How to Hook Up At a Party

Look like Ryan Gosling – You know why girls swoon over Ryan Gosling? Because he looks good. Now it doesn’t matter if you’re not as fit or as wealthy, you can still try to bathe, wear deo, trim your beard, gel your hair and put on some fresh ironed clothes. If you’re confused about what to wear, a woman always loves a crisp white shirt and well-fitted jeans on a man. If it’s a formal event, wear a jacket. Oh…a jacket would make you win half the battle.

Speak like Mark Zuckerberg – No not the guy who played him in the movie, the real man. He is intelligent, philanthropic and wears a nice smile. He is appealing. He speaks when spoken to. He’s not bragging about his work, money or life. He’s down to earth. Be cool, comfortable, easy going. Mingle with a group and speak to all women at the party. Thin you deserve to be there. Know that women are interested in you when you smile sincerely and not lecherously.

Think like James Bond – You’re charismatic, suave, sexy, mind blowing. Feel it. And then speak to a woman who you like, or the woman who has come over. Be intelligent. Don’t ogle at her breasts. Be interested in her. “If I had to take you on a date, which movie would you like to see?” Ask her what she likes to do. Give her the spotlight but don’t be creepy. Too many personal questions will make her think you’re stalking her. Smile and nod your head as if you really care. Be mysterious.

Charm like Shah Rukh Khan – Women love SRK. Not because he’s a great actor, but because when he looks at you, you’re the only one he’s thinking of. Give her undivided attention. Ask her for a dance if there’s a dance floor. Seclude her to another area where you can hear her better – the terrace, a corridor, etc. Ask her if she would like to smoke. This way you can spend some more time dazzling her. Talk about your hobbies and your work. Don’t be overconfident. Stay humble and shift focus back to her.

Friendly like Chandler – Before Monica and Chandler hooked up she always thought of him as a friend. At a party you don’t want a woman to think of you as someone she can confide in. As soon as she feels comfortable with you, she won’t sleep with you. If she mentions she has a boyfriend, say you’re not interested in breaking anything up and thank her and walk away. If she still chooses to spend time with you, then you’ve got her hooked. If she says you can become good friends, then you must immediately say you’re too enamoured to remain friends and again walk away. Let her make the choice to come to you. Or you can go the Chandler way and become friends until you confess you have feelings for her one fine day in the future.

Spend like Mr. Big – Women have watched Sex and the City, a TV show where the male protagonists had lots of money. A woman likes the fact that her man can afford her high maintenance life. If you can buy her a drink, offer to take her out for dinner and even say you will get her a new dress if you rip her current one off, it shows you can afford expensive things in life. Women are attracted to men who are doing well in life as compared to men who are still struggling.

Sing like Sinatra – Women love a man who can sing or/and play an instrument. It’s something about the lyrics or the melody in his voice that will make a woman instantly attracted to him. So at a party if there’s karaoke, do sing a song. And if there isn’t say that you would like to sing two lines of a song that you’re reminded of when she speaks. Practice any song at home before you get to the party. Always sing the same song that you’re most confident in. Don’t sing the whole song till you’re prompted by her.

Funny like Farhan Akhtar – This man has been called the thinking woman’s ideal man. He’s witty and sharp and he may not have the best body or greatest dress sense but he’s sincere, puns a lot, comes up with great stories and is the master of many trades. That could be you. You don’t always need to pretend to be someone you’re not. You can just laugh at yourself and tell her an anecdote about your past that was humiliating and yet here you are hoping that the most beautiful woman in the room might like you more than that cool man over there in the corner. Endearing men always score!

Aloof like Mr Darcy – Women like brooding, aloof, powerful, dominant men. They like a bad boy they can tame. First you must find a woman who is also eyeing you as much as you are eyeing her. Then walk over to her and pay her a compliment. “I couldn’t help but admire your eyes from all the way across the room and I just needed to get a closer look.” If she’s with friends say “Enjoy your evening” and walk away, a distance where she can still see you. Smile at her if she’s still sitting with friends. Don’t start chatting with other people. Sit separately with your drink. Let her come to you.

Be You – If you like a girl, tell her. Compliment her on her eyes, her smile and the way she carries her dress. Talk to her about yourself. If you had a Twitter bio what would it say? Ask her. Play twenty questions about the person she is. Does she like parties or quiet dinners at home? Tell her what your future plans her. “I’m planning to take a cooking class to make a quiet dinner for someone in the near future.” Make her laugh.

Some women might hook up and some women even after everything you do just won’t. They came to the party to have a good time and not hook up. Don’t take it personally. In the end, have a wonderful time at the party. The more you go out to just have fun, the more you’ll have a great holiday season. 

From my Maxim Column December 2014 issue.