Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Love Guru Advice: Bad Breakup Conflicts New Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
I am in love with a man but he says he can’t be in love with me just yet. He has been in a bad relationship and needs time to get over it. I wonder how much time? It's already been six months. Should I wait for him and help him through this difficult period of his?
Waiting Patiently,
Dolores
Dear Dolores,
It seems as if this man is playing teen patti with his cards very close to his heart. He doesn’t want to do a “show” and have you walk away just yet. He might actually have been in a bad relationship and he is guessing that he might have a bad one with you as well. But you know what, that’s his baggage. You need to tell him that you will give him two weeks of alone time to figure out his old relationship and then come to you. After two weeks are over, you will stop waiting for him. That’s enough time for him to get over his past and learn from his mistakes. He's already taken 6 months. By doing this, It puts you in the driver’s seat since he knows you are serious about taking this relationship forward. Moreover, that you won’t be taken for granted but still have a soft spot for him. Remind him you’re not asking for a marriage. You just want a strong, stable man who can commit to being there for now. Later as things progress, you can move to another step. Speak to him face to face about this. Remember you don’t want a shadow of another person in the relationship. Play your cards too.

163 comments:

vikram said...

Any suggestions for a bad relationship going worse. What avenues are open. The woman he loves is apparently 'happily married' or so it seems, and doesn't give a damn for his 'so called love- lust feelings'Please advice LOVE GURU :)

Madhuri Banerjee said...

If she's happily married, let her be. Find more single fish in the sea :)

Unknown said...

Dear love guru
I am a finel year student, and i am in love with a girl last two year, she is my class mate but last year he lefted me, with a poor reasion, i am not satisfied with the reason of her, she said me go away from my life, maine uski boht request ki but avoide all of them and my feelins also,
One year has pass....
When she want call me but if i say her to come back in my life, she change the topic, never discuss on this topic, but after talking to her i get very upset for next few days....
Please tell me love guru what i have to do, i can't live with her, I love her realy....
Please love guru help me....

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Sachin,
I know you would have invested a lot of your emotions and time with this girl. But she clearly does not want to be with you. It's hard. I understand. But you can't make someone love you if they don't want to. Isko jaane do dost. Aur milengi. I promise.
ALso keep your mind and body occupied. Everyday do something new with your life. Anything new. Even if it is a small thing. Do this for yourself. Record it. Write it, take a photo of it, anything.
Don't chase after girls. Let them chase after you.
Dheere dheere hoga. Be strong.

Love
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

I lv sum1 also hv rltn with him around 1yr but nw he is no more wid me. he has another girl in hs life i m sure dat he did'nt love her truely but i want hm bck. plz help me

Madhuri Banerjee said...

I'm sorry, I can't read short forms.
Please give your name as well.
Thank you.

Unknown said...

dear love guru
im shubham and im in twelth standard i love a girl from last three years but she seems not to care...she is a very good friend of mine and he consider me as a very good friend of her but she dont like things like girlfriend boyfriend or love..she hates this thing she never say yes to any boy ....but i love her from core of my heart i left my heart open in front of her but she dont answer a thing..she says that she loves me but as a friend ..what possible things can i do other then forgetting her please tell ma'am...thank you ..i hope ull provide me with some guidence .
i will wait for ur answer thank you.

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Shubham,
I think she's already answered you. She likes you as a friend and she wants to concentrate on her studies. So let her be. Honestly I think you need to focus on your studies too. YOu have a long road ahead and your grades now will determine a lot of things. Don't push her too much or she won't even be your friend.
Take care.
Madhuri

asian dating said...

For me, giving time for someone who have been struggling for a bad break-up is a nice and sacrificing idea. It is a prove that you are willing to make a sacrifice just to let him heal his heart totally. I can say that if he really loves you he will surely do something just to move on and be with you for the moment. It's not the presence that matters in a relationship;it's the commitment that should be proven by both parties.

Anonymous said...

Hello mam please help me.
i have bf.i love him alot lotttt. Our afffair is about 2 yrs.now i got to knw he also extra affair with my best frnd..i asked him he accepted and i told my beat frnd niki about dis. He played double game with both of us. The problem is i cnt leave without him n even my frnd. Tell me suggest me how can i get my love back

Anonymous said...

Hi! I m Ashish.I love with my friend who is already married. My another friend had informed her about my feelings.Firstly she saw much interest but unhappy that i didn't directly proposed.After then i tried but she denied to meet me alone.Still i love her and want her.Loveguru please give me such advice...

Abhishek Shandilya said...

hello, LOVE GURU.
I Am From Jalandhar(PUNJAB).
Met My Love (Lucknow) UP,)about more than One year ago On Facebook. Now We are serious For Future. I am in College and she's in School In 11th(Finishing) we are having 4 years Age Gap.Now Problem Is How can Girl Tell At her home about me? as Once her sister caught us chatting, The excuse saved us was We are Only FRIENDS" but sis gave last warning to my gf to stop Talking with me.And she is not allowed to talk with me even as I m a friend(for family) only coz I m stranger from fb For her Family..Is there any way to Convey my gf's Family. Help.
WE are each other's Lives now.Only Problem she can't stand against or Convey her Family. which have many restrictions on her. Thanks in Advance

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Abhishek,
let the girl finish college. There's no hurry to get married. And maybe the family doesn't approve because they want her to complete her studies. Once she does, they'll give their approval. Encourage her to study and spend less time in love and meeting you.
Sometimes TIME has to take the decisions for you.
Remember that life in the olden times was split into 4 segments. The first 25 years was "Brahmacharya" which meant studies only. Give both of you that much time to do something with your life.

Things will work out.
Love
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Anonymous Nov 3rd.
By now I presume the problem is solved? Did our best friend know that he was dating you? Then you shd leave them both. If he cheated on you once he will do it again. Is that the life you want? And a friend you cannot trust or rely on? Is that the friend you want?
You are better than this.
I say start making new friends. It's easy. You have the internet to find girl friends only! And take up new classes in school, take extra homework from college. Do whatever to distract yourself. You'll see how you will grow.

Love
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Vikram,
How are you doing?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Madhuri Banerjee said...

What help do you need Manish?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

mam meri ek girl friend hai jo lucknow se hi hai wo married hai but wo but wo apne husband ke sath around 8 years se alag rahti hai hamara affair 3 years purana hai me uska nam nahi likhna chahta hu taki us ko koi problem na ho.. 6 month back jab usne mujhe sab sb kuch bataya to mera dimag gom gaya mene ek mahine tak us se bat nahi ke but mujhe daliy uski yad ati thi jab mujhse control nahi hua to mene us se baat karne ki koshish ki but ab uska kehna hai ki jo mujhe ek bar chor sakta hai to me us par ab barosa nahi kar sakti me kaya karu me usse bahoot payaar karta hu us ke bina me mar jauga me bahut paresha hu khabhi khabhi to sucied karne ka maan karta hai please help me what to do so i can back my love.....please help me

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Prekar said...

Dear Ma'am,
I have started liking a girl. Met her 9 months back..when my MBA started. She's in my class, and we are like closest friends. Since last 4-5 months, i'm madly in love with her. She considers me as a very very nice person & knows that I care a lot( and even she does the same for me). Due to this additional care n concern for her( our mutual friend who's her best friend and my close friend too..has realised that i like her).Anyways I even flirt with this girl,whom I like..and tell her in a joking way ( that you are my life, cant be without you, will ask you out some day and stuff) and she also smiles and says yeah yeah..right. She tried me asking 3-4 times, by saying that "I hope you just talk like this for fun & you are not serious".
and when I tell her that i'll tell her some other day, then she agrees. But i have given her a lot of hints that i like her, and people close to us have understood, but she doesnt( or she shows she hasnt understood)
Even she is wants to get into a relationship, but at the same time has refused 2-3 of her very good friends.
I have started holding & kissing her hand too, while she leaves, and she never objects. Cant give her a better hint than this.
Kindly guide me how to proceed and make her mine.
Regards,

Unknown said...

Dear love gura im sunny
im in big prblm. Im an engg.student n my gf is a doctorate studnt. I live in gujarat n she lives in Mumbai. We met very, in a month 1 or 2 time. As our relationshp is very strong we never fight we are satisfied with each other n we are very happy. But a big prblm is there. My prblm is that she 4yrs younger thn me. She is in final year and im in 1st year. But for thinking of mariage im unable to manage everything. I wil cmplete my engg after 4years n she wil cmplete dis year only. But as the time passes she wil run to the age of mariage n whn i wil get my job thn she wil b too old to get maried as her parents wnt a guy who earn wel have good salary n tkcr of her. But it is not possible for me to earn very wel n many more things bcoz at dat time im just a graduate(fresher). My salary wil not be that much high. So what do i do to get maried to her n to live with her forever.

As im in the same profesion as u r. But for this i hav no solution. If u hav plz help me...... Plzzz

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Prekar,
If yuo like her stop hinting that you may ask her out. ASK HER OUT. Don't hide behind your feelings. Be a man and let them out in the open and see where you stand.
All the best!

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Sunny Singh,
Whoa! Calm down. Let the relationship evolve. Get to know each other. If things are going well, why do you want to rock the boat from now? Marriage can happen later too. Take a loan then and set up house and a life. Pay back when both of you start working. If you're hell bent on making it work, it will. No matter what circumstances and situations.
Best of Luck!

Anonymous said...

Hey love guru,
I seriously need ur help!
actually i hv a long story of my love,which i may say u later.
I am very confused between two girls.
One whom i loved unconditionally for 5 yrs and the other who loves me a lot.
1st girl - Anuska
2nd girl - Namrata

you know my story is a bit dramatic but actually very hurting.
Anuska who loved me but now denies to accept so and for whom i waited
for five years.I loved her very much,In school life i stared at her continuously every period, antytime.But she never returned me the love,no problem.She had become my life and i had determined that i will never bring any girl close to me.but time passed and namrata came to my rescue.At that time i was in great depression in Anuska love.Than Namrata came as a friend of Anuska and helped me to know her actual feeling for me.Namrata than always quarreled with me.And i always went to make her mind because i know only she can bring her close to me.Slowly she became my best friend.and than,i don't know how, but we started loving each other.there is also a story behind that how we came close.
Now she loves me a lot and i cannot think a day without her because it has become our habbit to talk to through mobile every time.But i loved Anuska from beginning.What should i do?
i cannot forget anuska,coz i have tried to do so but i was unable.
I don't know will Anuska accept my love or not or love me....
I cannot do anything but the thing i can do is to return the the love of Namrata.coz i know how much it hurt to know that whom i love doesn't love me.
Please help me...........
if you need any more information i can give you.but please help me........i need ur suggestions..

Abhishek Shandilya said...

Thanks for advice mam, now I do is following yur advice , even I hv completed my graduation with good marks and soon I will hav job in my hand but I will wait for age 25 and let my gf complete her studies , so that we get no problems in future. Afterall experts advice have always some good result.
Thanks

Unknown said...

Hello mam
I am ankush and my problem is i was in relation with a girl and i always make her bound and keep her in limits and she alwayswanst totally freedom thats why she does not share anything with me and that arise doubts in me and all because of that i fight her often. She hate my anger but i can't control that and later her parents starts looking a boy for her marrige and for that she tries to generate gaps but she tried it in a moment and i do not tolerate that and i fight again and so later she said its all reason formy gap activities, i always fight her and make her cry She is so soft by heart and at last for no any reason i again fight her and abuse her when she was having exams and she told me earlier please do not come in my studies that may keep us away if you try ever and i often fight in her exams and then she gone from my life and i got when i think all about the time we spend she love me a lot she always care for me and she fear that i do not do anything wrong in anger. But my anger make me lose my precious gift my love. Now is there any way that i can find her, i will never tease her ever and i will ever care for her and neither fight. please if you can help me.

Abhishek Shandilya said...

@Ankush:- Think Once, just imagine yu as her place and now imagine someone abusing yu again and again 'as u explained' , and even in exam mentally distract u from studies, HOW Would you feel for The Person? I know she's yur love, but either trust her truly or leave, but Now yur situation is bad. You should Feel sorru To her, You should Approach her and tell true 'what care yu have for her'. Hope She will Understand you, Afteral u both were in relationship , which means u hv understanding b/w two.
My suggestion:- never hurt ur Love.

Anonymous said...

hi mam,
i fell in love with my best friend(v know each other since 3rd) since 2 yrs..six months back,she started to have feelings for me n we had 2 month relationshp bt den due to long distant relationship,her feelings went off..its been 5 months she s dating a guy nw...2 months ago i said smethin dt made her angry....v just din have any contac since 2 months...nw v r in contac n i hve apologise to her for my actions...i just want to ask how to get her fall in love wit me again...i really love this girl...n wud take d hardest step to pursue her ....nikhil

Anonymous said...

Hello ma'am,
I dont know where to start i am totally broken i love someone from other country guyana . i love him very much. but he thinks that i am cheating on him. he does not understand my language and culture. but still i tell him everything in some way.its not he does not love me but he said he cant be with as he thinks i am cheating him. but i am not. when i want to tell he is not ready to listen.our relation is so messed up. i dont know how to make up everything.

Unknown said...

Hi loveguru...i thing u r ri8 person that could help me...i'm BE student i'm in love with my classmate...i want to propose her...but i'm confuse that she is like me or not cuz she looks me during class but whenever i try to contact her she ignores me...plz help me i lv her so much...i'm also afrait to propose her...

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Kalpesh
Jab tak poochoge nahin, tab tak kaise pata chalega?
Go ask her out for a coffee. Become friends. See if she likes you. Then casually mention that you like her. And see what she has to say.
All the best.
Madhuri

ABHAY SINGH said...

hi love guru im abhay singh.im a BE student.I really love a girl alot.from early days from our relations we understand each other used to share everything.from begning we live in two different cities.we used to meet each other.as im not intrested in studies i used to invest in some deals.but i suffered a great loss in it.i told her that its turning point of our life if we had profit.but everything messed up at those days.i had a year loss in education also.at the mean while i shifted to my home n had problems at my home so i was not speaking that much with her.we had relationship gap.
let me tell about her background that she is suffering a lot coz of her family from childhood.she had past boyfriend but he also betrayed her in the past.so she was all with broken heart.all alone but doesnt dare to love anyone.then also she loved me.among her friends also everyone passes rumerous also so she didnt have friends tht she can trust.
after that a mistake happend with me.she have my facebook id n password so she checked my earlier msgs thten she got sex chat over their.i explained that i was not their n at the time i was in pain when my ex left me so i used to be with my bad friends.so they did all those stuff.as ewe understood those things after some time she agreed n trusted me for this.her heart was broken into pieces .i told her that i will never hurt her so she trusted me n gave me alast chance.so i kept my promices alive
about me is i also suffered in past relation.so i used to say her that dont ever leave me .she said ya ok she will not leave me.but im bit scared after a downfall.
as we were in relation everything went on smothly.i know about some cheap guys they point out at her character i told her that incident.tht problm got solved n everything was ok.
after that i pissed of with my life.loss with money and n year.so as i was at home.parents also used to tease me.then same happed with her as earlier she had exams so she went to mumbai for two months.she was so frustate that she want to come n settle with me hear but i but due to communications problem she didnt came hear.n her father got transfer at ahemdabad so she shifted their n gap in communication occur.as she had problms with family she didnt contacted me that much but.once i texted her with teasing her tht make sure that my past cant repeat.she was bit angry.as communicatin gap occur we had relationship problems.as she wanted to do some cource but wasnt able to do so she join inifd .she was like everything messed up n she pissed of with her life as her life was ruined.she said im not asettle guy n parents forcing for marriage so i will got married in 3 years.so our relatin cant be possible wew will be friends only.bit she still love me.as she said to me i was bit shoked about that she is breaking relation n be afriend .i got hyper n said sari ladkiya ek jaise hoti h n all that girls want money only n bla bla....those words hurted her alot.i knew i was wrong so i said sorry to her alot of times but she is not listning.few days ago i told all this to her friend but nothing work.she said i gave u one chance but i cant give you another one now.i want to b alone .i forced her to talk to me n meet me but she was very angry n said no to all those things.
then i decided to jopin a training so i can ,meet her.she already dnt have a number over their so she contacted me on facebook .but i forced her for everything so she deleated her account.
mere pas ek he rasta bacha hai ki mai inifd k samney roz morning ko jaau aur ussey manu n sari misunderstanding clear out karu.lekin wo abhi akele he rahna chahti hai coz maine bhi ussey hurt kiya hai kafi kuch galat kaha.
i know wo galat nahi hai.
i still have hope that iss training k bahane sabh kuch settle ho sakta hai
please please please
please suggest me what to do
n how to convence her now
suggest me some mopre ideas when i will go to ahemdabad
please love guru

Unknown said...

hi mam i am from dhaka bangladesh
i am in love with a girl for the last five years....
she was my family freind...
she had some annoying past and she told me everything and told me not to expect anything from her because she does not want to get hurt again
and also she was a year elder than me so i respected her dicision and did not ask her anything else........
but her younger brother told me that she needed some time to think.
i know it is my fault for being too desperate.....
i could not see her with other guys
but we dont talk and meet since 5th of june because she was getting problems in her family because because of me her older sister insulted me on fone and she told me not to call her ever again..
but on eid we had a chat through facebook she told me.."we are still freinds.but you know our parents.i dont want any further problems,so its better for me to be away from you"...pls tell me what is the cure for this problem...i want your help like a younger brother please help me mam

Sahil said...

Hi Love guru,
I am really very upset about my brother relationship. Actually he is in relationship with a girl from last 1.5 years who is 8 years older than him .
My brother age is 26 and girl age is 34. My parents are also very upset and they are not ready for this relationship.
Girl has no parents and her brother lives in another country where she lives with her cousin sister in delhi. My brother lives in foreign country and he
want to marry with her and doesn't want to leave her. One thing more that girl was in relationship with my brother friend earlier but as my brother friend was
not good towards her then my brother started to tell her that you should leave him. From that day he started to talk her. So will you please help us.

Sahil

deepak said...

hi i am deepak. Lv guru meri gf se ma bahut lv krta hu. Hamara lv 16 mnth se chal rha h. Bt kuch din se wo 2 week mera cl rec nai kr rhi h. 400-500 baar cl krne par 1 baar cl krti h. Wo mujhse jhut bolne lgi h aur wo bolti h mera sim meri bagal ki rum mate use krti h. Uska cel any time busy btata h aur mujhe v yahi lgta h wo kisi aur se baat krti h. Pls help me pls. Amar help kore daao pls lv gur ami o k khub bhalobasi ami more jabo.

Anonymous said...

Hello mam,
I am in love with a girl of my age for last two and half years.We both are in final year but in different branches.I used to look at her from 4th floor, her class room is at 2nd floor.This happened for 3-4 months.Then suddenly she also started looking at me,this staring happens for at least 2 minutes everyday now.But i wanted to get a job first so i did not approached her.Now she and i are placed in same company(but we are still in college, joining is in Aug,2014).One day I approached her to tell her my feelings but she turned her face, so I went away.

I really want her in my life.She is my first love and I want to make it for lifetime. Please guide me.Please.
"Raunak"

akbarrockstar said...

Hi love guru


Love guru i am in love with a girl who belongs to other department and she is my junior. We both participated in an event in which she started starring me daily for 6 days. And the first time I noticed that girl. Later I fall in love with that girl and I am in love since from 1year and I didn't spoked to her even for once.. Whenever I goes beside from her my confidence level gets down and shivering starts. Wat to do in this please help me love guru

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Akbar Rockstar,
Go up to her and speak to her in the language you're comfortable with. Don't try and impress her. Say something which is natural - I still remember the event we did together. It was extra special because you were there. Would you have five minutes to spend with me so we can chat?
See what she has to say and take it from there :)
All the best
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear raunak,
What do you mean she turned her face away? Aapne poocha and she said no? Or you didn't ask her only?
I have a strong feeling she likes you too. Why don't you start by being friends with her instead of asking her to marry you?
Say something simple like - I know you're really busy but I really wanted to chat about a project I'm having difficulty with. WOuld love your advice. Do you think you have five minutes to spare for me?
And when she says - Sure.
You then ask her about something at the work place - like boss ko kaise sambhale? Or how does it feel to be in the new work place.
Ask her how she is doing in the new place also. And start building on the friendship.
All the best
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

hie mam,I am a normal looking girl and I was born in a typical conservative family and I had fallen in love with one guy actually an old class mate,and we both shared lots of common interests and infact I told about him in my house,naturally they dint accept because of caste and mainly because of fear about my future life.I thought may be if he comes and speaks with my parents they will accept him so I left that issue and dint probe my parents further and he is a software by profession but he is interested in further studies and planned to go abroad though his office only
so he started that trails and when ever I call him up he started neglecting me and finally one day he said I cant marry you because I dint expect my life will have this many troubles .I thought may be out of frustration in his office and because of his abroad plans he might be upset.I tried to convince him saying you are working in a good position then what is the need to go abroad and earn you can do it here only I love you and not your job .But he is adamant and he stopped talking to me.Later I also asked him not to contact me in anyway and stayed away from him actually out of pain I did that and suffered a lot .it took almost 6 months
for me to come back to normal stage and my parents new nothing about my break up and they actually dint knew that I was in touch with him.Mean while I got a good job in an MNC and thought may be this will help me to come out of everything and joined .at that time I had been in touch with few other old friends from my college and One guy we were actually a bit close friends I shared with him everything about my past and he actually is a good friend he said these are all common no guy ever leaves a girl if he really likes her,he just time passed with you.He used to support me and push me up when I m down and once when we were alone we slept together actually everything happened.I know that he likes me as best friend and I too like him as my good friend but it happened ...after that we were still speaking with each other we both know that we just like each other as friends but we dont expect each other as partners in life


and now my problem is growing in a conservative family I value traditions yes I have loved a guy but never crossed my limits but now I m just ashamed of myself That I cheated myself and my parents and the guy whom I loved is again trying to get in touch with me through social networking sites.and my parents are trying to get me married and are searching for matches in our caste I got a match and it is almost fixed because they liked me very much ....I don't know what will happen if I get married I'l be cheating some other person so I don't want to get married neither I cant say everything to others

rithika said...

hie mam My name is Rithika,I am a normal looking girl and I was born in a typical conservative family and I had fallen in love with one guy actually an old class mate,and we both shared lots of common interests and infact I told about him in my house,naturally they dint accept because of caste and mainly because of fear about my future life.I thought may be if he comes and speaks with my parents they will accept him so I left that issue and dint probe my parents further and he is a software by profession but he is interested in further studies and planned to go abroad through his office work only
so he started that trails and when ever I call him up he started neglecting me and finally one day he said I cant marry you because I dint expect my life will have this many troubles .I thought may be out of frustration in his office and because his abroad plans are getting delayed he might be upset.I tried to convince him saying you are working in a good position then what is the need to go abroad and earn. you can do it here .I love you and not your job .But he is adamant and he stopped talking to me.Later I also asked him not to contact me in anyway and stayed away from him actually out of pain I did that and suffered a lot .it took almost 6 months for me to come back to normal stage and my parents new nothing about my break up.Mean while I got a good job in an MNC and thought may be this will help me to come out of everything and joined .at that time I had been in touch with few other old friends from my college and One guy we were actually a bit close friends I shared with him everything about my past and he actually is a good friend he said these are all common no guy ever leaves a girl if he really likes her,he just time passed with you.He used to support me and push me up when I m down and once when we were alone we slept together actually everything happened..I know that he likes me as best friend and I too like him as my good friend but it happened ...after that we were still speaking with each other we both know that we just like each other as friends but we dont expect each other as partners in life


and now my problem is growing in a conservative family I value traditions yes I have loved a guy but never crossed my limits but now I m just ashamed of myself That I cheated myself and my parents and the guy whom I loved is again trying to get in touch with me through social networking sites.and my parents are trying to get me married and are searching for matches in our caste I got a match and it is almost fixed because they liked me very much ....I don't know what will happen if I get married I'l be cheating some other person so I don't want to get married neither I cant say everything to others

Anonymous said...

hi love guru...

Falling in love was like having ice cream for me! i have been in this love life for about 5 years, with my childhood sweetheart. i never imagined a life without him. so we decided to live together b4 getting married and are in live-in relationship for about a year.
this is wer my problem starts. he is behaving like there is no more fun in being with me. he always fights for things that did not matter when we were apart. he keeps scolding me. and never leaves any argument till he makes my cry.
am starting to wonder if, he is no longer loving me? if he does not want to marry me??
Please help me win him back. :(

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Rithika,
True love, when it happens, just feels right. And you will know that this is it.
Right now, I would say, please focus on work. You're just starting off in your career and you need to focus on making a name for yourself and becoming financially independent. Your parents may be conservative but you value and cherish them. Tell them you want to make them proud and work hard towards achieving that.
Go out and have fun with friends. Do not get into a serius relationship till you are clear about who you are and where you see yourself in 5 years time.
Let go of old attachments.
Make time for yourself. take up hobbies that will enhance your personality. Be strong.
Love will happen eventually and it will be perfect.
All the best
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Anonymous,
The ice cream seems to be melting.
If you're having so mnay problems, I would suggest you go to a counsellor together if you both want to fix it.
Also if he is making you cry and enjoying it, seriously stop!
Love doesn't mean giving up our self respect for the sake of a man. It means enhancing it because he's there. If he's taking away your dignity, please just take all your things and walk out of this.
He doesn't deserve you.
There are many favours in the world. Don't just stick to vanilla for your favourite ice cream!

Love
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

Hello mam,
I sorry to say but you replied little late.In between i sent her friend request on FB, she accepted it.But one day wrote "Hi" on chat box but she went offline.I tried the same again but she went offline this time time too.I got frustrated with this and "Unfriended" her.Now she doesn't even looks at me.I think i have lost all chances of getting her.
Please tell me can anything happen now or shall i continue with my destiny.

Unknown said...

Hello mam
I am in a relationship from last 5 months. My gf had already a ex-boyfriend. And he is not a good guy and he want to use her only. Now she talks him sometime on a call or a txt. N she told me that she loves you and her ex is only her normal friend. But in our relation nothing is normal she fights with me without any problem. When I said that I lv u she replied I knw...... it happens sometime I want her love....now give me suggestion???

Unknown said...

Hello mam
I am in a relationship from last 5 months. My gf had already a ex-boyfriend. And he is not a good guy and he want to use her only. Now she talks him sometime on a call or a txt. N she told me that she loves you and her ex is only her normal friend. But in our relation nothing is normal she fights with me without any problem. When I said that I lv u she replied I knw...... it happens sometime I want her love....now give me suggestion???

nikhil said...

hiii maa'm,
i am 24 years old and i am in love with a girl since i was 21..
after waiting 2 and half years i finally proposed her and she said yes.. now for last 6 months we are in relationship.. she always used to say that she love me and want to spend life with me..she always said please promise me that u won't let any other man touch me i am yours and only you can touch me..as she had 7 boyfriends in past and she had physical relation with all of them..she used to cry saying that the boys used her and hurted her feelings.. i promised her i will never leave her and then i told my family about her and that i want to marry her..i met with her family members and told them that i love their daughter and want to spend life with her. we were so happy together..but maa'm from last few days she started talking about a boy 2 years younger than her and also her junior in college.. now she says that she loved me only because i loved her but she like that another boy as he is taller and fair and very good looking than me..she also told that boy that i love her but she doesn't love me..when i asked her she said i am not cheating you as i am not doing this without telling..also she is saying that she will marry me but she want to be in relationship with that other boy..she also asked me that whether i will accept her if anything physical happens between them..also she asked me to promise her that i will never go for another girl because she want to marry me..what should i do maa'm please help me i love her truly .she is my first love and i want her in my life forever ..help me to save my relation.. i am feeling alone and don't know what to do

Anonymous said...

Hello ma'm am Deep engg 2nd yr student
i love a girl who is my junior
i was trying to propose her but one day this topic was goinh on i was talking with her and she said all her frieds tease her with my name and she answered them that i am like her brother
i like her now also but dont know Whtat to do
she looks at me now also but am hurted by her
so uske dil me kya hoga yeh pata kaise karu ?

Krunal said...

Hello

I have really good relationship. but one simple but big problem. Meri girlfriend muje bahut pyar karti he.Sometime she not able to give me time. so usaki wajuh se muje achha nahi lagta. we knew that we both love each other so much.but hum alag alag city me rehate he . She is doctor and now studying in PG. so busy rehati he . please suggest me how could i will control on my mind and that negative energy.

Unknown said...

Hello Mam

I am in relationship since 8 months.I have have really simple problem but it will become negative impact on my relationship.my girlfriend is doctor and right now doing PG. So she has been so busy her work. Sometime she is not able to give me that much of time because we are living in different city. So sometime my mind got out of control and i became angry on her after i realised that i did mistake to scolded on her. but i knew its my fault but please suggest me how i can control on my mind that time when she not able to give me time...we love each other so much. but sometime negative thinking come in mind like she avoiding me ..sometime she forgot to call me that time i got angry..please suggest me what can i do?

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Krunal
YOu must control your temper. Your girlfriend is trying to have a career for herself. Be understanding and supportive. Work hard so you can find a life together soon. Call when both of you can and try to connect.
Whenever you feel negative energy take deep breaths and let the bad thoughts go.
Fill your heart and mind with love and happiness.
Happy New Year
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

Hi Madhuri

I love a girl for last 8 year and hopes she also , but for the last 7 months i have a big dip in my relationship. Last May my gf ex boy friend comes into her life and they started chating during this they also say some love words. which according to my gf was meant for me. when I know all this, my gf said that it was her mistake and now i never talk to him or send any msg. But in December they start chating once again and yesterday i found a msg on her mobile in which her ex bf write the word 'JANEMAN' when i asked her about that word she replies its a normal chating " Yeh Sab Usne Mazak mai likha tha " but i only loves you. Madhuri i am in big dilemma wheather she loves me or she make me fool please guide me .... Thanks

Unknown said...

hi maam .
this is pallavi .
my bf always compare me with other girls. he is also cheated me many times . i always cried for him but he dont care.
i destroy my carrer also . for that my parents are also not happy.he always compare his friends gf.
i am extremely depressed . i destroyed my life, carrer, parents faith, own impression everything . plz help me. waiting for your answer.

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Pallavi
Get rid of this man. Be strong. He is not good for you. Find a job. Make your parents proud. But more importantly do something for yourself.
You are important in this world. Do not be depressed. There is hope for you if you believe it.
Say loudly - I want to be happy and successful. I want to find someone who loves and cherishes me.
Now take the steps to do that.
All the best.
Love Madhuri

Unknown said...

Hello mam,
This is Piya,
I love my boyfriend alot and he also loves me.but he is very possassive thats why he cant accept my career.i want to become a star, I have a very big dream about my career but from the 1st day my bf doesn't like this.he is also a struggling actor but he and his parants cant allow me to do this.i want my love and career both.pls help me.i dnt want to get any negative ans.pls help me, I am getting frustrated

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Piya
Sit and think for 5 minutes. What do you really want? What are you willing to sacrifice? How do you see yourself in 2 years?
It's important to have a career. It gives you economic independence and self confidence. If you're willing to be a housewife then do sacrifice your dream and tell your bf to marry you. See his answer. Make your choice from there.
All the best.
Love
Madhuri

Unknown said...

Dear love guru -ma aak girl ko sacha love Karta Hu or vo Mari sister ki best friend ha. Or mari sister help ker ri boot minate ki mane usse. Or gise ma love Karta Hu vo boot achi sanskari or sudri ladki ha ma kea karu please help i love her

Unknown said...

Dear love guru-ma ak sida sada ladka Hu. Mari sister Ki friend se muge boot pale he love ho Gaya lakin Mari sister bhi mari madad karne ko tiyaar nahi ma kea karu

Unknown said...

Hello mam
this is keshav
ma aak simple sa ladka hu muge apni sister ki friend se payar ho gaya vo bhi muge like kerti ha ya ni muge ni pata chel pa ra. Is ma mari sister bhi help ni ker rahi ma kea karu

Unknown said...

My name is satish I love a girl we were in haapy relationship for 9 months with some little conflicts she broke up with me in July and got committed to other guy in August I love her a lot and wanna bring her back can u help me plzz

Unknown said...

Hii my name neel. I love a girl, she knows that,and she is already my best friend's g.f but once i proposed and she told her answer to me was yes,but now she is telling me that she is confused in me and my friend,and she told me that she can't dump my friend and so she told me that lets get back as buddies but i told her that i want her, now she is not spending that much time with me or talking with me as she did earlier, earlier we used to be best buddies forever,we were very close to each other and i made her and my friend together and now i hav fallen madly for her.
Soo it would be a very great help by you ms. Bannerjee if you could help me. I can get my buddy and my love back.plz help me. Thanking you
Regards:-neel

Unknown said...

Hello Love Guru,my problem is that i am in a relationship with this guy since 1 and a half year.my problem is that i don't know that whether i love him or not.please please help me.i repeatedly ask him for breaking up even on small matters.he loves me a lot and he is totally serious for me but i always feel that i don't love him.when i am in relation with him i feel that i don't love him but when we break up then i feel that i love him and can't live without him.also i can't see him with any other girl.plz help me and kindly do not leave this decision on me because i am tired of finding an answer to this but never get an answer.i am really confused.also i do not want to hurt him.

Unknown said...

Hello mam, I m stuck with a problem these days. I am in a relationship with a guy since 4 years. Our parents are aware about our relationship and they have also given acceptance to it. But my problem is from Last one year his behaviour has changed completely he ignores and neglect me when he is with his friends or family. He dont pik up my call when he is with his friends. Whenever he is with his family he never give importance what I say or ask him. He completely neglects me but he talks to me only when he himself his free. After coming so far I am puzzled that how shd i deal this becoz its becoming unbearable fr me Shall i continue or end it here I am unable to make out. Plz mam help me with this..

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Trupti,
Have you spoken to him why he does this to you? Are you calling him constantly when he is with his family and friends?
A relationship is a two way street.
You have to give the man space to be with his family and friends and replenish his thoughts and emotions to come back to you as a good boyfriend.
Try and set up a time when you can talk to him after he meets his friends or family or the next day.
Everyone needs some space.
If he is not taking your calls for days and then comes back to you, tell him it's unacceptable as partners need to keep in touch on a regular basis even if it's for 5 minutes in a day.
YOU can make this work if you've loved him for so long.
All the best.
Love
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Satish,
If the girl has moved on, I think you should as well.
Sometimes people don't know what they want till they see what is right for them. And in the meantime they test out other things.
You will find the right person. She wasn't right for you.
Focus on yourself. Who knows? You'll meet a lovely woman tomorrow ;)
Love
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Shivam and Keshav,
Either you write in Hindi or write in English. I don't understand slang or either. I'm sorry.
I hope things are better now.
Lots of love
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Neel,
I see you posted this some time back and I only have time now after the promotions of my book Advantage Love to write back. I'm sorry. I have dealt with these issues in my book. It would be great if you could pick up a copy and understand a woman's psyche that will help you.
A woman knows what she wants. And if she is spending less time with you it means she doesn't want you. Let her go.
If given an average of 5 new women you will meet every year of your life for the rest of your life, chances are you will find someone who will become your buddy again.
Be positive.
Take care,
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Aditi,
You are afraid of getting hurt. I get you. I've been there. I would rather break up than feel vulnerable and get my heart broken..
But you know what, the greatest tragedy is not that you will get hurt by love one day, it's that you won't! If you don't plunge in and give yourself to a relationship (while still keeping your dignity and self respect pelase!) you won't know life.
Go for it.
Love
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

hiii mem
my name is bhaumik
me ek ladki se pyar karta hu wo meri close friend thi me friendship todna nahi chahta tha iske liye mene usko apne dil ki baat nahi ki but thodi miss understanding ke karan aj bhi wo muje ignore karti hai or sirf bat karne ke khatir karti hai...ab ap batao ki me kese is miss understanding ko dur karu pls..... :-(

Unknown said...

Hi Madhuri (Awesome name btw) :)


I'll hv to say that i am impressed with your ideas of changing the perception towards the Issues and i m pretty convinced that you might help me out as well. The thing is that I've been through a lot of relationships, flings and a couple of serious ones as well. But when it comes to the serious relationships, they never worked for me. When i fell in-love with any girl, which btw sometimes happen even when i don't even know the girl or at times when the girl is a complete stranger (yea... Even that has happened a couple of times), i just want to be with her so badly and all the time. Recently i had to break up with a girl cause of the same reason. I really felt for her, i still love her, and i've been trying to tell her that i really & truly love her from like months. But she just don't see that. And things like these have made me lose faith in true love. May be, where i see a chance of true love i just put everything that i have got into it and then may be i expect a little from the girls as well. Btw, is that wrong?? I feel so much for the girl in the moment. I mean i don't know.. All i know is that i am getting even more confused now, so i think i should shut up now.. :(

What should i change in myself to stay out of this "Love" thingy or should I still keep hoping?? It makes me miserable, every single time. And Even though flings and non serious relations work for me, but sometimes i feel that there has to be someone who can stick around with you for a while or even forever.. U know?? I mean, i don't know :(

Need help, Please
KARAN

Unknown said...

And cani please get your email address for future guidance

Thank you

Anonymous said...

Hello love guru. I am Abhishek i am M.B.A. student. I have lots of friends but i am not kind of love boy. i love one of my friend from my class. she is good friend of mine we spend lots of time together, we have special bonding, she trust me a lot, she always surprise me , it,s feels like we have some connection , i know her very well , she also know that , but i am not able to tell her that i LOVE her, maybe she knows that i love her, plz help me love guru.

Anonymous said...

Hello love guru. i am Abhishek. I love one of my friend from my class. we are very good friends. we have something special connection between me and her. i am not able to told her that i LOVE her, after 2 months our studies will be done and after that we are going to separated, so i can't stand to this thought of losing her.i think she know that i love her , so plz help me love guru.

sanchari said...

me and my boyfriend was in a relationship for a year but for no reasons he broke up with me and later confessed that he is in a relation with my best friend. My best friend also cheated on me and seized him from me and now they are in a relation, i still love him and have even confessed to him and still care for him, he still cares for me but he dosent love me. how can i get him back. please help me

Anonymous said...

hi...mam i love a gal alot n we were in relationship for 2.5yrs. i was in this on her terms ofcourse i do love her but i was blamed for everything. mam vo etna gussa krti thi ki m usse kbi kbi apni life ki kuch batien nai share kar pata tha jaise ki normal clg ki cheeze. i used to share with her everything but sometyms etna darr jata tha ki nai bata pata tha and vo gussa bhot krti thi.bhot ulta seedha bolti thi. agr vo galti krti thi to bolti thi m aisi hi hu rhna h to rho nai to leave me. so mam ek din aise hi normal jhagda hua to maine expect kia ki kam se kam ek baar o apni galti manegi aur mujhe manayegi. she decided to leave me. i was hurted. maine 15 days tak use bhot manaya par vi nai maani to end me maine b give up kar dia qki mujhe har cheez k liye balme krti thi vo. bhot hurted feel kr rha tha m. 3 months baad usne firr se msg krna shuru kia mujhe laga ki she wants to be with me. par vo ab bi roz mujhe yaad dilati h ki what i did.... mujhe bhot bura bhala bolti h. mujhe lagta h gussa h khatm ho jayega but its not that...m bhot pareshan hu usse.... i am topper of my clg ...gave her all my time ...never thought about my career mam. i am in final year of my btech,.....bhot bura lagta h jb vo bolti h ki my love is a joke for her...keeps on blaming me...never says what she did to me......
feelin helpless
what should i do mam ?????

Anonymous said...

hi...mam i love a gal alot n we were in relationship for 2.5yrs. i was in this on her terms ofcourse i do love her but i was blamed for everything. mam vo etna gussa krti thi ki m usse kbi kbi apni life ki kuch batien nai share kar pata tha jaise ki normal clg ki cheeze. i used to share with her everything but sometyms etna darr jata tha ki nai bata pata tha and vo gussa bhot krti thi.bhot ulta seedha bolti thi. agr vo galti krti thi to bolti thi m aisi hi hu rhna h to rho nai to leave me. so mam ek din aise hi normal jhagda hua to maine expect kia ki kam se kam ek baar o apni galti manegi aur mujhe manayegi. she decided to leave me. i was hurted. maine 15 days tak use bhot manaya par vi nai maani to end me maine b give up kar dia qki mujhe har cheez k liye balme krti thi vo. bhot hurted feel kr rha tha m. 3 months baad usne firr se msg krna shuru kia mujhe laga ki she wants to be with me. par vo ab bi roz mujhe yaad dilati h ki what i did.... mujhe bhot bura bhala bolti h. mujhe lagta h gussa h khatm ho jayega but its not that...m bhot pareshan hu usse.... i am topper of my clg ...gave her all my time ...never thought about my career mam. i am in final year of my btech,.....bhot bura lagta h jb vo bolti h ki my love is a joke for her...keeps on blaming me...never says what she did to me......
feelin helpless
what should i do mam ?????

Anand said...

Hi Madhuri,

I met my first love after 28 years in fb. I was behind her during my college time and she was ignoring. now we both are married. but feeling eachother. its not that it came suddenly in a moment after 28 years. I have never accepted any other girl's friendship during those years and I was trying to find her even in my wife too. but could not. after talking now, we could realise we have lost our golden years. we would have married even. now we do not want to spoil both families, at the same time we are dying for each other. we just need to talk to each othet when ever we feel alone, thats all. we feel motivated by each other.

how can we continue this feeling, we do not want to loose eachother's emotional connections, for god shake.

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Anand,
Let me get this right. You fell in love with someone but you both married someone else? Why did that happen?
YOu know not all marriages are perfect. It gets boring after some time and we all seek thrill and excitement.
I am not a moral nun who will say don't be friends with the opposite sex, but I will say that be careful of your emotions. You don't want to fall in love with someone and break up two homes. Unless you're very miserable in your life.
But look from a long term perspective.
Be happy with your family and do fun things with them. Make an effort.
And have girl friends but keep them at a distance.
All the best.
Love
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Abhishek,
Go ask her for a cup of coffee. Listen to her when she talks and donn't give advice if she doesn't want it.
YOu'll do great.
All the best.

Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Abhi
I don't understand short forms. Please can you write the Hindi properly?
HIndi ke short forms mujhe nahin aate hain. Main aapki madad nahin kar paoongi.
But do believe in yourself. Distance yourself from the situation and do soemthing that takes your mind off relationships.
It might help you understand yourself better.
Love
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

hello
i had a crush in class 11 on a gal. but i never told her coz i thought she would straight away reject me. after 3 yrs when i was in btech 1st year i proposed her on facebook and she said yes. we are not of same caste and that doesnt bothers me nor her. i always said her that i wanted to be with her always, bcoz i feel really awesome with her. after 6 months of relationship she said that she also wants to be with me( long term relationship). we were doing well. after one year she started saying that our parents wont allow us for it. she started avoiding me she stopped calling me. but i wanted to be with her so i promised her that i will be with her always. i assured her that i will agree our parents for it. the point i am trying to make is i did what i can. i never cheated her nevr lied to her. after sometime she started threatening me that if i make any mistake she would leave me. trust me i never lied to her i told all my things good or bad. but she never respected me for it. she always punished me for it. she makes me cry and used to say u deserve this. i felt insecure for her. i started hiding few things. but cant do it for long it was a burden for me so i just told her everything. the things which i used to hide were normal things.i never cheated her. 5 months ago she left me after a little fight. i was shocked. i tried to talk to her but she never replied. after one month i again messaged her. she replied to me that i should make myself dependent first then say anything to her. during my exams she messaged me gud luck. but everyday during my exam she messaged me and reminded me that i have done bad to her,,, i am not good ,,,i lied to her. she says that she has no dreams for her life and will marry any person her family decides. she hates me. she says my love for her is a joke. when i say that i love you,,,,,she says what a joke. that hurts me. she still messages me. i dont know what to do.one thing more i would like to tell you she also used bad words for me whenever we used to fight.we were mostly in contact on phone. we used to met only once in three months....tellme what to do....???????

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I had met a girl through a website and both of us had an interaction over phone and met couple of times. We spoke for around 3 months. We both liked each other. Then our parents met, but they were not very keen. Both of us pushed each others parents. They finally agreed. We both were in deep love with each other.We were then going for the rokha ceremony but over there, because of bad treatment my parents called off the wedding. In the next one week she left her phone and went for a trip to a religious place and met a couple of guys. While she returned I went for an inter national trip and we both Could not speak for couple of weeks. When I came back she got involved with one more guy whom she met and wants to marry him. But her parents are not willing for that. I also want to marry her. I tried speaking to her over phone, mail, what's app, chat. Tried meeting her but she does not want to speak to me and is not interested in me. Please help me in how do I marry her.

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I met a girl through online web site. Both of stay in different cities. We started speaking over phone and both of us felt the compatibility for each other. We fell in love with each other. I met her a couple of times and we were in madly love with each other. Our parents met but were not very keen in getting each other married. But both of us pushed and got the marriage fixed. Both of us were very happy. Our rokha was to happen at her place and my family travelled there. But at that point of time things did not happen properly. My family was badly treated and at that point of time in the heat of moment my parents called off the marriage.

Post this we both spoke and taught will do coat marriage. She had to leave to visit a religious place and meet a couple of guys. She did not carry her mobile and also we could not speak. While she came back, I had to travel abroad and once again for a week we could not speak. But when I came back I spoke to her but she got involved with some other guy.
She got completely involved with him. She told forget me, I tried to convince her, messaged her, what's apped her. Tried all I could do. Wrote mails, love letters every thing I could.

To the contrary her parents are not willing to get her married to that guy. They don't like him. But she is pushing. I told her I will speak to them and apologize also but she refused.
She went and met her also on an official trip from Bangalore to mumbai to meet him without her parents knowing about it.

I want her back in my life. Please help me. I cannot live without her. Love guru guide me.

Anonymous said...

hi

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I met a girl online and both of us stay in different cities and started chatting over phone. Over a period of 15 days we liked each other. Over this period I met her in her town. On that evening we both expressed that we love each other. Then we had asked our families to meet up. Upon meeting both of our families did not agree for the wedding. Upon pushing from both sides they finally agreed.

At that point of time she was in USA and pushed her family from there. We had so much of love for each other at that point of time. Then we were to go to her place for rokha ceremony and when we visited there things did not work out great. My family was ill treated unknowingly by them and in the heat of the moment my family called of the wedding.
We both spoke to each other and both sides were in pain. We decided to get married in coat. But she had to go with family to a religious place and meet a couple of guys upon families compulsion. The entire trip took a 10 days. She did not carry her mobile for communicating. Upon her return I had to go abroad. I could not speak to her during that time.

Upon returning when I tried to speak to her she was in love with some one else. She wanted to marry this guy. He stays in a third city. He is the guy whom she had met upon her religious trip. But her parents are not willing to get her married to him. But she is hell bend on marrying him.

I have tried to speak to her, message her, whats app everything possible. But upon speaking she says she loves him and cannot come back. I want to marry her and want her back. Please help me in this pursuit to get her back.

Regards
Abhishek

Unknown said...

hi mam.
i love some one .we r together form last 1 year we love each other a lot.
but her family is forcing her to marry som whr else,
n we r so tensed .
see told her mother about uss.
but see is not agree for dat.
we cant live without each other..
plz help m out what should we do..

plzz...plz...plz...

Anonymous said...

Mam i want to weather my girlfriend loves me or not she is two year older than me and we are in relationship but she is leaving in another state and i luv her so much but i want to know weather shelove me or not plz help me...mam....

Deepak said...

Yrr mujhe luv hi ni hota, pta ni sab fake lagte h !!!

Anonymous said...

Maa'm, I am an undergraduate 1st year student. I have 'social anxiety disorder'. But recently I have fallen for a girl in my college. Our eyes met few times. But I fear to approach her. I don't want to lose her without telling my feelings. I want to tell her everything including my phobia. Will it be a good idea? Plzz help..

Unknown said...

Dear love guru
i am hemal patel from Gujarat. I'm in First year engineering. I was in relationship with my best friend's cousin.when i proposed her she says yes. Everything was going completely good between us. As soon as after three months she had broke with me. When i asked for reason she said she don't want to brake trust of her parents about her. I know she also loves me a lot.but why she want to hide ? I tried so many times to convince her but she always says no . But i can't erase her from my heart. I loved her , i love her, i'll love her. Plzz give me a good guidance to convince her.plzz love guru.

Anonymous said...

Dear love gure.... I am prayas..
I am 3rd year enginering student, me ek ladki se pyar karta hu, me uske sath 5 years se friendship me hu, last year mene use propose kiya, and she loves me a lot, and me also.. Meri mazak karne aadat hai, abhi kuch dino pehle mene uski mazak me kuch keh diya use bura laga, ab uska cell band hai 3 dino se, vo aaj ghar chali gai, me usse bat nahi kar pa raha hu, isse pehle jub bhi vo ghar jati thi humari bat hoti thi.. Ab vo naraz hai me kya karo.... Isse pehle bhi vo kai bar naraz huii, lekin vapas bhi vo khud aai... Me apni relationship sudharne ke lie kya karu,, kese manau use.....

Unknown said...

Hi Love Guru,

I want to ask or rather a query from me.

I am 32 M and married and now 06 months back i met my old collouge. She is also married. I have shared my felling with her. She was surprised that i used to follow her on facebook and admire her beauty a lot. She keeps saying that she is very ordinary girl and I keeps her sending Gm messages which respond everytime. She know that i love her since i have confessed my love towards her several time infact many times. But she always comes with one statement that " We are good friends".

Now recently i have obsereved that she call me and if my phone is busy then she calls me continously also if she talks, she inquires or ask questions who is the girl with whom i keep talking or if i dont receive call she keeps asking with whom i am roming and where i am etc etc.. Also she agrees to meet me but keeps saying that we are friends.

I am confused what does she means and whatz going in her mind.

Can you help me to understand her pls

Regards,
Confused Buddy

Shruthi said...

Hi madhuri.....im in very deep trouble .....is there a chance you give personal advice through a call pr meeting??
Shruthi

Madhuri Banerjee said...

I will recommend a counsellor for you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Madhuri.
I am in a pretty messed up situation just because of my mistakes.
My Girlfriend does not trust me anymore.
It just happened because of my faults.
And the things that i should have never kept a secret from her.
Please help me out of this situation.
I am deeply in love with her.
I just want to earn her trust back on me.
I am not able to do things without her.
Please reply ASAP.
Varun

GAURAV CHAKRABORTY said...

Hi mam I am Gaurav chakraborty . am In 12 class. me pehle she shuruat karta hun me ek ladki Jo ki class 9 me padhti he USSe bahut zayada pyaar karta hun pehle to mene bahut soocha ki kya me ye thee kar rah a hun par phir dimag me ye khayal aaya ki pyaar ki koi age nahi hoti WO mere tution me padhti this actually pichlay 3 years se padhti thi par mujhay ye ISSI year pata chala ki me usse pyaar karne laga hun kiwi tarah se himmat Kar ke mene ussko propose kia usne Kaha ki us koi boyfriend bhi he me puri tarha se udaas ho gaya us din keep baad se AAj tak mere ration ki neend udgai use jitna bhoolne ki kosish karta hun utna WO yaad aati he us I ek hansi dekhne ke lia me Taras jaata hun mine kai baar sucide Marne ki bhi kosish ki parr harbaar much name much hojaata he ab aap hi batao ki me kya karun

GAURAV CHAKRABORTY said...

Hi mam I am Gaurav chakraborty . am In 12 class. me pehle she shuruat karta hun me ek ladki Jo ki class 9 me padhti he USSe bahut zayada pyaar karta hun pehle to mene bahut soocha ki kya me ye thee kar rah a hun par phir dimag me ye khayal aaya ki pyaar ki koi age nahi hoti WO mere tution me padhti this actually pichlay 3 years se padhti thi par mujhay ye ISSI year pata chala ki me usse pyaar karne laga hun kiwi tarah se himmat Kar ke mene ussko propose kia usne Kaha ki us koi boyfriend bhi he me puri tarha se udaas ho gaya us din keep baad se AAj tak mere ration ki neend udgai use jitna bhoolne ki kosish karta hun utna WO yaad aati he us I ek hansi dekhne ke lia me Taras jaata hun mine kai baar sucide Marne ki bhi kosish ki parr harbaar much name much hojaata he ab aap hi batao ki me kya karun

SAM said...

Hi, I and a girl was bestfrnd from class 8th and both love each other but have'nt told each other but now i have purposed her and she had tell that everything changes/spoils after saying that but i refuse her and get continued. But now i dnt kn w what happened we are going far but today i talk with her and she said, that firstly when we were best frnd we were good and talk unevenly but now she hesitates. i said that we love each other now and even bfre so there is no change. then now i wanna solution for this bcz if ask her she is abt to cry which i cant see. SHE REALLY LOVES ME OR I ALSO LovES HER A LOT.

Anonymous said...

Maira 5 saal ka relation tha bt break up hogya 1.30saal pehle n usne bechme new gf bhi bana li thi bt wo maire Sath bhi tha as before wo abhi bhi maire Sath bf ke Tara ke hota hai jb hota hai but wo move on kar chuka hai leken mai nai kar pai abhi tak usko mana karna bhi Acha nai lagta please btao ke mai kaise move on karu ??

Anonymous said...

Hi Mam,

I am in great dilemma ,I am 28 yrs engineer, I came to USA 2 years back . After one year when I went for vacation to India my parents fixed boy for me. He was in India and I was in USA. My finance never bothered about me or cared about me during this time. We hardly talked during this one year.He does not show any curiosity about my life. I think he is not bad but he is shy(He is person who goes by book rules or principles). I had one friend/colleague here , we spent lot of time together , and I developed feelings for my friend here. He had proposed me in spite of knowing that I am engaged, his care and devotion made me get close to him. Now my parents are planning for wedding, I am in great confusion , how should I deal with this, my friend is out of caste and my parents would oppose , I am not sure if I would be able to develop feelings for my fiance anytime ,I do not want to hurt my parents or his parents as well (his parents are really good). Also I think I would not be able to forget those feelings developed with my friend. Please guide me.
Thanks and Regardsn

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear
If you don't have feelings for someone please let your parents know. Ask them if they want your happiness. Ask them for forgiveness. Ask them for time. It's easier to break off an engagement than a marriage. Tell them to postpone the marriage if possible so you can spend more time with your fiancé and really take a call. People will keep coming into your life to distract you. YOu will need to stick to one person who cares for you and loves you. Choose wisely. Best of luck.

bhagyashri said...

I have also love problem cn you help me n suggest me wt cn ido?

m also want that now aftet contact you, I ll get my love n nt wnt to lost him.

Unknown said...

Mame.....i love a girl who is in my family she is my cousin when she stays with me i always feel she loves me by her behavior.
I got feelings by her ..when i proposed her she says i never talk to u in whole life . But in function she gives me cake by calling me by my name she smiles by seeing me i want to know what is this mame plzzz help me out

Anonymous said...

Hello madam,

I have been in friendship with one girl for about 2yrs ...then in light of our close bond, understnading, we fell in love with each other... We were NOT in so called relationship.. but we proposed each other..and were talking hanging out enjoying together for another 2yrs. We live in two diffrnt cities now. In Mar'14, she came with this break up and told me certain reasons. We did discussed on it so many times..i suggested her so many solutions on the issues...but she is in denial mode...she doesnt want to keep any contact with me...We do have some family issues relating to marriage..but i am ready to cope with those and resolve ..Since last 3months i am consistently following her..messaginf her, emailing her..but she doesnot give any response.. she once just replied.."dnt keep hopes with me..cut the contacts ..". It is very important phase of my life..now want to get settle..but it seems like i have lost everything as she isnt der.. Please advise me.

Thanks,

Unknown said...

Hi mam,
I am rishabh and i love a girl name aditi. I talked to her on the phone for the first time around six months back. Although first chat was professional and it was not but slowly and gradually i started talking to her. We became best friends. I mean i was in love due to her voice slowly i came to know she is a very beautiful girl and unlike others she used to believe in person's inner beauty. I came to 3-4 years ago there was a guy in his life and they were so much in love with each other but unfortunately the boy died in an accident and till date she says i m never gonna love someone again.
Now i am a yadav and she is a bhardwaj, and she is 4 years older than me but i dont care for that, i mean age of a person doesn't affect me. Also she doesn't have father and her mother hates Yadavs as because once they were cheated by one in business. Due to that her mother hates all of them and now she is forcing her to marry a navy captain who is a bhardwaj also but she dont want to marry and she says that to me. I dont know what to do like i am in a total dilemma. We talk every day and she really like talking to me and enjoy sharing fun talks. But how do i revoke the feeling of love in her heart?
Please help me.
Its like no life in front of that. Sometimes i feel like she also likes me and she dont wanna say because of the bitter experience after her first love died and above that she dont like getting emotional. Its like knowing that you are in love and you don't want to confront it. Rather than turning back on it. She even says if my mother is gonna force me, i will marry that guy but i would never be able to love him.
I dont know how to handle these situations. Please for God's sake
Help me mam :(

Anonymous said...

Hi love guru... meri gf name mujh see naraj hi usne break up keya hii plz help me ma uka bina nhi rah skta

Unknown said...

hello maam,
i was in relationship with a girl for last 4 years.i love her a lot and same was with her.in between i met an acciedent a serious one due to which i hampered my vision and was unable to continue my carrier (iam a commercial pilot).she had waited for me foe 1 year as her parents wanted her to get married in same cast.now she seems to be different person.she says now she dont feel any thing for me.she dont like me.i tried everything to convince her but after a while all in vain.please help me.iam in trouble and she is dragging me behind iam suffering a lot on both fronts.iam trying to do things for my carrier but could not give my 100%.she also met my parents regarding marriage and all but she never talked to her parents. she says she cant face them as iam unemployed and have nothing to stand.please show me the way. iam in trouble

Anonymous said...

Hi! Luv guru, mera ek boyfrnd hai 2 mahine me hi hum kafi close aa gaye.maine usse apni studies me help maangi to usne kafi help ki hai, abhi bhi karta hai meri care bhi bahut karta hai time bhi deta hai ek gud bf ki jitni qualities hoti hai wo sab usme hai. Par usne mujhe kaha k main tere saath serious hoon or honest rahna chahta hoon so apni saari gfs k baare me bata diya infact kisse kitna close hai ye bhi bata diya, abhi kisse milta hai bata deta hai. Par ek din maine uske watsapp par apni sis ka msg dekha gudmrng baboo, muaahhhh. Jabki maine pahle apni sis se no maanga to usne mana kar diya k uske pass nahi hai uski usse baat nahi hoti. Ot achanak se wo msg to mere bf ne kaha k ye usne meri sis ko bheje kyunki wo pareshaan thi to usko cheer up karne k liye bheje main maan gayi or kuch nahi kaha fir ek din meri sis galti se apna phone mere pass chod gayi watsapp on tha maine open nahi kiya par last msg tha muaaahhhh. Maine tab bhi ignore kiya fir mujhe apni sis k phone ka code pata chala to wo bhi uski date of birth. Tab tak meri sis ko bhi nahi pata tha k hum relation me hai use pata tha k hum studies se related baat karte hai. Usne mujhe or meri sis ko kisi ko bhi hamari baat hoti hai ye bataane ko mana kiya. Meri sis k mobile me uski photo bhi thi, infact wo har choti detail iske saath discuss karti hai k aaj kaha gayi thi lip shade kaunsa liya aaj poore di kya kiya. Maine or mere bf ne meri sis k liye party plan ki par usne mana kar diya k uska uske frnds k saath plan hai or ek din pahle jaakar uske saath birthday celebrate kiya or usne use gift bhi dilaya. Jab maine mere bf se poocha to usne mujhe samjhaya k apni studiea par dhyan de or breakup kar diya kyunki maine without permission apni sis ka phone or cupboard checck kiya. Fir hum ache frnds the par ab bhi wo dono milte hai baat karte hai main agar kuch pooxhti hoon to jhooth bolte hai. Usne maine usko jo kuch bhi kaha ya poocha sab meri sis ko bata diya to meri sis ne mujhe three wks tak aate jaate roz sunaya. Main ye sab hone se pahle usko bata chuki thi k hum relation me hai. To ab main ye janaana chahti hoon k kya wakai me do mahine me hi kisi k close aa jaana characterless logo ka kaam hai. Kya apne bf k baare me jaanana kuch galat in sab cheezo k baare me agar maine pooch liya to kya galat tha mujhe nahi poochna chahiye tha. Normal frndship se kisi ki shaadi kaisr tootti hai. Apni gf ko apni frnd k baare me bataane me kya jaata hai. Kya main wakai me narrow minded hoon. Plz guide me.

Unknown said...

We are committed for last 2 yrs now and he used to say that he wants to marry me he will not live without me ever he loved me so much but now he went for his job to other place from 2 months he is saying I want to concentrate on my career don't want to think about anything except that n one day I saw his friends profile there I saw some msg written u not going for date so my bf replied yeah she will come home and then we will go but I'm far away from him the. I asked and he told me he is attracted to his colleague I asked him u don't lv me he said I lv u but I don't want to think about it now i want to focus on career now ... Tell me what to do I want him back 😢 He broke up with me and he said lets be friends .. But after that also he is not talking not msgng not calling nothing but everytime he is online on Watsap and Facebook I don't knw what to do now Yeah but today he called me and said that sonia forget everything whatever I said just forget relationship and everything just think about our future marriage just pray we get married .. He said if this happens he would be happy .. Now y he is saying all this

Unknown said...

I was dating him from last 2 years and we were friends from last 6 years we were in deep love now suddenly when he went to Lucknow for his job there he started ignoring me stopped messaging the way he used to I asked him why he is doing this he said I want to focus on my career I don't have time for love n all and after someday he broke up with me saying that he loves me I still have same place in his life but he don't want relationship let's be friends but then also he is not talking to me and today suddenly he called and said that just pray we get married this is only last hope I can give u otherwise main Aur kuchh Nahi kar sakta yahi soch Aur kuchh Nahi bas please help me what shoul I do please 😢

Madhuri Banerjee said...

HI Sonia,
Have you read my first book Losing My Virginity And Other Dumb Ideas? I think you shd do what Kaveri did.
All the best.
Love
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

helo mam.plz tell me how i can i forget to my love.

Anonymous said...

plz mam tell me how can i forget to my love

Anonymous said...

hiii mam.....am ananya actuallly i love with someone....actuallly mam am confused that he love me or not...sometimes by seeehis reactions i thought he love me but sometimes by seee his reactions i think he doesnt love me.....mam can u help to erase my confusion....plz help me to get my love

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Ananya,
Why don't you ask him if he loves you truly or not? Then you will know .
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Anonymous,
It's difficult to forget one's love. If you had to tell your friend how to do it, what would you say?
Can you think of doing those things for yourself?
I'll give you one suggestion. Start writing a diary.
Love
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

Hi love guru...
I am so seriously confused and do not know how to handle this situation.
I was in long term [like more than 6 years] commitment that recently got broken.
Although i am sick at the tot of all this messy break up, i am just more happy and relieved. With that said, there is new guy in my life now. He is super cute and charms all around him. Talking to him just makes me feel light and easy to get over my past. Its been a few weeks that we are talking. He is genuinely interested in me and i feel that we as a pair are hitting it off. Am not really into commitment mode already, but if this is going to lead to a strong relationship i do not want to spoil it.
the problem now is, he has started to ask me questions about my past. I am being frank and told him the truth, cos i dont believe in hiding things if i really want to gain his trust. he seemed fine with it and nothing went wrong. Lately, he wants to know more. Like explicit details of how i liked my ex in bed. I was annoyed to answer that question. so i just pushed the topic away. But i know for sure that he is going to repeat it. Sud i really keep answering all this? will he feel that i am hiding lot of things if i dont tell anything? am i making him run away by telling the details? actually i just cant decide. bigger question is, sud i be involved with him in first place. Cos questioning like this does not sound good for healthy relationship. but he keeps mentioning that he only wants to know everything once and for all, so that he will forget everything and never worry about it later. is that true? can someone really trust this kind of talk?

Unknown said...

Congrats on your Post! This is such great advice and Suggestions.

Anonymous said...

hi love guru... i am waiting for ur advice for my question posted on March 18, 2015 at 11:57 PM. Please let me know atleast how frequently u reply on this page. I am visiting this blog atleast twice a day but not seeing ur reply :( am really looking for your help.

Arya's Fantasies... said...

Hey love guru
i m in love with a girl since 5 yrs.
whn i was in 12 she was in 7.
bt now i hv cmpleted graduation nd she completed 12
we both studied in boarding school nd from same village.
i proposed her last year via my cousin.
bt she rejected nd say sb boys ese hi hote h nd ye kha ki i m supposed to be her brother since we are from same village.
we never talked too much due to boarding school protocols.
bt i hv told her everything on facebook. bt she unfriended me nd whn i message her she avoids.
although she respects me bcz i was senior.

And she has attitude due to her physique nd prettiness. She wants to go in serials acting.
What should I do so that se start to love me and how can I convinced her that I m with her with any condition and alws be with her to support her whatever she wants to achieve.
i can't leave without her.
what should i do plzz help..

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Harsh
She has made it very clear that she doesn't want to be romantically involved with you. Why are you going on about her? There are many women out there who will appreciate you for who you are. First you need to become somebody. Earn money. Get some confidence. And then have a relationship. Leave her to become an actress. wish her the best. Move on please. I promise you tumhare liye koi achchi ladki aane waali hai. I do tarot. i know!
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

Hi Madhuri, I fell in love with a muslim girl, and I m a hindu, but she has one boy friend, always she is telling me that my boy friend is not good he is so greedy, etc. some times she behaves with me as a friend and some time more than that, she shares everything with me, even one day she said if u r a muslim I could have married u. I dont know what she wants, she is getting more salary than me, and she is in a good position, even I m also working. but I afraid to express my love, she also loves me a lot, what i m thinking , every Saturday and Sunday we both will meet and spend some time in park, One day I said if ur boy friend is not good then leave him, but she said I can't bcoz she is my college time boy frien. but always I m afraid to show my love, I dont know what to do. Suggest me should I leave her, bcoz she has already a boy friend, or should I tell everything about my feelings....I don't want to miss her, Bcoz she is good friend of me, If I tell about my feelings she might have feel bad, and I don't to miss her, Please suggest me what to do or what not to do....Pls..... Pls......

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Hello anon
I think she is playing with you. She wants to keep you around and still be with someone else.
It's up to you if you want to wait for her or find someone who truly cherishes you. She's made her stance clear, she will never marry you. So what are you looking for? Love, companionship, trust, faith, marriage? You're not getting it from her. Friends come and go. They've been given to us by God for a time that we need them the most. If you don't make space for new people in your life, how will you know when love truly enters?
Think about it. The answer lies with you.
Love
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

Hello Madhuri, My name is sagar, from Delhi.
I met a girl on fb 2 months ago and we are friends now. she has a boyfriend but she is not happy with him but she love her bf very much.
I like her but didn't tell her because she is comitted i just show some signs that i like her but she always tell me "humare bich kuch nahi ho sakta as long as i am with piyush".
Sometimes i tell her that i want to kiss her and she always say please dont talk me about kiss and all i dont like it.
And yesterday again i told her that i want to kiss her and she got angry on me and said humare bich kuch nahi hoga and na hi kabhi hoga. i used to say her that i dont want to be friendzoned and bhaizoned. But yesterday she said you are bhaizoned and humare bich nahi hoga.
Then i remind her that once she said "humare bich kuch nahi hoga as long as she is with piyush(her bf)" but this time she said you are bhaizoned and tell piyush k bad bhi mere sath kabhi reltn me nahi ayegi wo. So i felt hurt and deactivated my account.
What should i do now?
is there something i went wrong?
I want more than friendship.
Please Help me.

Unknown said...

Hi madhuri. Smaira hre..
actually mjhe mri prblm ka solutn nh milra h.my bf always treats like he dnt lv me
As choti choti bt pr gusa hna..bt na knna.n kbhi nh mnana.is bich mri mre ex se bt hui mre prsnt bf ko lkr hi.n mne dr k mare nh btaya khi vo mjse brkp na krle.ab usko sb pta chl gya h.bt mne sirf isi reasn se nh btaya khi m mre bf ko kho na du.n y bt pta lgne k bd he broke up.
bht roya h wo khta h pyar krta hu pr kbhi nh auga tri life me.m b bht roi.mne bht bdi glti ki chupa kr manti hu.hmara 14 mnths ka relatn h.pr ab sb over kr dya h usne..he said he dnt wnt me or dis relatn anymore
but I want him back.he said he dnt care fr me.or wht ws I thinking for him.pls give d solutn. I want bck im my life pls :'(

Unknown said...

I cheated my bf.he said he loves me.but dnt wnt me anymore.pls gv me d solutn.pls I wnt him back in my life.i really lv him.as I hide things from him.dts y he broke up n dnt wnt dis relatn anymore

Abhishek Kumar said...

Hi... Mam
I am Abhishek.. I love a girl name pooja.
Me usse bohot krta hu hunara relation ek saal se thik chal rha tha... Hum.dono ek dusre se bohot jyada pyar krte the lekin fir dhire dhire me use time kam dene laga usko lagne laga ki me use avoid krta hu use loney feel hota tha... Wo humesa mujhse baat krne ko bolti lekin jitna tym use chaiye hota tha me use nhi de pta tha wo naraz v rehti thi mujhse... Dheere dheere uski feelings khatam hone lagi wo bolne lagi me pyar to krti hu but feelings nhi h ab lekin wo bohot pyar krti thi... Mere se v bohot galtiya hui jisse wo bohot jyada hurt hui hai... Wo kehne lagi me ek ek min baat krne k liye tarasti thi lekin tmhe koi fark nhi padta tha ab mujhe koi fark nhi padta tmne mujhe akele jeena sikha diya ab me tmhare bina puri life guzar skti hu... Mene kabhi nhi socha tha tmse alag hona lekin tmne khud alag kar diya... Finally she broke up
Jsne mujhe bola jitni nafrat kru tmse.kam hai... Tmse me baat tak nhi krna chahti no calls no msgs... Mam Plz help me I want her back in my life with live and affection Plz respond to me

Unknown said...

Hi,

Great Post!I appreciate your efforts. This blog is ever informative. Thanks

Free Relationship Advice

Anonymous said...

I love a girl and we both are interested in each other I this so how can i impress her?

Unknown said...

Best solution for love and relationship problems....

Monica Smith said...

Hello
My name is Marie Scott from united states, i am married with two kids. Life has been a misery for me and my kids for over six years when my husband dumped me for his new mistress due to some minor misunderstanding that we had. So he engage in a fight with me and throw me out of the house, so all through these sorrowful period of my life, i have been in pain. So one day, as i was browsing through the internet, i came across many post about spell casters testifying how they were helped by them so i decided to seek help and advice. but naturally i didn't believe in spells or magic powers but due to the fact that i was deeply in love with my husband, i decided to go for a try, So i came in contact with Dr.iayaryi of driayaryi2012@hotmail.com but before i contact Dr.iayaryi, i was scammed by a lot of spell casters who makes me believe that they can help me. So because of all these, i almost lost hope that i can't get my husband back anymore so when i contacted this Dr.iayaryi, he assure me that he will help me to reunite my marriage, so without demanding any single cent from me, he did a spell for me and he advice me to wait for just 24 hours. I actually waited as he said, so when it was 24 hours after he did the spell, my husband actually called me on my mobile phone and started apologizing for everything that he had caused me and the kids. This was how my marriage was reunited again and Starting from this point till date, i and my husband has been living peacefully and happily. Anybody viewing this testimony should please stop by and read and if you are so interested in contacting Dr. iayaryi for any help, simply do that via his email id (driayaryi2012@hotmail.com) and remain happy. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

hi love guru. i'm ripon from bd.
i love a girl a lot. we used to talk a long tym. bt when i tell her about having a relationship with me she used to angry and quarrel with me. i'm waiting for her for last 15 months. can u give me a suggestion what can i do to make her positive to me? plz

Unknown said...

hello mam

i'm Manoj my girlfriend name is lekhita humare relationship ko 2 saal ho gye hai usse phle wo ek vishal naam k ladke k sath relation me thi unka relation 4 saal tak raha lekhita ne apne ghr me bta diya tha vishal k barre mai or wo usse chod k chla gya nad aab wo dubara aagya hai or wo mere se bhi baat krti h or usse bhi kya kru maam plzz tell me mai uske bina nhi h skta

rahul singh said...

Hey m rahul...
I was in a relationship for 4 years but suddenly we broke up last month..i think she was not happy bcoz she was tlking to another person...n he told her to not to tlk with me...so she broke up..n from last 4-5 days she's calling me n texting me to have a patch up.. now I cant trust her any more but I still love her...I fought with my family bcoz of her n she did that to me like this...so what should I do plz suggest...

santosh said...

Am loving a girl who is well known to my family and my family members know that am in love with her but that girl don\'t know this if I propose I lost her friendship and a good relationship with her family. Am in a confusion so I need your suggestions

Regards
Santosh

Anonymous said...

Hi ..
I love a boy. ..we were close friends before i expressed my feelings to him...we used to chat throughout the whole day.. but when he guessed about my feelings he immediately started stepping back.. but still i expressed all my feelings clearly.. .as i just couldn't bear the pain anymore.. but not surprisingly he refused.. he said that he cannot accept me..but yes... he still cares for me..as a friend.... he is still very friendly..he even now shares his thoughts with me.. .and one thing.. his ex girlfriend cheated him... and they broke up 5 months before.. as a good friend i know that he doesn't love her anymore as she cheated him and went away with another boy...but he still suffers from the memories he had with his ex...he a very good person... he says that he trusts me..he respects my love for him though he cannot accept... ma'am i am a very simple look..i am not so good looking that i can impress him through my beauty..all i just can to love him with all my heart...cannot i hear ever that he also loves me?he deserves love, care and trust...i just want to give him that ..i just want a chance to make him happy taking all his worries.. please ..tell me how? And please ma'am ..Please don't tell me to move on...i cannot... i just cannot..i have tried many times to get involved in other works to forget him..i love to sing from very little age..all says that i have a bright future in my study and music.. but i have become very helpless.. i am neither being able to concentrate in my music nor in study...
Please help me...

Raystein24 said...

Hello everyone, I hope u all are fine. may be ur little bit busy solving problems of me like love idiots, but if u can get time Plz do answer me just one thing.. Whether I was right or wrong.
I belong to other state, other religion, came for job to another state. I met a girl and we both fell in love. It was my first love. She was Muslim nd Me.. Hindu. Her Mom was very dangerous nd scolded her many times. But, still we lvd each other. My nd her mom was against us. My Gf had an earlier lv which ended just 3 months before I came to her life. We didn’t had perfect relationship but still disn’t leave each other. Everything was going good. She used to come everyday to see me in ofc. Used to calm me down whenever I was angry. Suddenly her Mom throws a marriage proposal infront of her nd forced her to marry him which was neither accepted nor expected. They were 3 sisters nd she was the youngest one in age, nd kundli also matched with him. I was new in career, so no bank balance. I stayed in pg, so no home where I can comfort her. She was in a haphazard situation whether to take stand or not. Everyday we used to fight for this. Then one day the groom man, XYZ, came to see her and said that he likes her and due to family prestige she also said the same. The engagement was done. Now I was heartbroken nd so she was. One day, she took stand for me and said that she will marry only me nd no one else. Her Mom came to my pg, that tym my mother used to stay with me, nd thus scolded her very badly. My mom said just one word. NO. But still my Gf didn’t leave me. Now the main part comes, we had only 8 months of relationship, no caste, religion or community match nd she had a bf which lasted 8 yrs nd she was just 1 year younger to me. She gave me 1 night tym think nd give the decision to take her away from her home or lose her forever. My mother was still against her but luking at my sorrow, she accepted, nd decided to take her home in D morning. i needed tym to think as it was a gamble for my whole life. The next day when I called her everything was finished. Blocked out from fb, WhatsApp even from her lyf as if I never existed. Her only voice was, ‘iam with him(XYZ)now’. I was broken and thus she got married with that person only.
The story didn’t end here. She called after 3 days of marraige that y I disn’t came even she rejected to come. I am screwed.
Just tell me. What really happened?? Nd what happened to me was for a good cause?? Ofcource. But I still didn’t get a clue. It's killing me inside.
Plz help.
Thxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Hello mam My name is Manish sharma..I love a girl but she is mohmdann..I tell her about my feelings..She said I also love u..But She said if u love me..First u will change ur religion then I will marry u..What can I do.. Please help me.I'm in trouble..I need ur advice.....

Ravi Dhanraj said...

Dear love guru, this is Ravi .
I love a girl n she also loves me a lot.we got engaged last year. I have some female friends n I behaved out of my limit with them unintentionally n when she comes to know about it she fee l hurted. N now she want to break up.she lost trust for me. I love her n I want her to trust me back I left my every female friends coz I want my fiancee only.no one else. I love her very much.please guide me what should I do to get her trust.I don't want to losse her.

Anonymous said...

Hii mam
Greetings of the day!!!
My name is Vivek and me and my gf just completed our graduation last year i work in a software company now and she also got placed in a good company Actually after 4 years living happily together when my gf got her first job her behaviour is being changed towards me. She seems least interested in me. I ask her is there any problems or any other guy in your life she refuses. She doesnt give me even a msg unless i dont give.I feel insecurity because I always find her online on her whatsapp after her office and sometimes at the middle of her office time. I love her amd she also loves me a lot but these days i think she is being involved with someone but I'm not sure ...mam I never let her any wish being uncompleted. Khud se jyada i love her..uske bare me sochne ke baad hi i think about my self..I don't want to loose her. Pls advise how can I get back my place value in her life.

Anonymous said...

Hi
I need help!
I was in a relnship since a year now n there was this other guy who tried messing around with me.. He asked me to kiss him n all but I rejected saying that it was wrong
He apologized n then I forgave n he took my promise to never tell anyone
So I didn't
Then it happened the second time to me
But I was still so stupid to forgive him again
N it happened the third time some days ago n it was really bad the fact that I gt carried along n hugged him n gave him a kiss on his cheek
I felt very bad abt all this
N I stopped talking to him
I was gnna tell my boyfrnd abt all this but before I did that other guy told him
N my boyfrnd broke
He was shattered that I hid it from him in the first place
I feel very guilty
Everyone looks down on me
I accepted my mistake
But I want my boyfrnd back
How do I get him back?
How do I gain his trust back?
Please help!
I love him a lot
I dint mean to cheat on him!

Anonymous said...

Hi,

Myself Sunny. I have done MCS. Last year I took admission to foreign language course. There I met my dream girl. When I proposed her, she told me that she likes someone else. Hearing this I remained silent. I just left that place stop talking with her. That evening she told my friend to tell not to break friendship. She wants me with her as a friend. I m confused. I can't concentrate on my studies. I can't ignore her bcoz I promised her that I would never leave her alone. But now a days, she is insulting me unknowingly. I can't see her with other guy.
You can call this anything whatever you want to call like jealousy etc.
It is killing me inside.

I just want go far from that girl.

Pls suggest me What shall I do?

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Dear Anonymous,
You kissed another boy and you still want your bf back. Ok. Then you need to really repent. Send him emails that you love him and you will remain faithful. He needs to trust you again. Also don't go around kissing someone or hugging them to make them feel better. If you've done it to get some variety in your life then it's better you take some time off and just be alone. There's no harm in that. Also there are many men out there and you may find someone who you truly want to be faithful to.
Take a break if you need to. Good things will happen when you have patience. Concentrate on doing something more with your life. Love will come then!
All the best.
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Hi Sunny,
looks like this girl is playing you and you're getting played. She wants to keep you as her friend even after she knows you have feelings for her. That's wrong on her part. You need to either tell her let's be boyfriend -girlfriend - Take a chance! Or you need to find some distance so you can find someone who truly loves you too. You deserve someone special. You deserve love and devotion. Concentrate on finding someone else. Maybe that might get her back to you!

Let me know if it works.
Love
Madhuri

Madhuri Banerjee said...

HI Vivek,
Well your gf behaviour sounds suspicious. Have you confronted her and asked her? Most often people will deny having an affair because they're unsure about the new person and don't want to lose the person they have. But truthfully if she is having an affair, it's time you think about yourself. Are you comfortable in an open relationship? If you don't want to lose her that's what it might be. And if you're not happy about infidelity then you need to go for some group therapy and make this work or move on and find someone who truly loves you - even when it gets boring and monotonous. Bcos that's what relationships are. Boring. But needed. And in between you find the excitement. Take her on a trip somewhere or to your fav eating place or join a gym or dancing or something together so you can spend more time with each other.
All the best.
Love
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

Mam,
Plzzzz help me....
My boyfrnd lv me a lot bt he told me he can't live with me in relationship any more...... Bcoz before 1 month we face some problems in our relationship becoz of me....
I know I amwrong.... I lv him so much I want him back..... Plz help me tell me something....
Kiran

Ankit said...

Hey mam,
My name is ankit
Please tell me what to do.
I have a girlfriend from last november. She loves me a lot and can do anything for me. I also love her bt not this much.
Her relative asked my parents for her marriage with me, bt my parents clearly refused after listening to 2 3 talks about her from our neighbors. So there is no chance of marriage.

She just want some love from me and nothing else, i can give this much love to her.
But i have a doubt, i think that v should not b in this relationship. I think it will b better to break up as soon as possible because longer the relationship deeper will b the pain (jitna lamba aur gehera rishta hoga utna zyada dukh dard hoga).
She has rejected so many good marriage relations, she always thinks abt me and cries even dont eat food. Now she is suffering from fever.
Mene kai baar bola khana hamesha khana lakin khati nhi. Kisi se shadi krne se bhi manna kr diya h. Keheti h ki bss thoda sa pyar mang rahi hu. Aur agr pyar nhi de sakte to koi baat nhi me frnd ban k reh lungi lakin baat kro bss mujhe aur kuch nhi chahiye. I lives in other state nd she is in my home town so we have a long distance relationship which is not good, i think so.


So please mam, tell me what should i do either break up or continue to this relationship or b like friends?

Unknown said...

Dear Madam,
I love her more than anything else....its only a 5 months...but it make me feel....i can do anything for her. She also love me...but quite practical in nature....i love to meet her...but same response never received from her side. She get irritated when i keep on calling her...saying why you are repeatedly calling and asking same questions. She also not willing to share our relationship socially...even she is not willing to tell her parents....but when i give proposal for marriage...she used to tell....time is there....and change the topic....i cannt think of living life without her......i am getting depressed and already started to behave differently with other people ...even to my parents....my proffessional life is also getting disturbed....after certain fight with her....i used to cry ....a lot....but she never.....i am getting too weak...which i was not before.....kindly save me from dieing....or completely destroying me......

Anonymous said...

Hi Love Guru , I am girl 21
I have a lover ... and we r in a relationship from approx 1 and half year and we really love each other, our even parents are somewhat aware about our relationship.
2 months back he was with his friends and was forced to drink, and he had no option to deny and after that he lost his conciousness and a his friend girl who likes him took the advantage of his unconscious state and got closer with him, he didnt even remember anything ... after that the girl starting behaving like she has got all the rights over him. And few days back when he got to know about that she is preganant .. she was blackmailing him emotionally and in islam abortion is a sin.. so me and my lover decided that my lover will marry that girl and will accept that baby after that leave the girl if she won't agree for our 2nd marriage or if their marriage won't work... my lover married her 4-5days ago and my lover told him clearly that there is nothing and this marriage is just a compromise for a baby... but now that girl is saying to everyone that boy is cheating at her and boy is a big flirty , bad guy etc etc ... but my lover is taking care of that girl properly... he said he will surely marry me after the birrh of baby... he said he can't give that girl all those rights of a wife because this marriage is just a compromise and he just wana marry me and he is going through tough times and facing everything just for our love.... and few people r telling me that i am coming interfering in their married life... and me and my lover loves each other alot ..and he said if i left him he will still leave that girl and will spoil his own life... i m supporting him alot in this tough time... because he is so alone none is understanding her.. i also gave him time that if u want to u can accept that girl but he said he cant even share a room with her ...

Unknown said...

Hi mam
Me manas muje meri gf ne dump kiya . mera 7 year ka relationship tha . hum sath m padhte the Usne muje propose kiya tab muje ni pata tha ki uska koi pahle se hi h uska break up gya tha ye bad m pata chala to mane socha ki ab sab thik ho gya par 2 saal ho gya tha fir humra college chhut gya Tab usne delhi move kiya jaha uska purana bf tha.m bhi upsc ki taiyari k liye aa gya ki vahi sath m coching karenge hum sath ab tak par vo hamesa usase bhi milti rhi or mere sath bhi apne sare relationship m thi . jab muje pata chala to delhi chhod k bhag gai meri kya galti h . m kya karu 5 din se hospital tha . bahut gussa aa rhi h . uske papa ka numer man krta h ki sab kuch bata du..help me mam

Anonymous said...

Mam I need one help,

Actually I want to propose a girl but the problem is she my best friend...

What shall I do??

Anonymous said...

Hello,this is shiv,a girl was my classmate since KG,when i was in 6th std. I realized that i am loving that girl,she was my best friend,but when i propoused her she refused and said that you will not talk me anymore,i forgot everything,she went to another school.after 7 yrs when i changed my school for class 11th,i noticed that the girl is my classmate,now whenever i see her i feel very guilty,and i try to ignore her,but i cant cause i love that girl i only want to talk with her,thus we have not said a single world to each other since 7 yrs

Unknown said...

Hi
I like a girl very much from the 1st day of college but the problem is that i told my frnds about this and the news was spread and she heard this news form someone and stopped talking with me, i tried to talk with her but problem is that she don't want to listen me so what i do to make her my frnd plez help me to have such frnd like her

Anonymous said...

hello love guru
i m really in a critical condition i dont know what i do n what not i m in relationship of 6 years he has heart problem he wants to go away from my life so that i start my lyf with someone else his mother dont want to marry her son due to heart problem thats why he is doing this but i love him soo much that i cant even think to live without him. but he said no to me due to this reason what i do i should move on or remain with him. i just want to spend every sec of my lyf with him but he is denying he said that jo m chahti hu nhi ho skta m tmhre sth tmhra support system ban k reh skta hu bas

Ayaan said...

Hi Madhuri,
Myself Ayaan I have love problem from past one month my girlfriend is not talking with me and not even responding to me.I'm in relation with her from 2 yrs. Now I am from days I was busy with job and I haven't given time for her and now she is avoiding me and not even responding tto my messages and calls. I have tried many times to talk to her but she not even responding my call. I love her alot. Suddenly she left me alone and now I'm suffering alot with depression not able to concentrate on my work. Could you please advise me and help me. What should I do now to get back her. I don't wanna miss her :'(:'(

Madhuri Banerjee said...

Hello Ayan,
I can understand your pain. It's very difficult for us to find love and when relationships die, it becomes difficult to let go. So for two years when you gave her time she was with you but as soon as you started doing something for yourself she left? Well that's very selfish of her. Tumhe poori zindagi uske peeche rehna hai ki khud kuch karna hai? If you spend all your time with her, where is the time to work, and develop your personality? If she cannot understand that you will be better off without her. Always love yourself the most in the world. Do not be depressed. Love will happen again. Send her a message telling her that you love her and want to be with her but if she can't respect you or cherish you then she can go find someone who will make her happy.
Stay strong.
Love
Madhuri

Anonymous said...

Hi love guru
myself madhuri
last year one boy proposed me and i accepted at that time.he is from our cast and in our cast kundli mila kar hi sadi hoti and he do that thing also and he talk about me also to his parents.but becouse of me only it cant happen mein ne unko mana kar diya becouse at that time i just broke with my ex boyfriend my parents know about him and ready to marry with to him after my broke up i thought mere mom dad never accepted this one he acctully desrve me care for me .and woh hi hua jiska dar tha mom dad ne mana kar diya and mene unko mana kar diya.for my mom dad unki khusi k liye i thought pehle momo dad ko mana lu fir me unko bataungi tab tak me unko bandh rakhna nahi chahti thi
but now mene mom dad ko mana liya but now he says no for this relationship becouse he dont want to do that thing again
i love him so much
every sec of day i am only thing about him
now he tell me u desrve better than me
please help me
give me advise becouse i dont have any one to share this
please

Anonymous said...

Hi Madhuri,
After my break-up with my bf of 7 years who cheated on me, I met a guy online, who helped me a lot in coming out of the depression. He always said that he really liked me. With time we started texting, then calls and even met. I asked him about the future for which he said that if everything falls into places, then he is even ready for marriage. But Now when i have completely fallen for him and we even made out a couple of times, he is telling me that he'll be going for an arranged marriage due to family restrictions and now infact he is talking to few girls too. But he still cares for me and checks on me if I am fine and tells me that he likes me. I dont know what to do. Please help.

Unknown said...

Hello mera naam deepak h meri story kisi movie ki story ki tarh lage gi apko par aaj me bht pareshan hu apni vajah se ya apni girlfriend ki vajah se samjh nhi ata h.
Aaj se 8 years pehle me ek ladki se phone friendship hui wo dehradun rehti h maine kuch month baad usy purpose kiya usne accept kr liya me agra rehta hu uske 2 ya 3 saal tak sab kuch theek chalta raha me ek baar us sy milne bhi gya tha tb bhi sab kuch theek tha wo mujhe bht pyar krti thi par uske baad uski life ne ek ladka aya wo uske sath mil k mujhe dhoka dene lagi mujhe Jhoot bolne lagi jb mujhe pata chala to usne us ladke ko chod diya or mujhse maafi mangi maine socha koi nhi galti sab se hoti usne mujhe bola ki ab wo aisa nhi kre gi fir me or wo ache se Rehne lage all time phone or msg fir me education ki vajah se us sy 3 saal me ek bhi baar mil nhi paya fir wo mujhse milne agra ayi uske ghar par pata chal gya par fir bhi humara pyar kam nhi hua fir usne ek bar suddenly dhoka dena start kr diya wo bhi mujhe pata chal gya fir usne usy chod k mere pass a gyi or maafi mangi mujhe bolti ki tum mujhse milne nhi ate ho mera bhi man krta h ki mujhe koi pyar kre face to face baat kre. ..uski pados ki friends sab character less h wo uska mind divert krti h fir me us sy milne D. Dun gya tb uska ek afair tha mujhe bola ki ab aisa kuch nhi h fir wo ladka mere samne aya tb ye bhi mere sath thi maine bola ki tumhe agr is ladke k sath rehna h to mujhe mana kr do mere sath rehna h to isy mana kr do usne mere samne us ladke k muh par bol diya ki mujhe uske sath nhi rehna wo ladka chala gya me vapaas agra a gya ab me us par vishvash nhi kr pa raha hu har baat par shak hota h jiski vajah se ladai hoti h or mujhe wo kehti h ki ab me Sach me aisa nhi kr rahi hu na kru gi tumhare sath loyal hu me maine tumhare samne us ladke ko na bola. .batao ab me kya kru please answer my question. Lekin ek baat or pehle jab wo us ladke k sath thi tb na wo ladka mujhe kuch bata ta tha na ye ladke se pucha to wo mana kr deta tha ki mera uska koi link nhi h or ye bhi par us din us ladke k muh par mere samne bola ki mujhe tumhare sath rehna h ab humari ladai hoti h kyo ki mujhe ab thodi si galat baat bardast nhi hoti or shak hota h kya me galat hu kya wo mere sath ab loyal h yar me saadi krna chata hu us sy

Jessica said...

'After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Zuma zuk and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or call him +2349055637784 you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS'

Anonymous said...

I was in relationship wid a guy from last 9 years & everything was good but the main problem was that he wasn't settle & i was supporting him throughout 9 years to get himself settled, but problem came wen i got settle as m a CA & he is only graduate, i told him to get settle soon so that we would get married as we both r now 27 yrs old, i suggested him not to talk to anyone including me so that he can focus on his studies only. but as time passed he started ignoring me i was in impression that he is focusing on his studies but later on i found that he is not preparing for his exams as he is just wasting his tym doing useless things, one day i made a call to him which was picked by his office frn then i got to know that he is trying to broke up with me, but the worst part is he said everyone that my gf don't love me & she is having many affairs for money wid other guys which was totally lame, & he also said that she always said that earn more money to me, i din't say him to earn more what i said is only to get settle down, but now i want him back to ask him y he lied as what he said was totally wrong about me. Now he blocked me everywhere in wtsap, mails, & also changed his no too,I think he din't understood me yet, what should I do now plz tell

Reserved for One: A poem

We don't trust enough We don't pour out our hearts  Telling all our secrets, our fears and surrendering to each other. Comple...