Asian Age Column : To have a kid or not?

Dear Love Guru,

My husband travels a lot for work and we stay alone. Everyone is now pressurizing me to have children. I have just turned 30. I feel I will probably be raising this kid on my own if I decide to have it. On the other hand, I might be too old once things settle down. What should I do?

Confused,

Saira

Dear Saira,

30 is young! Please stop letting people get to you! Motherhood is a wonderful experience but balancing work and motherhood can be tough if you have to do it alone. Once you get pregnant, you’ll need to hire a full time nanny who can look after the baby even if your husband stops traveling. Ask your mom/mother in law if they can help once you deliver. Figure out your finances for medical expenses & your work situation. Do a medical check up to see if you and your partner are healthy. Then take the time to think if you really want it or you’re doing it to make someone happy. Ideally 30 or before is great to have children since your body recovers faster and you have enough energy to run after the kids. But there’s nothing that says you can’t have your kid at 35 or even 40 if your body allows it. It just gets a little tougher. Your husband might always travel and not “settle” down. Be prepared to be the main caregiver for the baby for the rest of your life. Then enjoy trying to make a baby!

Mistakes Like Love And Sex : The blurb is out!

Just got my copy of the Penguin catalogue that discusses the releases from July to December 2012. So happy to see this large photo of me on page 64. Penguin and I are still grappling with what the cover should look like. But the sequel to Losing My Virginity And Other Dumb Ideas is called Mistakes Like Love And Sex and it's slated for an October 3rd release.

I hope it won't coincide with other big authors like Sidin, Amitav Ghosh, Meenakshi and a few Penguin writer friends. Like they say in the movies, "the film needs a clean run" which means at least one week without any other release to become a box office hit.

It also needs word of mouth to sell. With so many books just from Penguin releasing this year, a word of mouth will only help make one book a best seller and another an average sales. I pray every day that my book lives up to the expectations and makes it to the best seller list over and over again. It's been a tumultuous year in more ways than one. I'm hoping the sequel will be the bright light at the end of the tunnel.

My Interview in the Femina magazine: June Issue.

Love Guru Advice : Wedding Night Jitters

Dear Love Guru,

I’m getting married next week and I’m having the wedding jitters. I’m still a virgin and don’t know how to approach my husband. What if he laughs at me? Pl help.

Truly Nervous,

Bindiya

Dear Bindiya

It is normal to be nervous and anxious about your wedding night. But you should stop being afraid of the act. First, tell your husband that you’re a virgin and to be gentle. Second, get into the mood of the act. Buy some lubricants for yourself. Light some candles around the room. Wear a soft, satin negligee. If you can think that you’re going to have fun, you probably will. Third, don’t do any stunts that you may have seen in movies, videos or read about. Let him take the lead for now. Be comfortable with your husband. Start with lots of foreplay – kissing, cuddling, touching, necking, stroking. Don’t be afraid to explore his body and let him explore yours. Ease into the act. Don’t tense up. Preferably, don’t have people swarming around your bedroom door! Let them all go away before you begin. Remember the first time will be a little difficult and there may be some discomfort. Try again till you get into a rhythm and let your body go with the flow. Sex is a great way to connect with your husband and you’ll soon love it! P.S – Even if he does laugh, laugh with him. It’s supposed to be fun and the first time is awkward for everyone!