Love in The Digital Age: The Dos & Breakups

You would think that with all the technology available, it would be easier to find love in the digital age. It’s not. Here are a few tips to get it right.

3 Facebook Rules –

·       Do Not Friend Him First! If you’ve identified someone you like who is a friend of a friend, first ask your friend to mention you offline. Let him send you a friend request. Moreover, even after that, you need to wait for about 24 hours before you accept. Let him know you’re “considering” it.

·       Tagging, Commenting, Liking –If you comment, like or write on his wall every day, he’ll lose interest and run away. Why? Because he will think you’re a stalker who could be more dangerous in the real world than the virtual one. Tagging him in all your photos saying “wish you were here” is screaming hopeless. Comment on birthdays or promotions with a simple Happy Birthday or Congrats. Adding extra exclamations, smileys and “When do we celebrate” makes you look desperate.

·       Statuses - Be careful of adding single, complicated or in a relationship if he hasn’t put it up. Let him take the initiative. Otherwise, you will have to change it soon enough and save face.

Break up Rule: Un-friend him before he un-friends you. Let him know who’s boss! Besides, you don’t want to see him with new women. It’ll only hurt later.

3 Texting Rules –

·       Short and Sweet – If he asks “Wat’s up” you honestly don’t have to give an entire history of your day starting with your maid hasn’t turned up or your mom screamed at you. The rule of thumb is to answer in as many words as he does, or less. The appropriate answer here would be, “Chilling.”

·       TTYL – Always end a conversation first. Be so super busy that those precious moments you gave to him should be a privilege. Always be late for something. Have a spin class in a few minutes, or be attending to some urgent work. After you say the Talk To You Later, don’t specify when. Soon is a good enough answer to make him want to talk to you again.

·       Landline Theory – If you had a landline and were working you would probably chat with the person once if you were in office and once when you finally got home and had finished relaxing. Now since we carry our phones everywhere, people expect to receive answers immediately. Don’t seem eager. A 10 am text means you can wait till 1 to say, “Hey. On a lunch break so cd reply.” Time makes the heart grow fonder!

Break up Rule: Don’t send him angry long explanations about how much you gave in the relationship while he did nothing. It’ll only add to your bill. He’ll probably delete it after reading the first 3 words!

3 Twitter Rules

·       To Follow or Not to Follow – Cute guy. Interesting bio. Seems to follow a few people you know. Still, you need him to follow you first. Make sure that you tweet the correct things to get his attention. You know the common people who he follows will Retweet those things. Make sure he notices. Once he does, give it a few days before you follow him back.

·       DMing – So you’ve started a chat. Now he wants your phone number and email id. Take it slow. Get to know him better. You can learn a lot about a man by his daily tweets. Ask him questions about his tweets to know him better. Wait a few months and then give your number.

·       All the World’s A Stage – Unless you want everyone to know personal details about your life, keep your fights on Watsapp. Making sarcy comments on each other’s timelines means all those who follow both of you are privy to this little drama. Doesn’t show either of you in a good light.

Break up Rule – Un-follow and do not comment about your relationship. It’s nobody’s business to ask you on your timeline. You are not obligated to answer them. Be classy while being digital!

Lead & Be Inspired: An Amalgamation of My Tweets

So I've been wanting to inspire and be inspired, teach and learn, give and take and set the new year to believe and release hope. I've amalgamated all my tweets in the hope that they make a difference to someone. These are original (unless indicated in quotes) and have come straight from my heart and the ones that have got a response and started a dailogue.

My Favourite Tweets: 

Sometimes an ignorance to alternatives might be the most blissful state to be in.

It might take us years to understand what we really wanted was wrong all along. But that revelation finally leads us on our right journey.

Sometimes the hope lies in something ending and being done with. There is a tremendous peace in a conclusion and closure.

Sometimes, doing nothing is the best action you can take.

You cannot change someone. You're not God. Live by your standards. Nobody else needs to.

We r mistaken to believe our consciousness awakened at our birth. It is born only when we become aware of something larger than ourselves

Sometimes ppl yearn for things bcos society tells us those r things worth having. Achievement need not come from ambition. Just from self

A wife is a woman who knows ur weaknesses & failures better than you, ur dead spaces, has the map of ur soul drawn into her palm & loves u.

Be at the centre of ur world. And everything will fall into place.

Ppl want to control the world,change or comprehend it. We don't see the outside world is a reflection of our inner mind.We do all 3 everyday

Memory cripples us more than circumstances. If we can't let go of the past, we can't tackle the present.

You can't suppress pain no matter how hard you try. The only way to get over it is to accept it, embrace it and then release the pain.

No one's definition of love is ever going to match with another. The idea is to accept it, respect it & give back the best way u can.

If you don't have emotions to invest you should not be in a relationship. Beating an empty reservoir tank will only make noise.

When you're in love you want to be the one who completes the other person. Even if they are complete.

Most times it's the things that are unsaid that have greatest meaning. You just need to read the silence.

No matter how much you tell men what you want they are only going to give you what they think you need.

Be gentle with ur own soul. Let go of the pain that comes with guilt and sadness. Others live their lives their way. You hv to live ur own.

Holding on to negativity will only wear you down. Stop hoping, expecting, wishing and wanting from someone. Be true to yourself.

Transitions are by necessity full of sadness, esp if the past is made up of some happy memories. Be kind & true to yourself first n foremost

We absorb energies of ppl in our life even if they're on a social platform. Always surround yourself with ppl who wish u well n vice versa.

When u have a strong connection to ur internal power the quality of ur life is very different from when u let the outside world decide for u

Circumstances play an important role in success. Intention is not the only thing that matters. Doesn't mean we give up.Only means be patient

Your attitude is the first impression you make. It's not the clothes or your face. Being positive

"The scariest moment is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better." Stephen King

A vital part of a relationship is growth and belief. That requires more than happiness of togetherness, it requires thought and work.

A relationship cannot exist in a status quo. It can change its nature, structure and meaning. But it can't be about what it was when it started.

Be ruthless with your time. If it's not helping ur soul, ur career or ur heart, don't be with ppl for their sake.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up.

For a great relationship one has to be accepting of who that person is in totality. Not what u think the other person is or can be for u.

Always have a vision for yourself. Success doesn't come from a haphazard shot in the dark.

You can't judge your self worth in comparison to others. It can only be judged in accordance with ur values n dreams.

Understanding what ppl need & giving exactly that is the key to success. Trying to give what u think is correct is just a waste of time.

Detachment isn't letting go. It's knowing you can live without the thing even when it's in your life

If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up!

Friendships are like mutual funds. Not all your investments are going to give fabulous returns. Some will be duds.

Going back to square one only helps you make a new blueprint. Experience can never set you back. It only takes you forward.

The reason we suffer is because we think our identity & worth as human beings is inextricably tied to our careers or relationships. It's not

You can't expect someone to give up their priorities just because you think you should be one of them.

WHAT you need to do shd be crystal clear. WHEN you need to do it needs to be well thought through. HOW you execute is a matter of detail.

Follow your heart except when it's breaking into two. Then let your head take over and tell you what to do.

"Sometimes we pay for the sins committed in this lifetime without the luxury of being able to defer them to the next."

If you're going to speak the language of love you must learn to speak the language of apology as well.

We should really stop judging men by the amount of money they make and women by how thin they are. We are all far more than just that.

Not everything is gonna pay off. Some things will be there just so you experience life a little more.

End is not the end, it is "Effort Never Dies" & if you get NO in answer, then remember it is "Next Opportunity" Always be positive!

There are many routes to the final destination of your dreams. Taking the easy one wastes the most time. Push yourself to do better.

Only when you give your actions serious consideration will you be able to face the serious consequences without fear.

There is no relationship that has not been taken for granted at some point. The good ones rectify it immediately. The bad ones let it slip.

Respect for ur work is far more important than admiration for ur looks. One day beauty shall fade away, but ur legacy will live on.