Monday, September 17, 2012

Relationship Advice: I earn more than my husband and it causes problems.

Dear Love Guru,
I earn more money in my marriage than my husband and it is causing problems. What do I do?

Dear Pankhuri,
Ooff. Men and their egos! You have a right to whatever you earn because you’ve worked hard to get it and enjoy it. But some men feel slighted that they can’t provide for their family. As traditional roles, they’ve always wanted to be the provider and wanted the woman to be the nurturer. However, since the roles have reversed, they just don’t know how to nurture or provide and feel useless. You need to make him feel as if he’s the provider. Let him continue putting money for the household needs. Ask him to help you with work stuff sometimes. Request him to manage certain bills. Once you have delegated what he can spend, and what you can put in as well, each of you should save at least 20% of what you earn. You might feel flushed with money right now and want to flaunt it by buying pretty things for yourself but this will not only aggravate the situation, it will leave you a pauper later. Also, try and be a little discreet about your bonuses, etc if you know he won’t like it. Instead, you can sponsor certain things that you both want to do together. Like an exotic vacation where you bond or redo the house and his space. Money is great to have but Love gives you strength to get it. Don’t lose one over another.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Love Guru Advice: Lost that Sexual Feeling

Dear Love Guru,
I’ve been married for 12 years and feel that I’ve lost all sexual urges. I just don’t want it anymore. I’m 33. Am I becoming a nun?

Dear Maria,
No you’re not becoming a nun! You’ve probably had sex with just one man your whole life and are bored. This doesn’t mean you go out and find another man! It only means you need to try out new things. Apart from saying the regular things of buying sexy lingerie, lighting your bedroom with candles and using satin sheets, putting on soft music and feeling sexy yourself, I would advise to experiment a little more. Do read a bit of erotica, watch a few sensuous films, and get some toys to play around with. Ever tried it with wax, whipped cream, or champagne? Ever given a strip tease with Pussycat Dolls’ Buttons song in the background? Have you ever blindfolded him and done naughty things for arousal? Ever cooked with just an apron on and surprised him, or worn a sexy sari with a tube blouse and asked him to take you out for an impromptu dinner, or tied him to the bed with his office tie and kissed him passionately? You need to take the initiative to do fun things. Stop feeling shy! Tell him what you want and how he can help. Make sure you have sex at least three times a week! Do get back to vanilla sex after experimenting occasionally to have a normal married life. Now go rock his world!

Reserved for One: A poem

We don't trust enough We don't pour out our hearts  Telling all our secrets, our fears and surrendering to each other. Comple...