Change My Nation Today

The awakening of this nation can last only a few more days if it doesn’t permeate into every soul. Everyone will go back to work in the New Year and we’ll continue to have rapes, sexual assaults and suffer undignified comments. India has become one of the most unsafe nations in the world. This is not good for the citizens, it’s not good for tourism, it’s not good for the future generation. It needs to change now. The government of India does not seem to be doing anything productive unless the country revolts against it. Corruption, price rise and now a gang rape. And while we are all mourning the death of the 23 year old medical student, rapes continue across the country – the two year old by her uncle, the 17 year old by 10 men for 7 days. It goes on.

It needs to change.

We need to change it.

I promise to sign every petition that will make sure the government hears our voice. I vow to fight to keep this movement alive. I swear to vote for the correct people and not give up on our leaders. I declare that I will teach my daughter to defend herself and my sons to respect women. I will be the change I want to see.

The Changes We Need to Start With Today:

1.       Stop female infanticide. If your family insists on a male child, protest. You have a right over your own womb. No one can take that right away from you. A son is not going to love you more or carry on a family name with pride because he is a son. Believe in daughters and start from there.

2.       Educate every girl child. Give to charities. Make sure your servants’ daughters are educated. Literacy empowers them to think.

3.       Don’t tell your sons, brothers, husbands that it’s okay not to do any work in the house and that domestic chores are strictly for women. Let equality reign from a young age.

4.       Don’t invite it. It’s far better to be precautious than sorry. Don’t think that bad things will not happen. Try to prevent it. Know where to go, when to go, whom to be safe with, what to do and be on your guard always. Until the world changes, you cannot expect to be safe. Be aware of what could happen. It’s okay to think of worst case scenarios. They prepare you to take on the worst.

5.       Surround yourself with trustworthy people who you can call on whenever you need to. Have numbers handy, people close by you can call.

6.       Teach the men in your house no matter how old or how young how women should be treated. Teach them gently, over time and do not expect an overnight change. But with sense and logic and not anger and frustration. Do it over and over again till they remember.

7.       Speak openly about sex. Don’t keep it closeted in a family. Be open with your sons and daughters. Encourage them to ask you things. Encourage counseling if they need help. Buy books if they need it. Let it be okay in the house to talk about it. This is not an embarrassing topic if questions are answered and it can help others.

8.       Don’t give in to marriage. Don’t believe you need a man to be happy. You are successful, happy and you will make it on your own. God has given you the strength and the power. Believe in yourself. Find the courage to do more, not just look for a man to complete you.

9.       Don’t stay in an unhappy/ abusive marriage. Don’t let your children see that’s it’s okay for your husband to hit you. Go for marriage counseling. Find a therapist to help you or your husband. Do what it takes and if all else fails, go to court. Be strong. Don’t let money or society or a family tell you what you should do with your life. That’s how your raise your children with self respect and dignity. That’s how you break the circle of staying in a bad marriage for the sake of children when the kids themselves grow up to be misogynists and unbalanced.

10.   Work. Pray. Believe. Find a job so you can support yourself. Economic independence at any level gives you strength. Pray hard even if bad things happen. There’s a larger picture for you. Strive to do better. Believe that no one but you can change the world. Believe that you are the leader. See it in yourself. Only then will the change happen. It will happen.

These are small steps that we need to take. But they are important. Let’s start today. Or all we will be doing is mourning for the loss of the innocent times in our life when we could send our kids to buy a loaf of bread from the local grocery store. We will regret our inaction all our lives if we don’t change today.

RAGE AND FEAR

Anger and Fear are the predominant emotions of our times today.

We are a nation of scared people. The generation above us was scared for economic and social reasons and our generation seems to be scared of change. Contrary to what we might say, many people do not want the system to change. They hold on to things and claim it in form of tradition.

I asked a Hindu friend of mine at a dinner party, “Would you be ok if your only daughter fell in love with a Muslim?” And she smiled and said, “I’m sure that won’t happen.”

I asked another friend of mine, “What if your only son told you he was a homosexual?” And the man turned to me and replied, “Why even think of such things?”

I asked family members who had attended Anna Hazare’s fast, “Have you ever given a bribe to get off a speeding ticket? Or to get your passport done early? Or to an `agent’ to process your license?” And they laughed and said, “Everyone does that.”

So why are we not changing? Why are we not progressing? Because it is easy and blissful to remain in a state of unawareness. Our parents were fearful that their kids would marry different caste or religions. Somewhere we’re still fearful of that. Otherwise why would there be so many matrimonial ads slotted into a person’s religion, caste and region? Let us stop doing that at least.

Our parents were fearful that they would not be able to save up enough to give their kids a secure life. We are fearful that there will be no security.

Lawlessness stems from fear. Fear stems from anger.

If we don’t get our way, we have no faith in the system to provide help. We help ourselves. That is what we are being taught now. A boyfriend murdering a girl’s ex lover, spouses shooting each other, bomb blasts, rapes, theft, and burnings. It stems from anger at not being able to get what they want and an impatience to want it right away. And it is not only in urban areas, the rural villages are imitating what they see and hear from the urban centers. There was a recent incident in Karwas village, 20 km from the Jaipur-Delhi highway that shocked the entire village. Two teenage girls watched as their lover slit their parents’ throat because they were not allowed to have sexual relations with him.

Where does this come from? People are asserting themselves but in the wrong way. Everyone has an attitude. Adolescents’ mottos are “I don’t care” and “I want it now!”

We fear “What will people think?”

We fear “What will our neighbours say?”

We fear “What if we make a mistake?

We fear “What if it doesn’t look nice?”

But it won’t be. Uncomfortable situations will arise. Delays will be imminent. And feathers will be ruffled. So what?

We need to do the right thing for our country. Not just for ourselves.

We need to stand up for the greater good and not just for economic benefit or cheap publicity. 

We need to start believing that it is ok if Big Brother USA does not like what we do. Once we start believing that we will not take a single bribe or that we will not care if our kids marry Pakistanis, or that we will not fear the hand of the UN, we will rise above the pettiness of everyday and become a stronger nation.

And it needs to start today. With each and every one of us. We have to believe in the right things. We have to have an attitude of caring for a stronger future. We have to demand answers. And ask the right questions. We need to elect the right people. We need to work together.

We have to stop being angry. With religion, caste, creed, sex or a system. And channel the energy into being productive.

And we have to stop being afraid of the outcome.