Thursday, October 18, 2012

How to Get Over a Break Up

First of all I think the hardest thing in the world is to have a relationship. To get into it, to maintain it and then to realize that you have invested all your energies and time and years into something that you now feel is not going anywhere. Never mind that you don’t know where it should be going. You know that it is the end. So it’s time. It’s time to let go and break up. You’ve said those angry words, you’ve said the goodbyes and slammed down the phone. You’ve had the teary farewell. Now what? Let’s list them out.


1.   Move. Really. If you can’t move countries, move cities. Ok you can’t move because your work is there, go stay somewhere where you feel pampered. Rent out a hotel room for a few nights and live luxuriously…and don’t call your ex and try to get them to visit.

2.   Travel. Take a vacation. Not just for 1 day but for a whole week and weekend. Go preferably far away from everything that reminds you of that person. Somewhere where neither of you ever wanted to go… so you do it alone. Take a friend if you have to and if no one agrees, just do it alone. Ok it takes money but what have you been saving for anyway? What better time than now? Take the sick leaves from your company and go.

3.   Get a makeover. This sounds clich├ęd and doesn’t really help. After you’ve got the hair cut and bought the new clothes, you’ll go back to feeling low since you’ll want to show it to your ex and that’s just a bad idea. So get a makeover for your soul. Join a class that you would generally not do so - Bollywood dancing, pole dancing, art of living, yoga, or better yet boxing, karate and wrestling. Anything that takes you away from the normal and where you can meet new people while venting out your frustration.

4.   Casual Sex. Yes. Yes. Let us all be morally offended by the idea but we all know that the best way to get over a person is to get under another one. Be safe and all that, but go ahead and feel happy that at least a part of you is satisfied. Wink wink.

5.   Eat Cabbage. Here’s why - While that brownie and vodka will make you feel better now, it won’t do anything for you tomorrow or day after. And one day you will look at yourself in the mirror and be horrified with what that person has done to you. Because after all you were doing it because of them. And then you’ll be depressed. No use. Don’t say the s word (salad) It’ll make you feel like you’re on a diet. But eat the cabbage.

6.   If you feel the need to talk to them, send text messages, chat, do all the things you’ve been doing for so long, then write the notes on separate pages of a diary or notebook. There’s a diary online that you can pen down your thoughts every time you feel like ventilating. You can even make it public and let the rest of share in your thoughts! Do not pick up that phone.

7.   Get a pet. Pets distract. I would have said have a baby since that’s the best form of mind-boggling work, but that would take 9 months and a person…so forget that and get a pet. Fish don’t count.

8.   Find a friend. No I do not meet call your best friends and whine to them again. They’ve heard it all and frankly are bored with your relationship. Find a friend online. Join Internet groups. There’s a whole world out there of whiny people who can sympathize with you. And who knows, one of them might be The One!

9.   Watch a movie every night. No, not a romantic one. Make it a point to keep yourself busy post work. Go watch it alone. Make friends with the popcorn man. Watch every movie and every play there is in town. Then rent dvds and watch them back-to-back till you’re tired and fall asleep. Pretty soon you’ll realize that you don’t have the urge to pick up the phone and call that person.

10.           Renovate your house. There’s nothing more distracting than having painters, carpenters and builders working at your place asking for suggestions. Go shopping for new things for the house. At the end, you will have a beautiful new home where you can invite all those new friends and share new energies with. Let the good times begin, again!


@_desigirl said...

Well Said! Frankly telling you, I have actually followed most of these steps post breakups except the cabbage bit of it. (No I am not 'plump' still). Let me give it a shot, for a change. ;) Muah! Love ur writings. :)

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Fantastic! Keep it up! And thank you so much :)

Anonymous said...

I had to break a girl's heart who is not self dependent. Who stays with her parents and earns only a little to perhaps follow the schedule. In fact I doubt how much her parents would pamper or console her after what happened.

When I broke her heart I was aware she won't have recourse to any of it though she writes a blog cursing me and her horror life every few days.

I tried very very very hard to make her explain and understand my part so that our relation works out, but she was so crazy and so much difficult to manage. But she is and was so innocent and so soft when she was not crazy and rude :-(

I follow all the tips that you mentioned ( just don't get any casual sex :P :P) but wherever I go whatever I do. The childish memories chase me and ask me is my happiness at the cost of someone's tears.

There is no guilt or doubt in me if I took the right decision. The relationship was too much that I was able to bear. But are there any tips for my situation?

Anonymous said...

I'm into someone,I have never even dated ! How do I get over him ?

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