Thursday, May 5, 2011

FROM FLING TO RING : A true story

A break up is never easy. But when you’ve broken up with a billionaire it feels even worse. When Sumit left me, I was shattered. Not only had I lost out on the empire that was rightfully mine after dating him for four years, I was left man less at an age when I should have been planning a wedding and babies. It had not been easy to catch the billionaire. He came from a billionaire family and I came from a middle class background. So I nurtured him, and groomed him and made him chase me just enough for him to want me for a long time. I was so sure that he was wrapped around my little finger. So it came as a shock when he showed me another one and went with what his mother said and got married to another billionaire girl.
I was left in the lurch. Heartbroken and humiliated. It was then that I met another man. Kanishk was his name. He had just graduated from an MBA and had been placed in the same MNC I was working in. Now obviously having a romance with him was wrong on both counts. First, you never have an office fling and secondly you never date on the rebound. One is only supposed to have multiple flings on the rebound. Therefore, that is what I thought I would do. I would have a fling with this man and then move on to someone else.
But Kanishk was a persistent person. He would get us movie tickets even before I could make plans to go with anyone else and reserve seats at the newest bars even before I wanted to go. He was smitten by me and vice versa. We started having a wonderful time together and I could see that the fling that I had wanted was turning into a romance that would last a long time.
So I did what I thought was the only practical solution. “I think we should break up.”I said to him matter of factly one morning.
He was flummoxed, not knowing what he had done wrong.  I clarified it for him in the nicest way I could. “It’s not you. It’s me.” I knew it sounded clichéd as soon as I said it so I explained further, “I just got over a breakup. I was trying to find my bearings and I don’t know if I want to commit again so soon.”
He nodded his head in a very understanding manner and said, “Well do you want to see other people?”He asked.
“Yes!” I said too eagerly.
“Alright.” He replied with some patience, “But are there `other’ people you know you want to see?” he asked.
And I thought about it. How could there have been when he was breathing down my neck every minute of every day? We worked together, we travelled together, and we partied together. Where was the room for anyone else to come into my life?
“Not really Kanishk but maybe I need to explore a little more to know if this is what I want.” I said hesitantly.
He nodded and said he would give me two months to figure out what I wanted. Moreover, if he found someone else in the time period, he would have the choice to break up as well. I thought this was only fair.
So I called my girlfriends and asked them to fix me up with whomever they knew. Alankrita told me flat out, “Are you mad? You’ve got a nice, decent boy who loves you and you want to go find other jerks?”
“So does this mean you’re not going to help me?” I asked. I could only hear the dead receiver at the end of the line.
“Ya my cousin is available,” said Samantha, “But he’s a vegetarian and doesn’t drink and goes to Church every Sunday and expects his wife, if you choose to be her, to do the same.”
“Wife?” I asked incredulously, “Whoever said anything about a wife?” I had just wanted a few more flings.
“You obviously wouldn’t date someone if you didn’t want it to `go somewhere’ eventually would you Megs? And you wouldn’t play with my brother’s feeling now would you?” demanded Sam who’s tone went into a high pitch.
I finally went on a blind date. As soon as the man picked me up, he asked me a hundred times where I wanted to go. When I suggested something, he didn’t want to eat the cuisine. He was a Gemini who couldn’t make up his mind. All through the evening there seemed to be something wrong with him though I couldn’t put my finger on it. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t a nice guy but his jokes didn’t impress me, nor did his intelligence. It was as if I was playing a twenty- question game to get to know him better. By the end of the evening, I realized that maybe for all my gusto in having many flings, deep down I didn’t want them. I wanted just one man.
And to find the “Perfect Man” I would be flitting from one bar to another, a hobby class to another and pleading with girlfriends to find me a man who loved me and made me laugh when I already had one who was devoted to me. Just because I had a good relationship immediately after a break up didn’t mean it was only a fling.
So I went back to Kanishk well before the separation time was over in the hope that he had not found anyone. I met him for coffee after work. He seemed nonchalant and quiet so I started speaking, “Kanishk, I’m sorry. I have been a fool. Do you want to go out again?” I requested bluntly and earnestly.
He was quiet for a long time. Then he replied, “No Megs. I don’t want to go out again.”
I was crestfallen. My eyes welled up with tears. I knew my stupid, spontaneous behavior would make me do something that I would regret forever and that day had come.
Kanishk started smiling slowly and said with a twinkle in his eye, “I don’t want to go out with you…I want to marry you! I wanted you to have the space to realize what you wanted. However, I always knew what I wanted. And I know now that you’ve tried to find the different men and failed. So you won’t do it after we’re married!” he said cockily.
Kanishk and I have been married for over 8 years. I learnt later that my friends plotted not to find other men for me. And today I am so glad that they didn’t. Sometimes rebound relationships are the ones that give you the greatest happiness.


Anonymous said...

I missed the ring part ;o)
A good one. Keep writing to keep your juices (creative) flowing

Anonymous said...

Hi, i just read ur "true Story" and i am impressed by the honesty.{particularly the first part about missing out on being a billioneress wife}. I have one questions that i find no answer to. why do women seem to be looking for a man for "rest of the life"? I mean why on earth is getting married = settling down? i am not against {or for } marriage as an institution, but its amazing how even the most well heeled competent professionally socially and {even} economically sound women seem to have just one mission..namely..find the right man. Why dont they just go on with life..and if some one comes along its good..{someone does come along..sooner or later}..but why this evangelist zeal? i am not a writer/blogger/man of i really dunno if i have been able to say what lies in my mind. And thats a disclaimer..of sorts.
ps: i saw the link on my TL in twitter.and continued reading the "..real story" cause of the candid opening passages.

Neha said...

stumbled upon your blog from twitter..what a sweet story :) cheers!

Madhuri Banerjee said...

@Deeppz - It's funny you say this because most of my friends are single women not really looking to "settle down" and they range from 25 to 45 year olds. However the 25 year olds are very adamant and the 45 year old ones want a little companionship at the end of the day. Marriage might not be the "solution" but I think everyone needs someone to talk to once in a while or understand them. Till our society becomes more forgiving to a live in relationship or we find new definitions to relationships, it is easier to term what we all look out for as "marriage".
And women do go on with their lives..they travel, they become CEOs, they run their enterprises, they even have kids out of wedlock. No one is stopping anything for something called the "perfect man", that is an urban legend ;)

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Thanks Neha :)

Anonymous said...

Thnxx. but wat the heck does it mean when u say.."..everyone needs someone to talk to once in a while or understand them"unquote. ??? men dont really need that. we all know what men want...eventually. its clichéd..but its just being a male. {i have even seen it in the two cats i have, on emale other female}. Prob is when wimmen try to "put on". and u have articulated the same so nicely in ur opening para. I have seen it in so many wimmen. some of them really good buddies. what the heck do u all need a man for?...{and u know i not talking about the obvious "biological need"(sic)). why on earth do wimmen need a shoulder to cry on? for heavens sake lets get equal. and i understand it not about "money". Its across the board. From a maid servant to an office assistant to a top notch honcho. why do wimmen make themselves so damn vulnerable? Just for that elusive Mr Right?

Madhuri Banerjee said...

First of all, it's "women". And they do not make themselves vulnerable. They do not need a shoulder to cry on, nor do any other thing necessary for them by a man. But human beings need other human beings. It's a simple law of Nature. Men also need someone to talk to. Believe me, after a while they look around and want to hang out with the opposite sex. Would you want to spend the rest of your life with your cats?

Lakshmi said...

I just loved the way you put the story....Its so sweet...... Keep writing such good ones.... I would love to read more of it....

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Thank you Lakshmi.

Aditya said...

Beautiful story. Call it my childishness, but I have this craving for stories with happy endings. And as I was reading through your story, I was praying that the protagonist finds the man she loves, if she doesn't want to go for Kanishk. Didn't want it to be a Marrying Anita kind of a story. I would have loved it if Anita would have found the love of her life or at least settled for a man (everyone says that there's no perfect man or woman but they will keep searching for them).

Anonymous said...

Hi, theres a difference between goodcompany & emotional dependence. And thats why i like my cats. :)
Either way...fact is your writing is interesting and please do keep up the good work. My best wishes & lotsa luck.


Anonymous said...

Dear Ms. Banerjee,

It seems that this piece of story has been scripted from Bollywood's Lovey-Dovey movies. It is quite baffling to see the response which you are getting... I guess the point is that there is no point of showing your insecure, skewed psychological life in public, unless you like to seek attention from all the passer's by.. precisely Internet Bloggers.... Best part is anyone and everyone has the mouth to advice.. without knowing what they are exposing...

Divya said...

Very Nice. I love a happy ending & stories that don't die of people's ego being gigantic :)

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Deep - You're right. There is a difference but ppl mistake one for the other. Thank you for your kind words. Will try and live up to your expectations :)

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Anonymous,
First of all I would love to know your name. It's easy to comment on life when you can hide behind something. It's far more difficult to stand up to something. My story might be from a lovely dovey Hindi movie but it's true. Names hv been changed. And most of the time, the Hindi movies that do well are the ones that are most's not baffling at all :)

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Divya - Thank you for your sweet comments. I too feel the same way. Ego has become bigger than Love. And it skews our relationships so much. Sometimes at least in stories, we need happy endings :)

Sushant_D said...

Cheers, i take it as fiction and its nice. (Anyways, fiction or true, a story is a story and this one is cool) Keep it up. Keep writing.

haroonmarikar said...

Dear Madhuri ,

Nice writing ..... I am midway into your book when i realised it was fiction . Your writing style is so realistic. Actually read the part with the reality show when i realised i hadnt seen a reality show other than rahul mahajans swayamvar .
Nice writing keep it up

Aloke said...

If you have to tell a story ..... keep it simple ... that is the style you have ....keep it up ...I like it ... however I did have a faint feeling she is going to come back to Kanishk ....

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Thank you so much for your comments and feedback. The purpose it to enjoy, think, reflect and whatever else I can manage to do with my words for the reader. :)

Anonymous said...

Loved this post. Specially the part when Kanishk says " i wanted you to have your space" :) Keep writing !

Madhuri Banerjee said...


Supriti Banerjee said...

Hi Madhuri mam

I was just passing by a website called stack your rack, and I find your book. Although still I haven’t read it, but I really impressed by you and search you in linkedIn… and got your block.. day after tomorrow is a product launch party in my office I have full of works to do.. but from morning to till evening I read almost your all post.. really I have no regret for that because the way you present your thoughts it is phenomenal and I couldn’t stop myself to stop reading I know for that I have to work whole night to finish off my office work… but no issues at all.

All the very best for your upcoming novels. Keep rocking.

Supriti Banerjee

Supriti Banerjee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.

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