearing something that might entice you, we really want to. Don’t judge us if we like to drink. Getting tipsy on alcohol doesn’t mean we are inviting you to take advantage of us. Just because we love dancing doesn’t mean we are nautch girls. You don’t need to grind with us.
As partners, we expect a little compassion and help in daily domesticity. We’re not asking you to take the role of a maid, but helping out in the house, as a parent and giving us our time alone helps in a relationship. Work hard for us, as we work hard for you. Let us live in a mutual admiration society from now on!
5 comments:
Wat a post.... Simply amazing, i dnt know how many mens gonna like this post.. bt for me... awesome. love d way u write. waiting for ur next book, as i hav already finised ur both books and that to 1st one 3 times :D.
if there is some way to get your signed book plz do let me knw.. m huge fan of urs... keep rocking...!! and keep posting as this is also my daily routine to read "MADHURI BANEEEERJEE"
love- Supriti (A slient reader and A bold follower of yours )
Supriti,
Thank you so much.
I wanted a different title for my post but I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Please don't be a silent commentator. Would love to hear more from you on posts or your thoughts.
Be bold always!
Love
Madhuri
Hello Madhuri Mam;
Woooooowww..!! U made my day. thanx for replying. Sure i will try to be "BOLD". And as i requested u to post ur Kolkata's 92.7 Big FM audio at FB... :)plz try to post at ur blog..!! As a fan that to bengali surly would love to listen ur "FATAFATI" bengali too... :)
Once again Thanx.. :) :) :)
Love- Supriti
Such a fantastic post. I love reading your blog. I feel like that sometimes. What is so wrong with helping in the house? Even if you come home from a long day at work, why does your hard work stop when your wife is still slaving around the house?
But not just the housework thing but the outside of the house comments as well. Why is the mentality that everything a woman does is for a man's attention: her clothes, her behaviour and her words?
Thanks Naina.
Yes I agree. Men should partake in household activites as well.
Post a Comment