Dear Love Guru,
I’m 35 years old. I’ve been in a relationship for the last 3 years with a very sweet man who loves me dearly. The problem is that I am a traditional Indian woman. I want to get married, have children, and look after a house. The man wants me to have a career, be economically independent and doesn’t want to be the sole provider for the relationship. What do I do?
Dear Radha,A large percentage of men in India still desire a traditional role for a woman. Unfortunately you went and fell in love with the opposite percentage. The man has a point. Women today do need to work and feel self satisfied with their lives otherwise they will depend only on the man or their children for their economic well being and emotional stability. You may not want a career, but you need to have a hobby that keeps you preoccupied enough to be somewhat independent. Alternatively, you need to make him understand that opposites can make it work! If he doesn’t get it, take a one month break from each other where you promise to be celibate and faithful to decide whether you truly need each other. This entails as little communication. Write down what you feel with and without each other. Taking the entire month off is very necessary since a few days won’t give you an entire perspective. It will be hard but it will give clarity! In the end, it is ok to be alone than be in a marriage where you had history, but have no future.