Thursday, October 18, 2012

How to Get Over a Break Up



First of all I think the hardest thing in the world is to have a relationship. To get into it, to maintain it and then to realize that you have invested all your energies and time and years into something that you now feel is not going anywhere. Never mind that you don’t know where it should be going. You know that it is the end. So it’s time. It’s time to let go and break up. You’ve said those angry words, you’ve said the goodbyes and slammed down the phone. You’ve had the teary farewell. Now what? Let’s list them out.

 

1.   Move. Really. If you can’t move countries, move cities. Ok you can’t move because your work is there, go stay somewhere where you feel pampered. Rent out a hotel room for a few nights and live luxuriously…and don’t call your ex and try to get them to visit.

2.   Travel. Take a vacation. Not just for 1 day but for a whole week and weekend. Go preferably far away from everything that reminds you of that person. Somewhere where neither of you ever wanted to go… so you do it alone. Take a friend if you have to and if no one agrees, just do it alone. Ok it takes money but what have you been saving for anyway? What better time than now? Take the sick leaves from your company and go.

3.   Get a makeover. This sounds clichéd and doesn’t really help. After you’ve got the hair cut and bought the new clothes, you’ll go back to feeling low since you’ll want to show it to your ex and that’s just a bad idea. So get a makeover for your soul. Join a class that you would generally not do so - Bollywood dancing, pole dancing, art of living, yoga, or better yet boxing, karate and wrestling. Anything that takes you away from the normal and where you can meet new people while venting out your frustration.

4.   Casual Sex. Yes. Yes. Let us all be morally offended by the idea but we all know that the best way to get over a person is to get under another one. Be safe and all that, but go ahead and feel happy that at least a part of you is satisfied. Wink wink.

5.   Eat Cabbage. Here’s why - While that brownie and vodka will make you feel better now, it won’t do anything for you tomorrow or day after. And one day you will look at yourself in the mirror and be horrified with what that person has done to you. Because after all you were doing it because of them. And then you’ll be depressed. No use. Don’t say the s word (salad) It’ll make you feel like you’re on a diet. But eat the cabbage.

6.   If you feel the need to talk to them, send text messages, chat, do all the things you’ve been doing for so long, then write the notes on separate pages of a diary or notebook. There’s a diary online that you can pen down your thoughts every time you feel like ventilating. You can even make it public and let the rest of share in your thoughts! Do not pick up that phone.

7.   Get a pet. Pets distract. I would have said have a baby since that’s the best form of mind-boggling work, but that would take 9 months and a person…so forget that and get a pet. Fish don’t count.

8.   Find a friend. No I do not meet call your best friends and whine to them again. They’ve heard it all and frankly are bored with your relationship. Find a friend online. Join Internet groups. There’s a whole world out there of whiny people who can sympathize with you. And who knows, one of them might be The One!

9.   Watch a movie every night. No, not a romantic one. Make it a point to keep yourself busy post work. Go watch it alone. Make friends with the popcorn man. Watch every movie and every play there is in town. Then rent dvds and watch them back-to-back till you’re tired and fall asleep. Pretty soon you’ll realize that you don’t have the urge to pick up the phone and call that person.

10.           Renovate your house. There’s nothing more distracting than having painters, carpenters and builders working at your place asking for suggestions. Go shopping for new things for the house. At the end, you will have a beautiful new home where you can invite all those new friends and share new energies with. Let the good times begin, again!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Accurate Horoscopes!




ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny... Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world.



TAURUS - The Tramp
(April 20 to May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centred and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!



GEMINI - The Twin
(May 21 to June 20)
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

CANCER - The Beauty
(June 21 to July 22)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer's love is one of a kind... Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to!



LEO - The Lion
(July 23 to August 22)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything.. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.



VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22)

Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only.


LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic.



SCORPIO - The Addict
(October 23 to November 21)
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humour. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring.



SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
(November 22 to December 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offence forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it.. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic.. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.



CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
(December 22 to January 19)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool.. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini's. Likes to cook but would rather go out
To eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.

AQUARIUS - Does It in the Water
(January 20 to February 18)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they're not sleeping.. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out.



PISCES - The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20)

Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the centre of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humour!!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular.. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be.


 

Monday, October 15, 2012

Love Guru Advice: Husband takes my Mil's Side

Dear Love Guru,
Whenever there’s a dispute between my mother in law and me, my husband always takes his mother’s side. I’m newly married and feel very alone. Help.
Sincerely,
Shruti

Dear Shruti,
Married life is about making compromises. You need to choose if you want to win a battle and be right or let some things go and have peace. No husband takes his wife’s side in the beginning. Even he is a newlywed husband! He’s loved his mother all his life. It’s difficult to go against her. That doesn’t mean he loves you any less. He wishes both of you would sort it out as adults. He married you for your intelligence and he wants you to use it! Firstly, you need to talk to your mother in law about what she expects from you and tell her what you can and cannot do from the list. Assure her that you love her and want to comply with the rules of the house but you need your identity as well. Secondly, speak to your husband honestly about what’s troubling you and how he can help. Is it a job? A child? Financial security? Boredom? If the honeymoon phase is over, you need to start doing more with your time. If you’re working and are supposed to do all the housework, get a maid that you pay for. Chip in for things around the house. And don’t always wait for your husband to sort out your life. Have a life apart from your husband! Remember that you are loved in your new home!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

My Daughter's Gift to Me

It started raining again in the evening today. My daughter Ariaana had been watching promos of English Vinglish and wanted me to take her for the film. I knew it would be tough to get tickets for a show on a Sunday evening for a film that had received great reviews. I didn't want to get her hopes up so I said, “I don’t know if we’ll get tickets.”
She threw her arms down in exasperation and replied, “Of course we’ll get tickets.”
I looked at her quite surprised and smiled. “You have a positive attitude!”
She asked, “What’s a positive attitude?” She’s four. She has attitude. She doesn’t know it yet.
“It means that you think things will be done, things can happen and good things will come your way,” I explained to the best of my ability.
She shrugged her shoulders and said very nonchalantly, “Ya.”
When we reached the theatre the person told me there was only one ticket available. Or there were two seats in separate places. I pleaded with the ticket agent. “Mujhe apni beti ke saath baithna hai. Aur agla show bohat late ho jayega. Kal school hai aur usko film dekhni thi. (I need to sit with my kid. The next show will be too late since she has school tomorrow. She really wanted to watch the film.)
The ticket agent replied, “Peeche ka sofa seat hai. Aap dono fit ho jaoge. (There’s one sofa seat. Both of you will fit on it.)”
So I bought two tickets to squeeze into one seat and as soon as I got the tickets Ariaana squealed, “See I told you! I told you we would get tickets!”
I loved the movie and she loved the popcorn. But I learnt a lesson from her today. I learnt that there was no “negative attitude” in her life. She didn’t know what positive or negative was. She just knew that she would get what she wanted. It didn’t matter if we had to squeeze in together. We had popcorn. She danced on the songs. She kissed me every time Sridevi’s kids hurt her and she cried. We had a blast on our Sunday evening. I don’t know if she will remember it in a few years time. But I will.
And she taught me life’s biggest lesson. From today I will never say `it cannot be done.’ Her nonchalant “Ya” was a way of saying that’s how she lived life; Believing it would happen. Making it happen. Putting faith in yourself or in something bigger to let it happen. That’s what life is about. And somewhere along we have become so cynical, bitter and negative that we don’t believe anymore. We’ve lost faith. My daughter taught me that we can never do that. As children we were innocent and believed that we could conquer the world. We don’t need to be innocent today but we still need to have that positive energy.
I may have taught my child how to read and write. But today she taught me how to live again.
 P.S - This is a photo of Ariaana and me when she was 10 months old. She's 4 + now.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Love Guru Advice: Instant Attraction

Dear Love Guru,
I invited a few friends over and I had this instant connect with a man who I ended up spending the entire evening with. He gets me better than my husband does and I’m insanely attracted to him. Is this my true love?
Confused,
Tahira

Dear Tahira,
I’m not denying the fact that True Love can happen outside a marriage. But this man “gets” you just because you want him to and because your husband hasn’t been spending enough time with you. Women love being “understood,” appreciated and celebrated. When you got married, your husband was doing that. Now he’s trying to do more for you than just sit and talk to you for hours. He’s saving for a future, for the dreams you told him you wanted to have with him. Honestly! A part of you may want to take up the “challenge” of getting the other man to fall in love with you. Somewhere you might think he makes you feel desirable. This is all dangerous territory my friend. Close your eyes and picture yourself with each of the men separately, in a house, being a wife, a mother of their kids, and living a life, having a career and travelling with them. If those are your final goals, then make the correct choice with the correct man. Give that man a chance. Be true whether it’s your husband or not… True Love should happen within your marriage.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Relationship Advice: I earn more than my husband and it causes problems.


Dear Love Guru,
I earn more money in my marriage than my husband and it is causing problems. What do I do?
Sincerely,
Pankhuri

Dear Pankhuri,
Ooff. Men and their egos! You have a right to whatever you earn because you’ve worked hard to get it and enjoy it. But some men feel slighted that they can’t provide for their family. As traditional roles, they’ve always wanted to be the provider and wanted the woman to be the nurturer. However, since the roles have reversed, they just don’t know how to nurture or provide and feel useless. You need to make him feel as if he’s the provider. Let him continue putting money for the household needs. Ask him to help you with work stuff sometimes. Request him to manage certain bills. Once you have delegated what he can spend, and what you can put in as well, each of you should save at least 20% of what you earn. You might feel flushed with money right now and want to flaunt it by buying pretty things for yourself but this will not only aggravate the situation, it will leave you a pauper later. Also, try and be a little discreet about your bonuses, etc if you know he won’t like it. Instead, you can sponsor certain things that you both want to do together. Like an exotic vacation where you bond or redo the house and his space. Money is great to have but Love gives you strength to get it. Don’t lose one over another.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Love Guru Advice: Lost that Sexual Feeling

Dear Love Guru,
I’ve been married for 12 years and feel that I’ve lost all sexual urges. I just don’t want it anymore. I’m 33. Am I becoming a nun?
Sexless,
Maria

Dear Maria,
No you’re not becoming a nun! You’ve probably had sex with just one man your whole life and are bored. This doesn’t mean you go out and find another man! It only means you need to try out new things. Apart from saying the regular things of buying sexy lingerie, lighting your bedroom with candles and using satin sheets, putting on soft music and feeling sexy yourself, I would advise to experiment a little more. Do read a bit of erotica, watch a few sensuous films, and get some toys to play around with. Ever tried it with wax, whipped cream, or champagne? Ever given a strip tease with Pussycat Dolls’ Buttons song in the background? Have you ever blindfolded him and done naughty things for arousal? Ever cooked with just an apron on and surprised him, or worn a sexy sari with a tube blouse and asked him to take you out for an impromptu dinner, or tied him to the bed with his office tie and kissed him passionately? You need to take the initiative to do fun things. Stop feeling shy! Tell him what you want and how he can help. Make sure you have sex at least three times a week! Do get back to vanilla sex after experimenting occasionally to have a normal married life. Now go rock his world!
 

Reserved for One: A poem

We don't trust enough We don't pour out our hearts  Telling all our secrets, our fears and surrendering to each other. Comple...