5 Wacky Ways to Lose Weight

1.     Be envious – Seeing someone thin motivates us to become like them. And everyone is partying, travelling and putting up photos on social media. You will find someone thinner than you. Save that photo – print it and put it up. She is real. She has lost it. You need to be thinner than her! Do not put up a photo of a celeb who is thin. Ultimately your brain will say she gets paid to be thin so what’s the point and you’ll reach towards that cake! Check out your friend’s pic. Be motivated from that.  

2.     Stalk someone – You hit the gym and you’re bored already. Same weights. Same faces. Monotony. So while you’re there you probably faff around with some people showing off your wit, and drink plenty of water. What you need to do is find a person who comes regularly and compete with him. If he’s doing x number of sit-ups, you do more. If he’s using x number of weights, you do the same. It might be stalking but seriously watch how you will train harder. Also, do run fast if he ever catches you stalking at him.

3.     Kid Mania – Children have tremendous energy and you’re exhausted doing chores around them. Take the kids to a park and tell them to run while you catch them. Race with the children. Play soccer. Do jumping jacks. Skip rope. With younger kids, put them in a stroller and walk around in a park. Just remember, if you don’t have children you should ask permission from other parents if you want to play with their kids. Otherwise just going and asking a child to play is creepy!

4.     Jiggle It Up – Some days you can swim. Other days you can go to the gym. Some days you can dance at home. Everything burns calories as long as you’re not drinking and dancing. Or eating and swimming. Please take permission to dance in other people’s houses. If you’re landing up at someone’s fine sit down dinner party they might not appreciate you putting on your iPod and jumping around.  

5.     Death to Dieting – Everyone talks about a good diet. Don’t eat high calorie food, do not indulge in fats, restrict carbs, and don’t mix proteins. The list goes on. It’s bloody annoying. When you ask Google “Ways to Lose Weight,” there are about 39,900,000 results. My advice is to eat one small thing you like every day. Two bites of it. That’s it. So today, have two bites of that pizza, tomorrow have two bites of that cake and day after have two bites of that mithai. But remember, you’re not jaws! Take a bite and enjoy it. Not stuff your mouth and look like an ogre.

All the best to keeping that weight off during the holiday season! Look sexy. Feel confident. Be happy! 

Also on my CNN-IBN blog.
http://www.ibnlive.com/blogs/buzz/madhuri-banerjee/5-wacky-ways-to-lose-weight-during-the-holidays-14274-1183336.html

Idiots of India

“Tis the season for touring India. And with it you’ll find several people who truly represent our rich and diverse culture – the Idiots of India. Here are a few:

1.     The Staring Idiots – Pretty girls beware. There will be men and women who will stare at you and they won’t do it slyly from the corner of their eye. It will be a full blown, jaw open, wide eyed stare as if they’re seeing a wonder of the world for the first time. It will make you feel uncomfortable at first but you can react two ways – ignore them and move away, or stare back and wave them away with your hand.

2.     The Driving Idiots – Driving in India has nothing to do with how well you can drive or even if you have a drivers’ license. It’s all about how big your car is or how big your ego is. Even a tempo driver can come from the wrong side of the road and try to overtake three trucks and a fleet of cars because he believes he can do it! Small bikes will cut in to the other side of the road because they know they can squeeze in anywhere and get away. It will cause traffic jams but the idiots don’t care, they’ve got away!

3.     The Buffet Idiots – A gaggle of people have come to a hotel together and they believe they own it. They’ve spent money on the cheapest rooms and they want the best service and a right to the buffet first! Forget the queue or lines. Forget speaking in softer voices because it might disturb others and it’s the polite way to be in public places. The idiots demand attention and the buffet now!

4.     The Flying Idiots – These idiots will push and shove to get into the line to board a plane even though in India the seats are assigned and the flight attendant is starting boarding from the back five rows! They’ll speak loudly in the plane mostly about themselves and demand the airhostesses give them free things. They’ll also get up as soon as the plane lands to get their overhead luggage even though the plane is still cruising. They’ll push you to get into a bus and shove you to get to the baggage claim first. And the idiots will probably actually be the last to leave the airport!

5.     The Official Idiot – Ever noticed how there are several people at large department stores to help you pick out things you don’t need in your life? And when you’ve decided to finally buy something and end up at the cashier there’s only one window open for billing and that person seems to be a trainee who doesn’t know how to bill anything. And when after two hours of waiting in line to pay for one shirt, your turn comes and the register conks off and the manager needs to be called? Yup, you’re the official idiot for even getting into that sale, for thinking you should travel, for even driving a car during this season!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year my fellow idiots J  

Also written for CNN-IBN blog - Chastity Belt.

http://www.ibnlive.com/blogs/buzz/madhuri-banerjee/5-kinds-of-idiots-you-could-easily-find-in-india-14274-1181827.html

The Bollywood-isation of Lit Fests: Coming soon to your city!

Once upon a time a Lit Fest was about writers and authors who met and discussed words that inspired and writings that roused thought. It was about discussions and debates between writers who were published and those that wanted to be. It was about chats and conferences that were enchanting and made you feel you were in the presence of something great.

There was a magic all around that flooded your very being and made you understand that the daily rut of life was not all there was. There was a Lit Fest -  a meeting of brilliant minds.

I remember I stood in line at the Jaipur Lit Fest many years ago to get an autograph from an author who had moved me with his novel when I was an adolescent. His words had transformed me to the person I wanted to be. And I wanted to be an author too.

Today, the Lit Fests seem to be about celebs and page 3 individuals who speak well and may have written one novel and a column or two. Literature has truly been extinguished in the name of drawing crowds.

Today everything is about a number. How many copies did the book sell? How much money did you spend on the PR? How many people came for the Lit Fest? How much coverage did the fest get? How many sponsors did they have? No one truly asks  - how many books were sold?!

If everyone is going to a Lit Fest to watch a TV celeb, a Bollywood actress or a filmmaker, who are the people who are buying books to read?

Where has the Literature gone?

Why is the craze today so much about glamour rather than substance? It’s wonderful that so many new celebs are writing. The writing process should never die. And creativity should always be encouraged from everyone. 

But Lit Fests should be about real authors who write for passion, not money, for inspiring, not publicity, for breaking the norms, for encouraging debate, and for challenging themselves as writers, not so they can do something different with their lives!

Most authors are a shy bunch of people, preferring to stay in their small worlds writing furiously because the art of creating something brings them tremendous peace and hopefully moves people to think, feel and reflect. But today every author wants to be “commercially successful” rather than poignantly remembered.

Lit Fests have become about money, businesses, glamour and products – of authors and their books.

I would love to attend a Lit Fest that had lesser known commercially successful Indian authors mingling with well-known Japanese ones. Have a clash of discussion on societies, traditions, and the process of writing, ideas, inspiration and struggle. Instead we’ve become a nation that wants to watch only glamorous people entertaining us.

Please do attend Lit Fests but not just to see a Bollywood star, but to pick up a book you never thought you would read, to recognise the power of regional writers, to ask for tips on writing from someone you have never read and listen to a panel that may not interest you and above all to be around people who believe in the power of words, not numbers! 

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert: A Review

Big Magic Review

I remember when I read Eat Pray Love. It changed my life. As it did for many others. The book that made Elizabeth Gilbert famous sold over 13 million copies worldwide. And like most others I wondered how as a writer she would triumph that. 

In Big Magic she teaches us how sometimes it’s okay not to triumph anything but to pursue on in the light of creativity. In any field this would give you great solace to know that sometimes your biggest success may never be repeated. But that doesn’t mean you stop creating. Big Magic is a non fiction book written to help you develop your creative ideas to the best of your abilities.

Gilbert has pearls of wisdom for all those who want to do something creative but were never able to take that first step. From overcoming your fear in beginning a task to being relaxed enough to be open to ideas that she so vehemently believes are galloping towards us but we are too lazy to recognise or capture, to working with a stubbornness even when people want to `stick you into boxes.’

Big Magic is the coming together of ideas and intention, of overcoming fear and enveloping enchantment, of persevering and trusting yourself, the Universe and finding perspective, of not being daunted by people and finishing a creative product you started.

As Gilbert writes, creative living can be anything from ice skating to writing, to painting to doing something that you’ve always wanted to do but never thought you could because it didn’t make sense. She speaks of how creativity should never be equated with money or success. And that it requires great sacrifice while keeping a safety net of a bank balance in mind.

Big Magic is the kind of book that helps you start when you don’t know how and what to say to people when they think you’re crazy for starting it. As a nonfiction self-help book, Big Magic pushes people to wonder more and quit less.

But I wonder if Elizabeth had not had the success of Eat Pray Love (a title used on the cover of this book to probably make it sell more copies) would she write on trusting the faith of creativity. There are too many struggling, creative people in the world who do capture ideas, and never give up and yet haven’t found the success that she did. 

It is easy to say not to strive for it once you have it. Would she have written this book before Eat Pray Love sold thirteen million copies?

And then I wonder if this book would be picked up by people who have already chosen non- creative fields and are happy in their worlds. It’s a fantastic read for an author like me who has Writer’s Block occasionally. 

But then I realise that this book is not just for the already creative, it’s Gilbert’s way of making everyone creative. And that’s the triumph and success of this book. 

As she says, “We all need an activity that is beyond the mundane and that takes us out of our established and limiting roles in society. By absorbing our attention for a short and magical spell, it can relieve us temporarily from the dreadful burden of being who we are.”

Buy it here and give it a read if you're looking to be inspired and move out of your dead zones! http://www.flipkart.com/big-magic-creative-living-beyond-fear-english/p/itme4jbezjkghg69?pid=9789384898991&ref=L%3A4852034096097345743 

After The Crash by Michel Bussi : A Book Review

Inside the airplane before a crash, a journal with a suicide note and a newspaper that holds the key to an 18 yearlong mystery starts the incredibly fast paced thriller After The Crash by Michel Bussi who has been a French writer for almost a decade and won countless awards for his novels and publications.

After The Crash is the story of two families, a young man and a private detective trying to find the true identity of a sole survivor of a plane crash, a young baby girl who on turning eighteen makes a drastic decision and runs away.

The story is intelligently layered and moves back and forth from the time of a plane crash in 1980 to its current day in 1998 with an update on the time and the date in the beginning of each chapter, giving an urgency to finding the truth before it’s too late.

Lyse-Rose or Emilie is the sole survivor of a plane crash in 1980 and two families claim that the girl belongs to them. A private detective is hired to find out the truth of her identity before her eighteenth birthday and he leaves behind a journal that could reveal it all. But before he can discover the truth, he is murdered and the girl disappears. And thus begins a hunt for the truth by her sibling Marc who she leaves the journal with.

As more murders take place, scandals get revealed and more secrets get hidden.

Michel Bussi has all the ingredients of an exciting thriller in his novel. From interesting characters that show different shades, murders that go back and forth in time, lust between the most unusual pairings, intrigue on if it’s actually the truth and a fast pace that keeps the readers hooked till the last page, After The Crash is an un-put-down-able book.

It is obvious that it is an intelligent thriller that doesn’t require too much grey matter to bog you down. There are references to Haiku, dragonflies, music and art, facts from History and a true to the era account of the time. The dialogues between the characters are thought out and move with the swiftness required from a thriller.

It reminds me of the old Grisham when the suspense remained till the very end. You can’t guess what will happen at any stage and when the last page is turned, you can’t wait for the movie to be released!

Would definitely recommend getting your hands on this book if you like thrillers!

Get it here: http://www.flipkart.com/after-crash-english/p/itme9gcsdbkmsyra?pid=9781474602044&icmpid=reco_rpl_historyFooter_na_na_1 

Scandalous Housewives in audio format!

For all those who love stories being narrated and never have the time to sit and read a book, here's the audio version of my explosive book Scandalous Housewives. Sit back and visualize the steam! And get a copy to read if you think it's good.  Always helps me write more!

Hear it here: https://youtu.be/KXfvDt0CoBs

The Story:

What happens when what lies between the sheets becomes the linen that is washed in public?

Sapphire Towers: just another residential high-rise in Mumbai where the humdrum routine of daily life carries on with clockwork precision. But, beneath the tranquil surface lurks a web of deceit and lies spun by a group of lonely housewives.

Gita, frustrated mother of two young daughters, longs to escape the monotony of marriage—and spice up her sex life in the most wicked fashion. 

Sarita, conservative Gujarati housewife and mother, is addicted to kinky sex and pays a dear price for it. 

Stylish working mother, Aarti, nurses an appalling secret that could end her marriage. 

And sultry ex-model Natasha, who seems to have it all, is hopelessly in love with a much younger man—the son of one of her friends.

Even as these women scramble to conceal their darkest secrets, an anonymous email is sent out to all the residents of Sapphire Towers, and has horrific consequences.

Racy and unputdownable, Scandalous Housewives: Mumbai is the first book in the sizzling new series by bestselling author Madhuri Banerjee, which  tell the stories of the unsung housewives of urban India who will go to any lengths to fulfill their deepest, darkest desires. 

Read it here: http://goo.gl/VUCLNr

A Father's Motto

“The more you give, the more you’ll get back.”

That was my Dad’s motto in life. My mother would give him only a daily allowance since he spent everything in his wallet every day on as mom called it on “nothing.”

One day my father picked me up from school and we were walking back home when I wanted to have an ice cream. So he went to a nearby store and bought ten ice creams, spending all his money. He gave me one cone and then he distributed the rest among all the street children who were playing close by. They were so thrilled to have a cold, chocolate cone in the blazing heat. I understood immediately how lucky I was to always get what I wanted. And I realised that Dad had no money left in his wallet, exactly as Mom had predicted. But there was this glow around him because he was grinning ear to ear watching all the children eat!

These days, every few months, I do spring cleaning of my house. My child & I go donate clothes, toys books to street children. I then open my wallet, and spend all my money on ice cream for them.  And I invariably grin.

You’re right Dad, what an amazing motto, the more I give, the more happiness I get!