Relationship Advice: I earn more than my husband and it causes problems.


Dear Love Guru,
I earn more money in my marriage than my husband and it is causing problems. What do I do?
Sincerely,
Pankhuri

Dear Pankhuri,
Ooff. Men and their egos! You have a right to whatever you earn because you’ve worked hard to get it and enjoy it. But some men feel slighted that they can’t provide for their family. As traditional roles, they’ve always wanted to be the provider and wanted the woman to be the nurturer. However, since the roles have reversed, they just don’t know how to nurture or provide and feel useless. You need to make him feel as if he’s the provider. Let him continue putting money for the household needs. Ask him to help you with work stuff sometimes. Request him to manage certain bills. Once you have delegated what he can spend, and what you can put in as well, each of you should save at least 20% of what you earn. You might feel flushed with money right now and want to flaunt it by buying pretty things for yourself but this will not only aggravate the situation, it will leave you a pauper later. Also, try and be a little discreet about your bonuses, etc if you know he won’t like it. Instead, you can sponsor certain things that you both want to do together. Like an exotic vacation where you bond or redo the house and his space. Money is great to have but Love gives you strength to get it. Don’t lose one over another.

Comments

Shilpi Karnani said…
very well advised..this is a problem which many women earning well have to face..I especially liked the tip how the female can sponsor joint indulgences like vacations etc.
Also,it would be a good boost to his ego,if the female would constantly show her gratitude & appreciation for his support in letting her work..Like the words" You are my biggest strength when I go out to face the world..Thanks for being there for me..etc"
http://shilpikarnani.blogspot.in/
malini said…
i truely and deeply love a guy and i know that he loves me as well...his behaviour,possessiveness ...says so..but he doesn't propose...what do i do??
malini said…
what do you think i should do??please do tell me...
Malini,
Do you love him? Does he love you? Are you both committed to each other? Do both of you enjoy each other's company? If all this is there then why in God's name do you want him to propose marriage?
Love doesn't have any added definition. A marriage does not entail happiness or ever lasting love. Which would you prefer?
Be happy. Live for yourself.

Madhuri
malini said…
My parents want me to get married and asks me continuously about any guy i want to settle down with...i dont know what to do.....what do i tell my parents and my relatives who wants me to see married soon?
malini said…
and besides all these things i,myself want to get settled..and i cant imagine to get settled with someone other than him...
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