Sunday, March 17, 2013

Top 5 Wacky But Useful Ways to Lose Weight:

I've been trying to lose weight to get my navel pierced. Here are some new ways I came up with!

1.      Photos – Seeing someone thin motivates us to try to become like that. That’s why so many fashion magazines sell. Thousands of women want to look like the model, and hope there is some secret pill inside the magazine that will make them as thin. There never is. However, it hardly motivates them to hit the gym and work their big asses off. Therefore, the photos you need to put up on your fridge are not a Cosmo cover but of your close friend/enemy who is thinner than you are. Check out your friends’ facebook profile pics or recent holiday pics. You will find someone thinner than you. Save that photo – print it and put it up. She is real. She has lost it. The Cosmo model is paid to look that way. Logic takes over your brains and you won’t diet. See the friend’s pic. You need to be thinner than her!

2.      Compete – You hit the gym and you’re bored already. Same weights. Same faces. Monotony. So while you’re there you probably faf around with some people showing off your wit, and drink plenty of water. What you need to do is find a person who comes regularly and compete with him. If he’s doing x number of sit-ups, you do more. If he’s using x number of weights, you do the same. It might be stalking but seriously watch how you will train harder. Also, do run fast if he ever catches you staring at him.

3.      Use the kids – Children have tremendous energy and you’re exhausted doing chores around them. Take the kids to a park and tell them to run while you catch them. Race with the children. Play soccer. Do jumping jacks. Skip rope. With younger kids, put them in a stroller and walk around in a park. Just remember, if you don’t have children you should ask permission from other parents if you want to play with their kids. Otherwise just going and asking a child to run is weird!

4.      Mix it Up – Some days you can swim. Other days you can go to the gym. A few days you can do yoga. You don’t need to have the same routine every day to work out. You can be innovative and mix your routines up. A word of advice...stick to doing any exercise. If you think you’ll do yoga in the morning but you’re so lazy that you keep your workout to a jog in the evening and when evening comes you say you’ll go swimming later at night but then end up tired and hungry and just eat dinner and sleep, you’ve missed out on the routine. So if it’s yoga day, move your lazy bum and just do the yoga.

5.      Diet – This is the most important tip. You’ve probably heard it all before though. Don’t eat high calorie food, do not indulge in fats, restrict carbs, and don’t mix proteins. The list goes on. When you ask Google “Ways to Lose Weight,” there are about 39,900,000 results. So you should know by now. But what they won’t tell you is you need to eat everything your body desires in whatever amount your body desires. However, you should only eat 1 bad thing then. So today, you have a bag of potato ships, don’t eat carbs at night, and work out half an hour extra. If you eat that chocolate pastry, don’t have a drink later. Balance your cravings. Controlling portions is out of the question anymore. If you think you deserve it, you are going to eat it. If you think you deserve a better body, you will work for it.


Bijan Talukdar said...

Very good suggestions but avoid doing over exercise . A little fat in your body gives you the soft appearance. No need to loose all meat and have a skeletal figure to copy the models . I don't like skeletal figure at all.
in this writing use of words like asses, faf is not matching..........Bijan 17.03.2013

Anonymous said...

:D I can so totally identify myself with this. And I am indeed tired of starting over all the time!

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