Dear Love Guru,I earn more money in my marriage than my husband and it is causing problems. What do I do?
Dear Pankhuri,Ooff. Men and their egos! You have a right to whatever you earn because you’ve worked hard to get it and enjoy it. But some men feel slighted that they can’t provide for their family. As traditional roles, they’ve always wanted to be the provider and wanted the woman to be the nurturer. However, since the roles have reversed, they just don’t know how to nurture or provide and feel useless. You need to make him feel as if he’s the provider. Let him continue putting money for the household needs. Ask him to help you with work stuff sometimes. Request him to manage certain bills. Once you have delegated what he can spend, and what you can put in as well, each of you should save at least 20% of what you earn. You might feel flushed with money right now and want to flaunt it by buying pretty things for yourself but this will not only aggravate the situation, it will leave you a pauper later. Also, try and be a little discreet about your bonuses, etc if you know he won’t like it. Instead, you can sponsor certain things that you both want to do together. Like an exotic vacation where you bond or redo the house and his space. Money is great to have but Love gives you strength to get it. Don’t lose one over another.