Monday, December 3, 2012

Asian Age Column: Mil asking me to wear traditional clothes!

Dear Love Guru,
I live with my in laws and they always want me to dress in salwar kameezes. I’m a modern woman. I want to dress in western clothes but they just don’t like it. What do I do?

Dear Trisha,
Clothes do not make a person. A good nature does. If your in laws love you and support you in everything you do, wouldn’t it just be easier to keep the peace in the family by wearing what they want you to? Alternatively, when you go out with your husband, you can wear what you like. If it’s for family functions go shopping with your mother in law and come to a common conclusion on the outfits you need to wear. If none of this works, wear the salwar kameez when you leave the house but change for those few hours when you’re out with friends. Just remember, if you are caught you’ll have a lot of answering to do. Also, communicate with your husband on what you want to wear and why they are not letting you do so. Is it because they do not want people talking ill about your reputation and character? Or they are scared that you might attract unwanted attention? Let them know that you are strong and independent and can handle yourself in such situations. Moreover, if you live in a very conservative family, I’d just like to say you knew what you were getting into. Why not try to adapt to their wishes sometimes. After all, marriage is about compromise.


Harshita Srivastava said...

Why even get into a relationship when it's all about compromises?
Isn't being single better then?

Madhuri Banerjee said...

I think that some souls are meant to be connected. We need another person who uplifts us. While there are other souls who enjoy solitude much more than company. So it's an individual choice.
But not getting into a relationship because of the compromises you need to make is wrong. Don't you make adjustments when you live in a joint family? Don't you make compromises at work with colleagues and bosses? Room for improvement is the biggest room in your life. And love is the greatest feeling ever. Don't close yourself to it.


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