Monday, December 31, 2012

Asian Age Column: Husband wants to party while I like sitting at home

Dear Love Guru,

My husband wants to go out and party on New Year’s while I want to stay at home. This is the case on most days. He’s a party animal and I’m a homely person. How do we resolve the conflict?



Dear Swati,

Each individual is having a different mood this New Year’s Eve. Some want to celebrate life and enjoy the year that has been tough for them while others want to be quiet and reflect. Do what your heart wants. Let him go out, meet his friends, and have a good time. Don’t deny him that. But tell him that for tonight, you need to reflect on something larger. The mood of the nation is somber. And you sympathize with a larger issue at stake. While you understand that he can’t reflect with you or be in the same space as you, it’s okay for both of you to do different things occasionally. In the coming year, attend parties that you both decide on beforehand that are important to you. If you don’t want to go for all, tell him you’d rather spend time with him than in a big group. Also remember that we’ve been given this life for three things: to work hard, to love deeply and to stand up for someone else, a larger cause that can change humanity. Find the balance to do all and you’ll be successful. Find the strength to accept your husband for wanting different things. But be strong enough to know that you can be different and still together.

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