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Showing posts from 2010

Fat, Fit, Lipo and Cellulite: A woman’s angst with her body.

No woman is happy with her body. No one. Not even the ones who say they are. They always think they can either take off a little from here and there or put on a little from here and there. But no one actually believes in their heart of hearts that they’re “perfect”. No, not even the Victoria’s Secret models. And here’s where my problem lies. It’s because of those little V models that the rest of us are having angst. They’re putting those types on covers of magazines and we’re all buying those magazines and wishing we were different.
My story starts 25 years ago. It was one day when I lost the 4th grade spelling bee and my teacher took me out for some ice-cream. When I came back home, my mother gave me some chocolate cake. And that evening my father supported me by getting me some gulab jamuns. All wonderful people. With a lot of “support”. That support translated into me reaching for that brownie every time I failed at something in life. And failure is and always will be a part of life…

How to Get Over a Break Up

First of all I think the hardest thing in the world is to have a relationship. To get into it, to maintain it and then to realize that you have invested all your energies and time and years into something that you now feel is not going anywhere. Never mind that you don’t know where it should be going. You know that it is the end. So it’s time. It’s time to let go and break up. You’ve said those angry words, you’ve said the goodbyes and slammed down the phone. You’ve had the teary farewell. Now what? Let’s list them out.
1.Move. Really. If you can’t move countries, move cities. Ok you can’t move because your work is there, go stay somewhere where you feel pampered. Rent out a hotel room for a few nights and live luxuriously…and don’t call your ex and try to get them to visit. 2.Travel. Take a vacation. Not just for 1 day but for a whole week and weekend. Go preferably far away from everything that reminds you of that person. Somewhere where neither of you ever wanted to go… so you do it…

Unhealed

My broken heart is not going to heal Let it be This pain is not going to go away Let it be. I don’t need that pastry I don’t want that sympathy All I want is to Let it be.
I know all the reasoning I know all the things I’m supposed to feel I’ve read all the books that tell me Time will make it heal… But for now, all I want is to Let it be.
I don’t want to move on I don’t want to linger back I want to hold on But I know the truth. Nothing is going to change Nothing is going to improve So for now, all I want is to Let it be.
I’ve tried and tried To fight all the negativity I’ve prayed and prayed For all that strength I’ve wished and wished For life to be better And I know I have to just Let it be.
It’s a done deal We know in our heart of hearts It’s sad but a true thing That our lives are drifting apart I can’t say any more There’s already so much said So all we can hope for..is to Let it be.
I promise you this I will always love you I promise you this You can count on me I’m not the best at goodbyes. I’m not good at all So …

Love

My name is Love.
And I’m here to clear some misconceptions about me. I know I haven’t spoken for myself ever before but I think the time has come for me to stand up for myself. You see, people have said my name countless times in their lives without really understanding me.
Let me start by saying, I’m old. I’m over a zillion hundred years old. I was conceived not when Adam bit the apple, but when the Universe was born. I was along with my twin brother Truth. And I have molded myself to be a speck in each and every living organism.. be it plant, animal or human.
So yes I age.
When you were 2 years old, I was there as your mother. When you were 10, I was there as your crush. And through the years I have danced at the parties, I’ve been the one who has gone on those long drives, those holidays with family, and the occasions you remember fondly. Because when you remember me, you will remember me fondly. I was not there when you had those fights, when you hurt yourself and when you were in do…

50 Random Things about Me

Question #1: Are you a morning or night person?Night Question #2: Which do you prefer, sweet or salty foods?Sweet. Chocolate anything. Question #3: Ninjas or pirates?Pirates Question #4: Ninjas vs pirates, discuss.Johnny Depp. Question #5: Autobots or Decepticons?What? Question #6: What was your favorite childhood television program?The Wonder Years Question #7: Are you a collector of anything?Adipose tissue Question #8: If you could be any animal, what would you be?A bird to shit on ppl and fly away :) Question #9: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?To change space time continuum like Hiro! Question #10: What is usually your first thought when you wake up?Kissing my child. Question #11: What do you usually think about right before falling asleep?The book I'm reading Question #12: What's your favorite color?Red. Question #13: What's your favorite animal?Tiger Question #14: Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?Extraterrestrails on this planet yes. …

A husband’s plea to his wife

Dear Wifey,
Let me start by saying, I love you. I really do. And even though it’s been a while.. ok years that I’ve said it, I mean it. Most of the times. Ok sometimes. Which is why I want you to understand and know a few things about our marriage and me. I think somewhere we’ve forgotten about that - me and us. So let me remind you. 1.I never want to talk about us. I really don’t. It’s all in your head. Please sort out whatever issues you have about our romance or what we shd be doing and where we shd go. I’m fine as we are. 2.Please do not do the dishes. Please don’t over work yourself when the bai is not there. Seriously. I’m not just saying that so you will be more rested, it’s because I don’t want to do the work. I think we both know that once you start working, you’ll expect me to “pitch in” and I really don’t want to. Just wait till she gets back. And we’re not going to die with dust or dirty dishes piling up. And btw - I earn so I can keep a maid, not to be one. 3.I might not al…

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This blog is not supposed to impress, inspire, inform, encourage, or promote anything. This blog is not meant to make you laugh, cry or any of the other emotions that we all freely have nowdays and really shouldn't be flaunting in public. However, if it does, the onus is completely on you to take what you want from it. Please don't criticize it. No one likes criticism, constructive or otherwise. This blog may contain inappropriate language so children should be warned to get an approval from their parents to read it. If however your parents are not around, don't tell them. This blog may contain words in English, Hindi, Hinglish, Bengali, Marathi, Spanish and any other dialects if it makes sense to me. Even if it doesn't make sense, it might be there. This blog will contain enormous amounts of cribbing, questioning, slandering, swearing, loving, orgasming, hating and other ings on many subjects. Please feel free to add wherever you feel necessary. Pictures will only be …