The Kung Fu of Foreplay

Foreplay seems like a land Far Far way, where no man has ever gone. And no man has ever understood.

Foreplay is that word, that phenomenon, that enigma that eludes the comprehension of every male in the world. Yes, there are a few who will say they can last “45 minutes.” Or even declare, “They can give the best orgasm to the woman.” But do not kid yourself when you say you are good at foreplay. No matter how many educational degrees you have acquired, or diploma courses you’ve taken in your life, foreplay is the one course that you’ve never been interested in. Foreplay is the degree, the idea, the intent that you need to master to keep your woman, any woman at your mercy always.

Now before you understand what foreplay is you must change three things about yourself.

1.      Patience – You will need patience to master this phenomenon.

2.      Softness – You will need delicate fingertips and be gentle when you have foreplay.

3.      Timing – If you move to an erogenous zone too fast, you’ve lost your woman. She will be thinking of her chores and immediately say she has a headache.

Men don’t need foreplay too much. They love a blow job. Need a little ear tickle. And presence of a woman. Not necessarily in that order. But women always need foreplay. Otherwise they’ll agree to have sex with you once or twice, but you can rest assure that it will not be fantastic, she may lie there like a corpse and/or if she is married she will figure out how to have an affair.

So the key of giving great foreplay is to go slowly. So remember to spend at least 4-5 minutes on each zone.  

The 9 Erogenous Zones to Great Foreplay:

1.      Mouth – You must be able to kiss her without your hands roaming all over her body. Hold her close. Stroke her hair. Kiss her lips, corners of her mouth, gently use your tongue to arouse her further. Do not use your tongue vigorously. You don’t always need to prove you’re passionate. Prove you are gentle and she’ll respect you more.

2.      Neck - Nibble at her ears, behind her neck, down the length of her neck and shoulders. Slowly blow air as you kiss and blow simultaneously across her neck and shoulders, crossing to the other side and repeating the action. Each side taking a few minutes.

3.      Arms – With the tips of your fingers you can stroke your woman’s. Remember counting is important here. While you run your three or four fingers alternatively down her arm, it should take you about ten – fifteen seconds per each length. Place them gently on her arm from shoulder to finger tips as if you’re a slow energy that is drumming against her and pulling away at her fingers.

4.      Back - Once she feels comfortable to remove her clothes, swivel her around slowly and use the tips of your fingers to make patterns on her back. Not your entire palm. Just your fingers. Raise your fingers and place them gently back again, giving her a bit of suspense where she will be touched next. Pretend to make waves with your fingertips across her back. Remember to finish one pattern of a wave down her back before you begin making concentric circles, or making waves her along the length of her sides timidly near her breasts.

5.      Knee – Here is a secret. Under the knee is one of the most erogenous zones of a woman and rarely explored. Put your fingers together, not in a fist, as if you’re making a flower bud, hold it under her knee and release the fingertips as if the flower is opening. Do this very gently for ten seconds till the entire fingertips open. Do this a few times even on one knee. You don’t need to do it on both sides. One knee is enough for arousal.

6.      Toes – Many women love getting their toes sucked. Gently run your fingers across her pedicured feet and take her one toe in your mouth at a time. You don’t need to spend too much time here.

7.      Breasts – Gently running your fingertips across both her breasts will arouse her more than you tugging at them. Flick her nipples with your tongue. Rub your tongue around the areola. Kiss her breasts. Sometimes you don’t need to suck or tug. Also you don’t need to head to the other side and do the same with the other breast unless she asks you. The purpose is to arouse her, not to find balance in life.

8.      Clitoris – Most men hate going down on women. But you can always use your fingers. Once she is aroused from all the other zones, put two fingers in and keep your thumb out. Gently move the two fingers in and out and move the thumb in circles around, outside the vagina. If you can kiss her, lick her, probe your tongue into her alternatively while using your fingers, you’ve pretty much mastered foreplay.

9.      Brain – Do not indulge in dirty talk while you are trying to arouse your woman. You can do that later during intercourse. Or you can do it on the phone when you can’t feel each other. But while you are being gentle, slow and sensitive, you must indulge in silence or simple questions like “Do you like this. Do you want more? Where do you want me to touch you?” Let her lie back and enjoy herself. Keep conversation about her.

Warning – Do not mention anything related to house, children, finances, in laws, body weight, your work, bosses, maids, etc. A woman’s mood is as delicate as china ware. No matter how much of the above zones you have aroused, one mention of the above topics will shatter her want and see her getting dressed and putting on her favourite TV show.

Having foreplay may be a slightly longer process to getting sex but it’s a sure shot process and it will leave the woman desiring you forever!

Published in Maxim magazine October issue: