Beauty & Choices:
“Mama, I want to be as thin as an actress,” my 5-year-old child said to me as she pushed away a piece of chocolate cake.
I looked at her and realized this was my fault.
I’ve always been saying, “I’m fat!” I’ve cursed my grandmother and mother for giving me genes that never helped me lose weight. I wasn’t naturally thin or tall. I didn’t have a great metabolism that burned everything I ate. I smelt food and it went to my hips. I have been working out an hour a day since I was 12 and I’ve never been my ideal weight. I’ve coursed through magazines wishing that I would magically be thin. Moreover, this huge issue of not being slim was now foretelling on my child. What had I done?!
To be fair, it’s not all my fault. It is a curse of the modern age where everything thin is meant to be beautiful. Indians are obsessed with either being thin or being fair. Beauty is a tall, thin fair woman with long hair. And if we all emulate that, then we just become clones of an idea and lose out on any individuality or a great personality.
There are no fat actresses that Indian girls can look up to. There are no voluptuous women on magazines that housewives can emulate. It’s all about having flat tummies and perfect hourglass figures. We see women slogging it off in gyms, and joining weight loss programs that hamper not only their bodies but affect their minds. Because being on a “diet” just to have a flat tummy will make you depressed. Starving is not the key to a happy life!
As modern age women, we need to make a choice and just get off that stupid scale!
Your beauty does not lie around your hips. It is not defined if you have a double chin or not. Your beauty lies in your face, your heart, and your behavior. Why are you judging yourself through the eyes of a magazine?
Women meet each other and the first they like to comment on is their weight. We need to see each other in a new light. Just because weight is an easy start to a conversation doesn’t mean it should be the first option. Women have great relationships with their girl friends over so many issues. Let’s start talking about them first. Start with a compliment.
In our personal lives, men make us feel what we want them to feel. Men hardly care if you’re slightly plump. Our relationships can’t be labeled by how fat or thin we are. They’re defined by the beauty that lies within us. How much we radiate that inner glow that makes people want to be around us. How you make your partner feel about himself. How you support each other is what makes great relationships.
We women are a sum of far more experiences in our life than just a number on a scale. Our beauty lies in the fact that we have gone through heartbreak, childbirth, tragedies, joy, and given all of our energy to people to help them. Allowing ourselves to be imperfect and accepting the fact that we’re not super models will help us find happiness and peace. Because if the one thing that is not giving you that freedom to live and enjoy life completely is your weight, then you’re doing a disservice to yourself as a human being!
Working out everyday helps you live a healthier life. Cutting down on extra calories and refined foods prevents you from lifestyle diseases. So go ahead and be healthy. Just don’t deny yourself small treats and the occasional lapse in a workout if your body says so. Live healthy because you want to live longer, not because it will put you look better on Facebook!
Remove your focus from losing weight to doing something for yourself. Get a new haircut. Wear a brighter shade of lipstick. Get a fitted dress. Show off a new you that makes you feel confident. Accept yourself from top to toe. Your confidence will show in the swish of your hips as you walk the gloss of your hair as you toss it back and the curves in your smile as you laugh at life. That’s beautiful!
I looked at my daughter and picked up a spoon. “How about we share this cake and then we share an apple?” She nodded agreeing with the idea.
I took a bite and replied, “Do you know who I love the most in the world?” She looked up at me. I answered, “You. Because of all the good things you do. No actress will ever be as beautiful as you are. And they might be thin, but you are beautiful because you’re nice. And isn’t it always better to have people around who love you for who you are than just be thin?”
She smiled and nodded. I had finally got through! I would never curse my grandmother and mother for being fat again. Instead, I would thank them for giving me great values and making me take strong choices in the world that made me beautiful!