Love Guru Advice: Not in the mood for love.

Dear Love Guru,
I’ve been married for a few years and have one child. My husband wants to get intimate with me but I’m just not in the mood anymore. What do I do?

Dear Vandana,
Intimacy is one of the most important things in a happy marriage. But if you don’t connect mentally, you can’t connect physically. Try a few things. First, bring the romance back into your relationship. Spend a few evenings going out for a romantic dinner where both of you talk about yourselves. Leave the child at home with a responsible adult. You need to start connecting with your husband again. Talk about yourself, your dreams, his plans and the special memories when you liked being intimate. It might stir a few feelings. Begin slowly. Touch each other’s hands and enjoy cuddling. Gradually increase the contact. Make sure you tell your husband that you are trying and need time. Don’t give up if he is impatient. Second, you should try to indulge yourself. Go shopping for some racy lingerie, a new dress, and get a relaxing massage. Do things that will make you feel sexy again. If you were adventurous before you had your child, do something that made you feel “alive” before pregnancy. Invest in yourself. You deserve some pampering. Lastly, don’t be afraid. Conquer the mental fear. Get lubricants and take it slowly. Your husband loves you and wants to bond only with you. Tell him how to help you. You’ll do great!


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