Showing posts from December, 2012

Asian Age Column: Husband wants to party while I like sitting at home

Dear Love Guru,

My husband wants to go out and party on New Year’s while I want to stay at home. This is the case on most days. He’s a party animal and I’m a homely person. How do we resolve the conflict?



Dear Swati,

Each individual is having a different mood this New Year’s Eve. Some want to celebrate life and enjoy the year that has been tough for them while others want to be quiet and reflect. Do what your heart wants. Let him go out, meet his friends, and have a good time. Don’t deny him that. But tell him that for tonight, you need to reflect on something larger. The mood of the nation is somber. And you sympathize with a larger issue at stake. While you understand that he can’t reflect with you or be in the same space as you, it’s okay for both of you to do different things occasionally. In the coming year, attend parties that you both decide on beforehand that are important to you. If you don’t want to go for all, tell him you’d rather spend time with him than in a …

How to Prevent a Potential Rape: 24 steps - wikiHow

Open Letter to Justice Verma: 10 Point Plan to Keep Women Safe

Dear Justice Verma,

The outrage will not stop until steps are taken. The politicians have failed. The Justice System of India needs to take charge. Here are a few things you can promise the citizens of India. Do so now.  The revolution has begun.
10 Point Plan to Keep Women Safe:
1.Sensitize the Police – When a rape victim comes to the police station, have a female counselor sit with her alone to record the sequence of events. The officer should not rush the victim or ask details before she has finished. Make a list of relevant questions that can be asked after she finishes speaking. Offer the victim support, food, a shawl to cover herself. Send the recorded statement to the male police officers immediately to arrest the named if any. Keep a female officer with her that night at the hospital. Offer her the best care.
2.Non Bailable Offence - Keep the man for a week before he can apply for bail. For all other sexual offenders – even for whistling, groping and leering, make it a severe act…

Change My Nation Today

The awakening of this nation can last only a few more days if it doesn’t permeate into every soul. Everyone will go back to work in the New Year and we’ll continue to have rapes, sexual assaults and suffer undignified comments. India has become one of the most unsafe nations in the world. This is not good for the citizens, it’s not good for tourism, it’s not good for the future generation. It needs to change now. The government of India does not seem to be doing anything productive unless the country revolts against it. Corruption, price rise and now a gang rape. And while we are all mourning the death of the 23 year old medical student, rapes continue across the country – the two year old by her uncle, the 17 year old by 10 men for 7 days. It goes on. It needs to change. We need to change it. I promise to sign every petition that will make sure the government hears our voice. I vow to fight to keep this movement alive. I swear to vote for the correct people and not give up on our lea…

Gender Decorum Has to Be taught in School: My Interview with IANS


0 New Delhi: As a 23-year-old brutalised and gangraped victim fights for her life in the capital, novelist, columnist and award-winning documentary filmmaker Madhuri Banerjee ascribes the rise in gender crime in India to the bias against the girl child and says "gender decorum" and respect for women should be inculcated in boys at the school level.

She says as a woman, one needs to be far more sensitive to sexual repression - and stand up for a cause.

"Or else, some day, my four-and-a-half-year-old daughter will question me: `Mama what did you do when the nation was fighting for this girl in the national capital,`" Banerjee told IANS in an interview.

The Mumbai-based writer, who was in the capital to launch her new romantic fiction, `Mistakes Like Love and Sex` (Penguin-India), cancelled the launch of her book on Friday and television interviews to express her solidarity with the victim.

"It is a gender crime that has touched everyone in the country,"…

Asian Age Love Guru Column: Not attracted to my husband

Dear Love Guru, My husband has put on so much weight that I am not attracted to him anymore. He doesn’t care about his body and our sex life has deteriorated. What should I do? Sincerely,
Amrita Dear Amrita,
You need to get to the root of why he has let himself go. Is he looking after the kids while managing a career? Is he over worked at office? Is he depressed about something? One evening take some time out and cook his favourite meal or take him out and ask him how you can help him get back into shape. Ask him if he wants to join a gym that you can sponsor for three months. Alternatively, you can take over his time at home with kids while he goes to play a sport. If you nudge him to look after his body, he will make an effort. Do not stock junk food at home. Try to cook healthy meals and packs lunches for him to take. Be sure to let him eat some special treats occasionally. Maybe you can go for a walk together instead of him doing it alone. It’s important to just keep the chemistry on i…

Interview in iDiva : From National Award to Mistakes Like Love And Sex

Madhuri Banerjee With a background in documentary filmmaking, National Award winner and supermom Madhuri Banerjee proves to be the perfect multitasker as she turns author with her debut novel Losing My Virginity and Other Dumb Ideas.

She’s an author, ad film director and a relationship counsellor to those who write to her after reading her weekly columns in popular publications. Madhuri Banerjee, who won a National Award for her thesis film in college titled Between Dualities, talks about her latest book and success story with

Sumitra Nair, Team iDiva How did you decide to be an author?
Madhuri Banerjee I’ve been composing poems since I was nine. I wrote a full-fledged book about three girls when I was 12. So, writing has always come naturally to me! I wrote a diary daily for 25 years. If I don’t write, I feel incomplete. Writing a book was a natural progression of storytelling, so I used to write short stories and incidents about my day. In this case, I just increased t…

India Today Sexposition Nov 2012 : A Memorable Evening

I was invited to speak at the India Today Sexposition two weeks ago. It was held on November 29th at Blue Frog in Delhi.
I was maha excited. This was India Today. And such a prestigious event that was held annually where the who's who of India came. I went to many stores in Mumbai before I left to pick up a decent dress, shoes, jewellery, purse. All the things that I thought I needed to fit in and had never got before.
So I wanted to look a little prettier than usual and went to the parlour to get my makeup and hair done and then go directly to the venue from there.
So when I got ready, I asked them where all my things were and they said it wasn't there.
"Where is it?" i asked my voice breaking into tears.
The manager replied nonchalantly, "Someone must have taken it."
By then it was time for me to go to the venue where I was speaking on the podium about City Life And Sex.
I could hardly think of anything to do with love or sex when all I was worried abo…

Asian Age Column: Mil asking me to wear traditional clothes!

Dear Love Guru,
I live with my in laws and they always want me to dress in salwar kameezes. I’m a modern woman. I want to dress in western clothes but they just don’t like it. What do I do? Yours, Trisha
Dear Trisha, Clothes do not make a person. A good nature does. If your in laws love you and support you in everything you do, wouldn’t it just be easier to keep the peace in the family by wearing what they want you to? Alternatively, when you go out with your husband, you can wear what you like. If it’s for family functions go shopping with your mother in law and come to a common conclusion on the outfits you need to wear. If none of this works, wear the salwar kameez when you leave the house but change for those few hours when you’re out with friends. Just remember, if you are caught you’ll have a lot of answering to do. Also, communicate with your husband on what you want to wear and why they are not letting you do so. Is it because they do not want people talking ill about your reputati…

The Viewspaper : My Letter to The Prime Minister

On 2nd December 2012, The Viewspaper was organizing the PMji Samjhoji! Letter-a-thon - The day India will write to its Prime Minister.
Eminent journalists like Madhu Trehan (Founding Editor, India Today), Sonia Singh (Editorial Director, NDTV), activists like Abhinandan Sekhri (Core Member, India Against Corruption) were asked to contribute along with me.
Here is my contribution that was published.

Dear Prime Minister, I was 12 when we moved from Boston, USA to Lucknow, Uttar Pradesh. It was a huge culture shock for me. I had been living with my family in the States for over five years and I could do what I pleased there. I went to a co-ed school. We went out in groups for movies and lunches. When Madonna burst on the scene, I wore short skirts and tights. I used to go alone to the market to buy groceries for the family. I interacted with old men who were cashiers to young boys who picked things from the top …