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Showing posts from April, 2012

Love Guru Advice: Lusting After Best Friend's Boyfriend

Dear Love Guru,
I’m attracted to my best friend’s boyfriend. And I think he’s attracted to me. Whenever we all go out, he gives me these slide glances and flirts with me. He’s tried to talk to me on the phone a few times but I’ve pretended to be busy. I’ve never felt like this for anyone. What should I do? Sinful,
Meghna

Dear Meghna The forbidden fruit always seems to be the most tempting and is proven to be the most bitter. Don’t go down a road where you will hurt your friend and make you feel lousy. It seems that he’s still trying to explore his options while being with your friend. He might do the same when he’s with you! If he breaks his relationship with your friend because his feelings aren’t strong enough for her and then asks you out, you can think about going out with him. But this can only be done after you’ve checked with your friend if it’s ok and she won’t be hurt by it. It’s a long winding road but it’s one that will keep everyone happy. Until they break up and she’s healed, …

Love Guru Advice: Intimacy After Kids

Dear Love Guru,
I’ve been married for five years and after our child was born, our sex life has gone down the drain. Our child sleeps between us at night and I am exhausted looking after him during the day. My husband grumbles that he is forced into celibacy. How can I change this?
Sincerely,
Samira

Dear Samira,
Indian families suffer from “the child in bed” syndrome for many years. When you can finally kick the first child out to his own room, another child occupies his space in the bed. There are two ways to rectify this. First, make time for your husband. Leave your child in the good care of a grandparent, maid, neighbour (who you can give presents to later), creche, etc and have a lovely dinner date with your husband. Do not bring up any topic about your child. It kills the mood. After this, try and find time for intimacy at home, a hotel, or a friend’s place that is empty. Yes, sex is important in a marriage. Don’t think it’s just great communication. You must not feel guilty …

My tough realisation about weight loss, diet and being thin!

I weigh myself every day in the hope that I've lost weight. But I do nothing to make that happen. The prayers obviously aren't working. The occassional cribbing, starving and mad exercising make it just yo-yo. I need to lose weight seriously. Vacation or no vacation, things need to start now! I'm spilling what I need to do. I hope it helps others too.

1.Eat less than my BMR. My BMR is 1400. Therefore, I need to eat fewer calories than that to lose weight. Simple. Figure out how many calories that should be in a day. 3500 calories is 1 pound. 2.2 pounds is 1 kilo. That’s a lot. Be aware of it. Always.
2.Curb cravings. Yes, I know the sugar craving is bad. But chew gum. Immediately brush your teeth after food. Or have a little saunf. Yes, I need to deny myself that sugar lunge. No, it will not make me feel good. It does nothing more for my body.
3.No alcohol – Alcohol dehydrates. Stop acting cool. You don’t like it. You don’t need it. Remove it completely until you reach ta…

Interview for Okiedoks Foundation on Writing, Emerging India and Social Networking!

Welcome to the Part II of our interview with Madhuri Banerjee. And this one has turned out better than the first, in terms of learning. The link to the first part of her interview is here. Some of Madhuri’s gems: “Everyone has a story to tell. Many can write it. A few get published. Some make it to the best seller list. And one or two become uber popular.” “We underestimate the younger generation. If we listen to their voices, we'll learn far more than our experience tells us.” “Always believe in yourself. `Cos if you don’t, why should anyone else?” Team Okiedoks wishes all the happiness in the world to Madhuri. Let’s get to know the other side of hers... If you get a chance to dine with a writer you look upto, who would it be and why? I would have loved to dine with Erma Bombeck. She made the “family” a source of international humour. I’m sure she would have been a laugh riot throughout dinner and I would have learned how to write and look at life with more wit! And the second would be…

The Hindu - Losing My Virginity And Other Dumb Ideas is more than a chick lit

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The true-blue romanticSRAVASTI DATTA
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Share Getting it spot on Madhuri Banerjee Photo: Sampath Kumar G.P. Madhuri Banerjee's Losing My Virginity and Other Dumb Ideas is about finding the one true love — yourself A title like “Losing my Virginity and Other Dumb Ideas” might lead one to certain conclusions. But the adage “never judge a book by its cover”— or its title, in this case — ought to be applied here. For Madhuri Banerjee's debut novel may be categorised into chick-lit, but it really goes way beyond that. “The book isn't about losing your virginity, but about understanding who you are.” Madhuri describes herself as a “non-judgem…

Love Guru Advice: To Wait or Not to Wait

Dear Love Guru,
I am in love with a man but he says he can’t be in love with me just yet. He has been in a bad relationship and needs time to get over it. I wonder how much time? Should I wait for him and help him through this difficult period of his? Waiting Patiently, Dolores
Dear Dolores, It seems as if this man is playing teen patti with his cards very close to his heart. He doesn’t want to do a “show” and have you walk away just yet. He might actually have been in a bad relationship and he is guessing that he might have a bad one with you as well. But you know what, that’s his baggage. You need to tell him that you will give him two weeks of alone time to figure out his old relationship and then come to you. After two weeks are over, you will stop waiting for him. That’s enough time for him to get over his past and learn from his mistakes. It puts you in the driver’s seat since he knows you are serious about taking this relationship forward. Moreover, that you won’t be taken for grant…