1.
Accept, Respect & Space– Your partner will have a difference
of opinion on some issues. He is not your clone. Let him have his ideas. You
don’t need to argue to prove you’re right and you don’t need to sulk because he
disagrees with you. If there are serious health issues you are arguing about,
find a way to convince him. Don’t try to change your partner but motivate them
to look at things differently if it’s really important to you. Respect the
choices he makes and give him space to deal with issues in his own way rather
than telling him how it should be done says Dr. Shefali Batra psychiatrist and
co-founder InnerHour.
2.
A Relationship Can’t Complete You - Don’t lose your identity in a
relationship. Who are you? What are your dreams? What are your goals? What if
your partner wasn’t there? What if he walks out on you tomorrow? According to
Dr. Amit Malik, founder at InnerHour, women need to define themselves outside
of a relationship. Only then will couples not take their partners and
relationship for granted. When you are happy with yourself you will be happy
within the relationship as well. And within the relationship women need to find
boundaries. Just because you are a strong working woman outside, you don’t need
to be submissive and apologetic for it within a relationship. A relationship he
adds should enhance your life, not deplete it.
3.
Communicate About Expectations – You want him to come home early.
You want to go for a drive. You want him to attend family functions with you.
Every couple has expectations from each other. It’s important to converse what
you want and then allow the person to do the things you want, or not when he’s
ready. Don’t badger him into doing things as per your time schedule says Dr.
Shefali Batra. Understand when he’s not willing to make certain changes. Let
those go. Also many times women keep their expectations to themselves hoping
the man she’s spent so much time with, to understand her. Men aren’t mind readers.
You don’t always need to fulfil his expectations and desires. You need to voice
yours as well and remind him occasionally if he forgets.
4.
Boost & Market Yourself – For most women when they enter a
relationship, their entire life becomes the man and when married, the home.
Soon they start questioning what they have actually done in their life. There
get no validation in the house. Gitali Chatterji, Senior Psychologist at Inner
Space says it’s very important to build your self-esteem. Even if you don’t
have a job, understand what you’re doing at home is important. Recognise past
instances where you’ve solved tricky situations and appreciate yourself for it.
Sometimes it’s also important to remind your partner of all that you do for
him. Boost yourself up a little in his eyes. Market your capabilities by saying
something as innocent as, “I’m glad I could help you solve that situation
otherwise it would have been a complete disaster.” Or, “Imagine if I wasn’t
there to cook/ clean/ manage that for you. You would have taken much longer to
tackle/ complete it.”
5.
Pause Before Reacting – One of the most important things
anyone can do in a relationship, according to psychologist Gitali Chatterji is
to pause before reacting to their partner. It’s very easy for women to be
affronted by what the man says, or react to him in a negative way and then
analyse where the fight began and how it all became sour. Suppose the man has
said something that you weren’t expecting, instead of immediately snapping
back, just pause and think if it’s important to react in a negative way and
what else could he have meant. Maybe the man has behaved badly for some reason
and your instant reaction is to scold him, tell him off, have a fight and prove
how hurt you are. Pause. Is it the correct time to talk about it? Is it
something that is very important? Can you change your tone if you’re about to
speak? Gitali says that split second thought that have before reacting could
save a relationship and two people from a lot of angst.
No comments:
Post a Comment