My tough realisation about weight loss, diet and being thin!

I weigh myself every day in the hope that I've lost weight. But I do nothing to make that happen. The prayers obviously aren't working. The occassional cribbing, starving and mad exercising make it just yo-yo. I need to lose weight seriously. Vacation or no vacation, things need to start now! I'm spilling what I need to do. I hope it helps others too.

1.       Eat less than my BMR. My BMR is 1400. Therefore, I need to eat fewer calories than that to lose weight. Simple. Figure out how many calories that should be in a day. 3500 calories is 1 pound. 2.2 pounds is 1 kilo. That’s a lot. Be aware of it. Always.

2.       Curb cravings. Yes, I know the sugar craving is bad. But chew gum. Immediately brush your teeth after food. Or have a little saunf. Yes, I need to deny myself that sugar lunge. No, it will not make me feel good. It does nothing more for my body.

3.       No alcohol – Alcohol dehydrates. Stop acting cool. You don’t like it. You don’t need it. Remove it completely until you reach target weight.

4.       Colas – diet colas even though` diets’ are causing the skin to go bad. They are a bad sugar substitute. Don’t have juice to compensate either. That’s again sugar and unhealthy. Have water. Your body doesn’t know the difference between liquids. Your body is made up of water not juice or diet cola. Do not try and substitute the 70% with it. Ok?

5.       Emotions – curbing emotions. Anger, irritation, stress, hard day. All these things that make you think you’re deserve to eat better. You don’t need it. You need a long bath, some distraction on tv, a good book, and maybe even a nice conversation before you reach for that fatty thing. That bad thing about your day is not going to go away with you eating butter chicken with a chocolate cake to follow. Your ass is going to look huge and that’ll just add to the problem.

6.       Figure out meals – what you need to eat next is more important than what you’re eating now. In 2 and a half hours where will you be and what can you carry to eat healthy. Don’t expect to think abt it then. Carry 2 things with you. A fruit and a multigrain sandwich with cucumbers and tomatoes shd do it. Figure out those two things everyday. So besides your breakfast at home, lunch of roti and sabzi and your dinner at home, you have 2 things that can control you reaching for that roll or bhel on the side of the road when you’re ravenous.

7.       Walk for 45 minutes every day. Not just a vigorous zumba 3 times a week. EVERY FRICKIN DAY. 7 DAYS A WEEK. Don’t pretend you can jog. Just walk for now.

8.       No seconds – eat on a small plate and only take food once. Your don’t need to eat that much more if you’re eating every 2 and a half hours.

9.       Don’t finish leftovers – You don’t like to waste food. Child not eating so you might as well finish it, is not a good idea. Things left in the fridge that will go bad shd be finished, is also a bad idea. Give it away, throw it away. Make smaller quantities next time. You spend thousands on going out and eating at a restaurant but you won’t throw away the rajma that you got for hundred rupees and will eat it, adding calories uselessly? Eat what YOU need to. Not what you HAVE to.

10.   No indulgence – They say you can indulge once in a while except that once in a while becomes today. And that today extends to tomorrow and the weekend and a birthday celebration and an office party and old reunion. Don’t indulge. Become anti social for two months till you lose the 5 kilos and then allow yourself to meet a few people once a month. If you need to go out, sip on soda, nimbu paani and keep your mouth shut. Make conversation instead.

11.   Palate Problem – Your mind wants you to eat tasty things. Your palate is ruling your life. It’s mocking you. Don’t let your tongue be the most important part of your body. It’s laughing at your thighs teasing it with how it’s making them fat! Your body breaks down things anyway. And it stays on your tongue for exactly 30 seconds. Those 30 seconds have become the curse that you want to get rid of. Don’t let it control you!

12.   Mass vs. luxury – Write down all the luxury foods you want to have once you get out of the diet. You will realize that you can have them whenever you want. They’re not going anywhere. And most things if you remember eating them, you don’t need your body to have them again. You already know what it tastes like. It was good while it lasted. Now we need to move on. Treat it like a good relationship you had with someone in college. You needed to love on from that person, just like you need to move on from that food. A luxury food item can be had if it’s most desired, never had and cannot be got easily. And after trying it with 3 bites, you’re done. You don’t need it anymore.

13.   Coffee is not food – Black coffee to kill appetite doesn’t help. Neither does compensating a vanilla latte for lunch. If you have to meet someone for a coffee, have an Americano with no flavours and skim milk. Do not have a cappuccino that gives full fat milk. That’s 300 calories and then you’ll want lunch after that. Coffee dates can be done without the extra bits of flavours, muffins and cookies. Stick to coffee. Be careful what else you’re eating.

14.   Don’t think that just cos you’re tired your body has lost weight. If you haven’t exercised, you haven’t lost anything. And then you’ll go wanting something fatty to make u feel better from being stuck in traffic all day or managing your hyperactive child. Not done. You need to exercise. And you need to cut down. Even if you can’t go to the gym, or go for a class, you can still walk for 45 minutes straight around the roads or in your building, or even swim. If you couldn’t go in the morning, go in the evening. If you’re hungry and have had dinner, go post dinner. If you’ve had breakfast, go right before lunch. Stop making excuses. You’re not that tired. You’re still awake.

15.   It’s ok to be hungry at night. Even if you’ve had your meal by 8, which you should, and you’re up until late night, it’s ok to be hungry. If you just can’t sleep on an empty stomach, have a fruit, drink some green tea or at the most have 2 Parle G biscuits. Only 2. That will make your stomach work again and you can tell your mind to just go to sleep. In fact, just go to sleep already. Stop working graveyard shifts to complete work or be on twitter! You need to be thin more than be liked!

16.   Thin Fridge – Put a photo of a thin person on the fridge or snack cupboard and a full-length photo of you next to it. Every time you go to open it, you’ll need to compare. Truly, you can see you don’t need that snack. In fact, just remove all the fatty snacks anyway. If you don’t have them at home, you won’t need to eat them.

17.   Mothers and spouses- they love you and want to feed you. They make your favourite things and then they experiment more with things you like. You can’t say no. but you can control your portions. 2 spoons at the most and appreciate them for their cooking. The rest they can eat. Or they can invite a few people over and those people can appreciate them and get fat. You show your love and appreciation anyway by doing more things. Also, remind them that you are just not in the mood for such fatty foods anymore. Be kind and say it like, “I think I’m getting gas with eating all that food. I think I need to cut back.” No one wants a stinky hippo at home.

18.   Tricks, diets, gimmicks – Pills, centers, internet sites for quick weight loss are all hocus-pocus. I’ve tried most of them. Acai berry, high metabolism tablets, the fat shaker, the acupressure, melting fat through heat belts, the blood group diet, the south beach, Atkins, Shikha Sharma, Pooja makhija, VLCC, Savita Dawre, and more. Nothing works. It’s a waste of time. It’s like being in a relationship where you’re paying for your partner’s jaunts when your partner is sleeping with someone else. YOU need to control your fat. Treat it like a bad boy. Say, “No I’m not spending money on this new (diet) toy so you can fool yourself into thinking you will be happy. You need to work hard to earn it.” There are no easy ways. Unless you WANT to follow the diet, it’s not going to work. And dieting and exercise combined is the only way. And no it aint gonna happen in a month or two. It will take 3 months or more. If you don’t start now, it will not happen at all. Cos your mind will always postpone it anyway.

19.   The right choice baby – Make your diet for the day. Carry those foods with you. Shop for the groceries and make your food at home. No, you don’t look like an idiot carrying dabbas. You look more like a fool carrying all that weight around.

20.   People Meter – If you’re thin, you don’t need to become thinner. Figure out your body fat percentage and your bmi and be happy with your body. You’re not a frickin super model and you’re not earning money by being thin. You just need to be healthy and have your vital signs under control. Stop being harsh on yourself. Just as women love a man for his sense of humour, a man loves a woman for her personality. A “fine body” is always the second choice.