Dear Love Guru,
I’ve been married for 12 years and feel that I’ve lost all sexual urges. I just don’t want it anymore. I’m 33. Am I becoming a nun?
No you’re not becoming a nun! You’ve probably had sex with just one man your whole life and are bored. This doesn’t mean you go out and find another man! It only means you need to try out new things. Apart from saying the regular things of buying sexy lingerie, lighting your bedroom with candles and using satin sheets, putting on soft music and feeling sexy yourself, I would advise to experiment a little more. Do read a bit of erotica, watch a few sensuous films, and get some toys to play around with. Ever tried it with wax, whipped cream, or champagne? Ever given a strip tease with Pussycat Dolls’ Buttons song in the background? Have you ever blindfolded him and done naughty things for arousal? Ever cooked with just an apron on and surprised him, or worn a sexy sari with a tube blouse and asked him to take you out for an impromptu dinner, or tied him to the bed with his office tie and kissed him passionately? You need to take the initiative to do fun things. Stop feeling shy! Tell him what you want and how he can help. Make sure you have sex at least three times a week! Do get back to vanilla sex after experimenting occasionally to have a normal married life. Now go rock his world!