1. Why You Don’t Need To Please Everyone - We’ve grown up hearing “Be nice to people.” We’ve been taught to keep our tongues in check and be polite to elders. This has led many women to be apologetic for their thoughts and a nature to please everyone, be it friends, family or co-workers. We can’t say NO. And we never disagree, thinking people won’t like us anymore. So what if they don’t like us? We don’t need to be rude but we can say what we feel like and sometimes it’s important to do things for ourselves. Realise what you want to do with your time and life and stop pleasing everyone at the cost of it.
2. When to Walk Away From Men Who Are Not into You - Some men want you, then they don’t, then they want you again. OMG. The constant back and forth of mind games that you’ll play with men and analyse every little thing they say and how you feel will leave you exhausted. We women over think relationships. Just because we see “potential” in a man doesn’t mean we give away our months, years and life to a relationship that isn’t giving us what we want. Walk away when you feel you’ve given enough to the relationship or give it a deadline. Believe me, there are plenty of good men in this world who will cherish you.
3. That You Need to Speak to Your Family Often - You think your parents, grandparents and siblings may live forever but they won’t. The conflicts and misunderstandings you have with them should be finally put to rest. Understand that there are generation gaps, communication gaps, and cultural gaps that every family has. Every one you love may not understand you. But you can make an effort to love and understand them. When you start accepting them for who they are, they’ll start doing the same too. This is an ongoing process you need to do on a regular basis instead of thinking you tried once and it didn’t work. Make more effort.
4. Have Your Own Bank Account and Save 1/3rd – Most women will get a job and start spending all their money or give it to their parents to handle. Start having a grip about your own finances. Open an account and start putting money in there. Speak to a chartered accountant or banker who can advise you about savings and mutual funds for the long run. You might think you’ll earn enough and can save later but with a volatile market and risky employment in today’s times, you can find yourself out of a job at any time. That’s when you’ll need savings. If you’re getting married, always remember to open your own account. Set the precedent from the beginning or even if you’ve been married for some time, open an account for yourself. Even if your husband asks “what is the need” and you want to keep peace and please him, still open one. You’ll thank yourself later.
5. Travel is Important – Book your tickets and dates well in advance so you can save money and travel solo or with your partner or family wherever you can. Travel is an important part of getting out of your comfort zone and experiencing new cultures, food, and life. It brings perspective and makes you realise who you are. You don’t always have to travel internationally. There are magnificent places in India that are cheaper that you must have on your bucket list.
6. It’s Better to Be Safe than Sorry with Fashion – If you’re not comfortable wearing something, don’t push your body into doing so because it’s in fashion or from peer pressure. You’ll stand out for being yourself. Instead of having malfunctioning wardrobes and shoe bites, you’ll have the time to think about what you want from life, instead of what people think about you! One of the richest men in the world Mark Zuckerberg only wears grey shirts and jeans because he believes that he can’t waste his grey cells on deciding what to wear since he has other important things to think about!
7. Building Yourself – Make a CV. What all have you done with your life? What more do you want to do? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What are you doing today to achieve that? Even if you just want to get married and have children, do enough to tell those stories later! Learn something new. Take up a course. Teach children. Help the elderly. Manage an event. Take up an adventure sport. Read a book a week. Pick up the Time magazine and read about international affairs. Friends will come and go in your life but what you do and who you become lies solely in the time you invest in yourself now.
8. What Your Body, Skin & Soul Needs– Always use sunblock before you leave the house and remove your make up after a party no matter how tired you are. Maintain proper hygiene at all times. Get proper gynaecologist check-ups done once a year. Your body is going through a hormonal change and you need to understand and get treated regularly before it becomes a major problem! Get a massage done once in a while to pamper yourself. Spend time alone. Reflect. Introspect. Meditate. The balance you achieve now will help you deal with many issues later.
9. How to Eat Right & Work It Out – Have a proper breakfast. Every day! Watch what you’re eating through the day. Don’t starve yourself. And don’t over eat because you’re ravenous. Choose your food and drinks wisely. It shows on your skin and your body. No amount of makeup can hide it. Even if you have a great metabolism and can burn everything, your internal organs will start deteriorating with too much fat and alcohol. Drink enough water. Work out regularly. Take the stairs if possible. Walk in the mornings for half an hour if not more every day. Do yoga, Zumba, pilates, boxing, anything that keeps you active. It’s not just to have a great body which you will, it will make your mind stronger too.
10. Owning Your Sex Life – You don’t need to sleep with a man on the first date or even the third. You don’t need to have sex because you’re lonely or depressed or drunk. You don’t need to get back with your ex because he’s comfortable. You don’t need to get on dating apps because you feel “re-virginised.” By 30 you need to own your body and sex life. You can choose to say no or yes to a man as long as it empowers you.