Asian Age Column: Husband Cheated On Me

Dear Love Guru,

My husband cheated on me and now that it’s over with the other woman, he wants to come back to me. Should I take him back?

Angry,

Anita

Dear Anita,

Forgiveness is the most divine virtue. But I can understand you’re outraged and upset. I would recommend you don’t go with your heart on this problem. Use your head instead. Is he a good husband? Does he provide for you? Is he a good father? Are you both loving and caring towards each other? If you feel this indiscretion was just a one-night affair, let him back into your home with a condition that you both will go seek a marriage counselor to make it work. If it was an emotional affair that lasted many months/years, let him see a therapist and then both of you see a counselor together. He has to respect you not to do it again. Communicate to each other and don’t keep bringing the topic up if you see he’s trying to make a difference. Start from scratch and woo each other again. Value each other! If nothing works, separate and find a new life rid of guilt and unhappiness. If both of you have tried everything to save the marriage and you’re still unhappy, it’s better to find peace separately than waste a life. Each of you deserves to be loved wholeheartedly and maybe some distance will put perspective not to take each other for granted again.