Love Guru Advice: To Wait or Not to Wait

Dear Love Guru,

I am in love with a man but he says he can’t be in love with me just yet. He has been in a bad relationship and needs time to get over it. I wonder how much time? Should I wait for him and help him through this difficult period of his?

Waiting Patiently,

Dolores

Dear Dolores,

It seems as if this man is playing teen patti with his cards very close to his heart. He doesn’t want to do a “show” and have you walk away just yet. He might actually have been in a bad relationship and he is guessing that he might have a bad one with you as well. But you know what, that’s his baggage. You need to tell him that you will give him two weeks of alone time to figure out his old relationship and then come to you. After two weeks are over, you will stop waiting for him. That’s enough time for him to get over his past and learn from his mistakes. It puts you in the driver’s seat since he knows you are serious about taking this relationship forward. Moreover, that you won’t be taken for granted but still have a soft spot for him. Remind him you’re not asking for a marriage. You just want a strong, stable man who can commit to being there for now. Later as things progress, you can move to another step. Speak to him face to face about this. Remember you don’t want a shadow of another person in the relationship. Play your cards too.

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/channels/lifestyle/relationship/%E2%80%98should-i-wait-him%E2%80%99-730
Released in Asian Age/ Deccan Chronicle on April 2nd 2012 as the regular Love Guru column.