Now that the Udta Punjab
hullabaloo has died down and everyone knows about the Punjab drug issue, let’s
talk about the rest of India where the drugs and alcohol problem is also
prevalent.
Recently I spoke to my niece Aiyana
in my old home town Lucknow. When I was living there it was quiet, conservative
and rather dull. None of us had access to drugs or alcohol and we spent our
days studying and gossiping. But all this has changed in 2016. As my niece
tells me that in a reputed college hostel in Lucknow, everyone has access to
marijuana and almost everyone consumes alcohol.
In her words, “Even if we don’t
want to drink there’s so much pressure to fit in that we succumb to it.
Otherwise we’ll be called losers.”
She also says that there are some
who “smoke up” the entire day but are brilliant at studies. Their parents don’t
care as long as they get the marks at the end of the year.
I just came back from an Under 25
Lit Fest in Bangalore. When I met the youngsters they were all brimming with
excitement and enthusiasm. The founders were 21 years old. The volunteers
ranged from 19 to 24. They were all bright, motivated and focussed. But when I
began speaking to one of them Tarun and began discussing the Udta Punjab issue
he said, “It’s not just in Punjab, it’s here in Bangalore too.”
When I probed a little further he
opened up to say that alcohol was at a reasonable price and weed was even
cheaper. Everyone had it.
“But why?” I asked in confusion
and a concerned forty year old aunty tone.
“To celebrate sometimes, to take
the pressure off most times, to get away from the depression largely…” Tarun
ruminated.
“What would you be depressed
about? You have an entire future ahead of you. You don’t have a stale marriage,
responsibilities of kids, EMIs of a house or wrinkles to worry about,” I said.
He laughed. “We have other
issues. Mainly relationship issues. Studies pressure. Lack of a future in this
country. Corruption. No money.”
When I told him to explain more
he said, “Mostly girls and guys cheat on each other and they become depressed.
Some get into a commitment too fast and then realise they don’t want it. So
they break up. By that time the other person has fallen for them and is heartbroken.
So alcohol becomes a way to get away from it and soon it becomes an addiction.”
“What about drugs?” I asked.
“Everyone has it, knows where to
get it and uses it. It’s mild though. Some of us don’t use it at all. And we
rarely drink. But there is pressure to be part of a group and we all hang out
and drink or smoke. It’s easy.”
That night I went to sleep pondering
about why these youngsters were unable to move on in their relationships. After
all there were so many apps that could help you move on! After a full eight
hours of sleep, I awoke the next morning and spoke to one of the volunteers and
asked if they got enough sleep as well. (Yes I realise I’ve become an aunty)
She replied that everyone was working till one in the morning. To which I said,
“Oh so you got six –seven hours of rest. Good good!”
She laughed and replied, “We
finished working at one but went drinking till four (am). We’ve got two hours
of sleep. But we’re all very eager.”
Later I looked for signs for who
went drinking and who slept and I couldn’t make out at all. All the volunteers
were on their toes, smiling and working through the day.
Then I figured that this
generation uses everything including alcohol as an escape. Apps that help you
get over a relationship by finding someone new to sleep with or alcohol that
takes away the pain of being alone. And they all feel alone. The fact is they
are a passionate lot of people. They are passionate about their relationships,
work, studies, commitments, ideas, etc. And when there are hurdles along the
way their passion dies as quickly as it was fuelled.
But why is this generation
needing escape at all? And why do they need the drugs to focus when they have
fertile minds that will allow them to do so anyway?
Aiyana in Lucknow says, “There is
so much competition that just having a fertile mind isn’t enough. Sometimes the
pressure is so high that the only way to release it is through marijuana or
alcohol. It settles the over worked mind.”
There is a huge generation gap
that is also occurring between youngsters who are between 18-26 and their
parents. The demands of the parents to secure high percentages to get into
college and then get employment, the ire of the parents when the child is
having a relationship, the distrust, the judgements, the lack of communication
is distancing the bond between the children and the parents. So these
youngsters turn towards their friends and social media. Social media only has strangers
and in a competitive world, the friends they rely on and the relationships they
have become either too dependent or too toxic.
“My girlfriend cheated on me with
my best friend,” revealed one youngster Shrey to me. “I lost not only the love
of my life but also the person who I could turn to.” Shrey fell into depression
and started drinking.
A young reader of mine came to me
and asked, “Maam you give relationship advice. I want to be open with my
parents and tell them about all my relationships but they only scold me and
continuously tell me to stop seeing people and focus on my studies. How do I
get through to them?”
In my own aunty way I replied,
“You must understand their core issue as well. They’re scared that they you
will lose focus and not do well. Once you assure them of that they will be fine
with your relationships.”
To which she responded, “I have.
I study a lot but I also need a personal life and I read books too. So what’s
the harm of having a boyfriend? I want to be honest with them but they’re not
getting me.”
Before I could respond my fellow
young author friend said, “Lie. Your parents aren’t going to understand. YOLO.”
Reports show that “During
1992-2012, the per capita consumption of alcohol in India has increased by
whopping 55%, the third highest increase in the world.” In a country where
there is an increasing generation gap between the 60% of the population - the
youth and the ones who can influence them – the older 40%, alcohol takes over
as a counsellor. Another worrying trend from India is that the average age of
initiation of alcohol use has reduced from 28 years during the 1980s to 17
years in 2007. In India alcohol abuse also amounts to huge annual losses due to
alcohol-related problems in work places. Nearly 25% of the road accidents are
under the influence of alcohol and it is also a significant risk factor for
increased domestic violence.
(http://indianexpress.com/article/india/india-others/alcohol-consumption-rising-fast-in-india-oecd-report/)
What is the solution to the
alcohol crisis in India? Banning it will only lead to spurious alcohol which
could be fatal for everyone. Lecturing about it could ostracise the people
involved. And making it more expensive could lead to more crime as youngsters
will find new ways of acquiring the money for it. Showing videos before films
will only make the youngsters laugh.
Even putting a disclaimer in Bollywood
movies when actors drink is not going to change the alarming statistic of the
youth who drink.
The solution just may be simple.
1. Parents need to be trained to communication better with their teenage
children, maybe through regular on campus workshops.
2. Counsellors who are
non-judgmental and not too old in age on every campus who help the youngsters
deal with their relationship issues.
3. Workshops on spirituality, healing and
meditation on a regular basis with the youngsters made compulsory.
4. More
sports facilities so the youth can be occupied with physical activities and
good coaches to help them.
5. Role models from different spheres of life who
can visit the campuses and speak about their own journey and influence them. 6.
Maybe even online apps that can advise the youngsters about relationships their
career opportunities and guide them.
Youngsters today need a guiding
light. They need to know that marks aren’t everything and they will succeed
even if they don’t get into a great college. They also need to know that it’s
alright to have different relationships and move on from there instead of
settling into depression because you were jilted or broke up.
A week ago I lost my cousin who
was forty years old to alcoholism. She had been admitted to NIMHANS for rehab,
she had also gone to a retreat to detox for a month a few years ago. Most days
she was lucid. But alcoholism was a monster in her life which she could not
control. It began in her college when she needed “just one drink.” Soon she
needed more. When her boyfriend left her, she turned to alcohol even though she
had supportive parents who spoke to her about the relationship and guided her
in many ways to do various things in life. But alcoholism was a demon that
refused to let go of its clutches. She died of multiple organ failure starting
with her liver. Her parents are still heartbroken and wonder where they went
wrong and what the purpose of her being in this world was!
The youth of India must
understand that the problem and the solution lies within. You must believe in
yourself. You must understand that even if there is corruption today, the
country needs you to quell it out and make it better. You must know that dying
young and living dangerously is not cool. No one will care or remember. The
only way you can make a difference is to be proud of not fitting into this alcoholic
culture. It may be the most difficult thing you’ll ever do but you’ll have a
life that will be worth it.