Relationship Advice: Taken for granted at home. Lost my identity

Dear Love Guru,

I married my childhood sweetheart and had a child early. Post that I stopped working. Even though I’ve done an MBA and was working in a bank, I haven’t had a job in years. I feel I’ve lost my identity and my family takes me for granted. Please help.

Sincerely,

Kavita

Dear Kavita,

As mothers, we are accustomed to giving constantly. We’re cooking, cleaning, managing a house and dealing with the help on a daily basis. All this requires patience and understanding. Hence, we must start giving ourselves credit for being great homemakers. Not everyone is capable of being so. We must also realize that sometimes we need to stop giving even if we still can. By saying “no” occasionally, you will become a better giver and people will take you less for granted. We submerge our identities in our families wanting them to approve and appreciate us. But by doing do so, we lose ourselves till we’re frustrated and resent them. It’s not their fault that they’re taking you for granted. You allowed it to be so. Either you give with all your heart, or you refuse and let them deal with the issue at that time. You don’t always have to make the child’s favourite food because they demand it. Let her eat what’s there. You don’t need to give all your time to the family just because you have it. Make room for yourself. Start a hobby. Do something constructive and creative that allows you freedom and happiness. You’ll find yourself in no time!